Chapter Eight
Part I
"I developed a five-course program in home management.
Everything was taught from a Torah perspective."
LIFESAVER!
I see our Creator's 'hand,' so to speak, in all that has
happened to me. He guides me in particular directions. For
example, I was born to a mother, of blessed memory, who was a
great balabusta (homemaker). Her cooking and baking
were well known and in demand. Of her housekeeping, people
would say, "you could eat off her floors." She was a whiz at
stretching a dime into a dollar.
She was the best homemaking teacher I had, in or out of
school. Not only because she was so knowledgeable about the
practical aspects of managing a home, but also, and equally
important, because she knew how, and was willing, and had the
patience, to pass this knowledge on to me.
I often went shopping with Momma. Two pairs of hands made it
much easier to carry many heavy bags on and off trolley cars.
In the 1930s and 40s, there were separate stores for each
type of food sold. Momma had her favorite vendor for fruit
and vegetables, for butter, cheese and eggs, fish, and
chickens.
In our butcher store, live chickens walked around on the
floor of the shop together with the customers, who would pick
them up to be examined. When the right chicken was chosen, it
would be given to the shochet. Momma would always
watch carefully during this procedure to make sure he showed
her that the inside was O.K. I could never look while this
was being done.
The fish man sold mainly live and freshly killed fish. Some
swam in a large tank of water. The customer would choose the
one she wanted, and it would be killed and cut up, or be
taken from the tank and wrapped, alive, with lots of ice
chips, and many layers of paper. It was then put in a plastic
bag. I never carried that bag home because every time the
fish squiggled, the whole bag jerked and moved.
When we would get home, one of the first things Momma did was
fill the bathtub with water and put the fish in it. This way
she kept it fresh right up until she cooked it the next day
for our Friday night dinner. Of course that meant that nobody
bathed Thursday nights. I did not mind because I looked
forward to playing with the fish. I would sit on the edge of
the tub, and with a broomstick, gently stir up the water, and
watch it swim.
The next morning, Momma would put the fish on a big wooden
board. With one or two hammer blows to its head, she killed
it. I always tried, unsuccessfully, to persuade her not to do
it. I never ate the fish. How could you eat a friend?
Since I was interested in just about everything to do with
her shopping, I asked many questions, such as why she chose
certain foods and not others. Momma would stop what she was
doing, if she could, or as soon as possible after I asked a
question, and answer me. She never got tired of what were
probably endless questions.
I often received on-the-spot demonstrations or explanations,
such as in the fish store. She would lift the fish's gill to
see if it was a bright red, and had the smell of the ocean,
and see if its eyes were clear. These were some signs of
freshness.
My training was such, that when I was nine or ten years old,
and Momma was ill and confined to bed, I shopped for,
prepared, and cleaned up (properly), from a three-course
meal. And although I never liked the cleaning aspect of
homemaking, I knew how, from personal experience, to clean an
entire house well by the age of twelve.
Another indication of Hashem's leading me along a certain
path, was when I applied for college admission. I wanted to
study literature, but the woman I had chosen as my mentor,
'just happened' to be the head of the home economics
department in the high school I attended. She strongly
advised I change to home economics. So there I was, headed
for a career I would never have thought of before, partly
because I couldn't say no to an authority figure, especially
my mentor, and partly because she presented it as being
challenging.
Once again, I saw His 'hand' appear when I wanted to earn my
master's degree in literature, rather than in home economics.
Unfortunately, I did not find teaching home economics to high
school girls as challenging as I would have preferred. I was
informed that even though both majors, home economics and
literature, were given in the same school of education, I
first had to get a Bachelor's degree before being allowed to
apply for a graduate degree in literature.
As a wife and mother, I could not afford to invest the
additional years, or the money, in doing this, so I earned a
Master's degree in home economics, which allowed me to
continue working as a high school teacher. Hashem was
consistently guiding me along a specific path.
My combined experiences as a homemaker, teacher, and
volunteer in various types of organizations showed me that
running a home efficiently and effectively, and running a
business, have much in common. They both deal with multiple
problems in many areas that are comparable to one another,
and that need to be resolved. My experience as a management
analyst for a number of years enhanced my homemaking skills,
and my homemaking skills helped me sharpen my business
skills.
