Yud Zayin Tammuz — The Beginning.
"We implore You, Hashem, deliver us..." Tehillim
118:25
Logic explodes with the first bomb blasting through the
quiet city of Safed. Rationality is nullified with the first
deaths in this mystically ancient city. Weariness aches in
my soul.
" — put your trust in Hashem — I will both
lie down and sleep in peace, for You, Hashem, alone, makes
me dwell in safety..." Tehillim 3:6
Timeless days of storming — this mid-July blue-skied,
cool breeze, day-after-day of blasts and booms thundering
from all directions; shattering glass, terrified screams,
tears of panic — from this storm of hatred —
antisemitic cruel, hard hatred — in mid-July.
In the presumed safety of our house, my husband and I sit.
Our children grasp hands, arms, clothing, for the slightest
sensation of security, hearing the stereophonic bombing, to
the North and to the South. Ambulances and helicopters fill
the below and the above.
But You, Hashem! You fill all space! Please, please guide
each enemy missile to empty field, to place of no explosion
. . .
"— not for our sake, Hashem, not for our sake, but
for the sake of Your Name bestow glory, Your steadfast love,
and for Your truth . . . " Tehillim 115:1
War jets streak through the endless blue of Israeli sky;
streaks of reality as the hundredth, thousandth, boom
penetrates my being. My heart jolts. Another blast; another
heartbeat missed.
" — How many are my enemies — they who rise
up against me — but You, Hashem are a shield for me .
. . " Tehillim 3:1
How many bombs can our enemies possess? Many. Many more than
my pedestrian mind can fathom.
How much defense do we, smallest of the small, have? Much.
Much, much more than my mortal mind can comprehend. We have
Hashem fighting for us.
"How long, Hashem? Will You be angry forever?" Tehillim
79:5
Yet each new July day of not-a-minute-without-explosions
stretches into forever.
The words I write don't rhythm. But here, now, there is no
rhythm. No rhythm, no reason.
"Hashem has heard my supplication; the L-rd receives my
prayer. All my enemies will be ashamed and much affrighted;
they will turn back and be confounded in a moment." Tehillim
6: 10-11
Which roars more loudly, more pronounced — the wailing
of ambulances or the wailing of frightened children?
I squeeze my eyes closed against the rapid heart beating; I
close my ears to the tragic pain, the relentless suffering
within the slim shouldered borders of our Holy Land; my
precious home.
But the bombing continues as we await the Geulah — the
ultimate beginning.