Soon after moving to the warm, religious community of
Kamenitz, a small part of Neve Yaakov in northeast Jerusalem,
a number of my women neighbors who were feeling overwhelmed
and frustrated asked if I would help them improve their
homemaking skills.
I was past sixty, and planned on spending my 'retirement
years' doing two things I enjoyed very much, learning Torah
and being a volunteer. I was surprised by my neighbors'
request, especially since it dealt with a subject I had left
far behind me several decades before. But I met with them and
listened for over two hours to what they had to say.
I was moved by what I heard, and wanted very much to help
them. I prayed to Hashem for assistance. I had not taught
home economics for over thirty years, and then it was to high
school girls, not married women, and I did not have a single
book on the subject. But Hashem heard my prayer (and prepared
me!).
For three weeks, day and night, I wrote, and wrote, and
wrote. It was as if Hashem was pouring the information into
my head, and I was recording it. I used up and kept buying
more and more legal-size pads of paper, and batches of
pencils, which were worn down to stubs. I rarely got to bed
before three in the morning.
All I thought about was that I wanted to help these women,
and that this was a mission being offered to me by Hashem. It
was my choice to accept it and do the best I could to help
these women become more efficient, effective, and happier
homemakers, or I could choose to decline and continue using
most of my time learning Torah and how to read Hebrew.
It did not take me long to reach a decision. I realized that
Hashem was giving me a fantastic opportunity to do a very
special mitzvah. I would have the opportunity to
promote sholom bayis while simultaneously
strengthening Klal Yisroel.
I developed a five-course program in home management.
Everything was taught from a Torah perspective. The focus was
on prioritizing, planning ahead, and maximizing one's
efficiency and effectiveness when spending one's time,
energy, and money, while trying to accomplish what needs to
be done, and what one wants to do, while working with the
financial and physical resources and limitations one has.
Sessions were approximately an hour and one-half, and were
conducted weekly. The entire program took students about five
and one-half months to complete.
The most essential ingredient was how to manage, and use,
one's time wisely, in spite of unexpected interruptions, and
complications. Coping skills were provided to show how time
for oneself, could be had every day, as well as how to be
flexible, make changes, and handle emergencies, in carrying
out their time charts.
MONEY MANAGEMENT addressed how to deal with day-to-day
financial activities (shopping, banking, record keeping,
etc.), differentiating between needs and wants, how to make,
and keep, a realistic, stress-free budget, and many money-
saving tips when planning to spend money.
FOOD MANAGEMENT included nutrition, menu planning, how to
compare similar items when choosing what to buy, shopping
tips, how to store raw, cooked, frozen, perishable, and
packaged food, and tips on food preparation.
SPACE AND STORAGE MANAGEMENT showed how to maximize the space
one has, how best to store everything in an organized and
efficient manner, and the principles of home decorating.
CLEANING MANAGEMENT included suggestions on what to clean,
where, when, and how, helpful tools and products to use, how
to make Passover cleaning easier, and how to keep one's home
clutter-free and neat with a minimum of time and effort.
As important, if not more, as learning the 'tools of the
trade' to make one more efficient and effective, is the
attitude one has. One can be knowledgeable, but if one is not
interested, or is lazy, or does not appreciate how important
her work is, then that knowledge lies dormant, or is
underutilized, and in reality, is wasted. All the skills and
know-how we possess will not get the task done if our
attitude is such that we don't care to start, to finish, to
do it well, or to do it on time.
Our attitude about ourselves, and others, the work we do, and
the experiences we have, can determine whether we live happy,
productive lives, or be sad, self-pitying, angry, and, or,
feel like a failure. Our attitude also affects those around
us, especially our families.
Homemaking in today's society is portrayed as something one
does out of necessity, rather than by choice, and that does
not require intelligence and creativity. Those involved full-
time are often thought of as not too bright. These views are
at odds with Jewish values.
[Note: Soroh Glaser's Lifesaver's Guide or "Chochmas
Noshim" in Hebrew is available at bookstores or call her
at 02-5879549]
