Chapter Eight
Part II
LIFESAVER!
The Torah teaches us that marriage and family are integral
parts of the Divine plan. The center of Jewish life has been,
and always will be, the home. The Jewish woman creates,
manages, and maintains it.
No other job, or role in life, offers the multitude of
opportunities to reach our potential, and challenge our
creativity and intellectual capabilities, as does being a
MAKER OF A HOME. No other job, or role in life, provides the
same sense of being needed, of endless love, and
fulfillment.
Jewish tradition sees the maintenance of the home as critical
to the perpetuation of the Jewish people. Women are given the
primary responsibility for its upkeep; and most important, on
a daily basis, for the spiritual direction of its members.
Do women truly realize the great merit they have in being
chosen by Hashem to create, develop, and maintain, their own
Mikdash Me'at (miniature temple)? Do they realize that
they are self-employed, and therefore, can change, modify,
delete, or add whatever, and whenever, it is necessary to
help carry out their responsibilities successfully and
happily?
Everything women do, whether it is cleaning floors, changing
diapers, making challah, or lighting the Sabbath
candles, has holiness because it affects the overall sanctity
of their own, personal temple. What, and how things are done,
and to a significant degree, whether there is peace and
contentment within the home, is a reflection of the woman's
attitude, of how she views her role as a homemaker.
Many Jewish women work today, out of necessity, or by choice,
and to varying degrees, are all exposed to, and are
influenced by their environment, society, and the culture as
a whole. Travel to and from the workplace, the business arena
itself, newspapers, magazines, radios, plug-in, portable, and
cellular telephones, television, computers, Internet, videos,
and peer pressure, can influence us to live contrary to our
tradition. What is experienced, personally or vicariously,
affects our attitude, which in turn affects how we view our
purpose in life, as well as our behavior.
There are a number of women who have had no training or
experience to prepare them for this new role of homemaker,
and so, understandably, they are overwhelmed. Many women
enter marriage with sweet dreams and erroneous Hollywood-
type fantasies. The hard realities are unknown.
Some think that "on-the-job training" will suffice. To their
sorrow, they find that they were wrong. Some live far from
their mothers, who, if nearby, might have been able, if they
themselves were knowledgeable, to help, guide, and advise
them. Some women are having trouble coping as their families
keep growing larger.
Women ask, when is there, or will there be, time to sleep, or
rest? Is it possible to get everything done, and on time?
What is the best way to do things? How can I make ends meet?
Will I ever find time for myself anymore? How can I juggle
home, family, and job? And why wasn't I properly prepared, at
home and/or in school so that I could meet the challenges
involved?
My respect and admiration for these Torah-observant women
increased as I became more aware of their situations. I watch
them persevering, in spite of all kinds of difficulties, in
order to fulfill their role as good Jewish wives and
mothers.
*
Because of the widespread need to feel less overwhelmed, to
learn the "tools of the trade" so to speak, and in order to
save precious time energy and money, I was asked to teach,
and to speak to women's organizations, all over Israel, and
to conduct private consultations with them, as well as with
husbands and wives together, on home management issues.
I wrote the book LIFESAVER! The Jewish Homemaker's
Survival Kit so that I could reach, and hopefully help,
more women. I also produced tapes on the book's contents for
those who prefer learning orally, or haven't the time to sit
and read. Subsequently, I had the book translated into
Hebrew. It is called Chochmat Nashim (The Wisdom of
Women).
In order to meet the ever-growing demand for classes on the
subject from women all over Israel, I developed several
programs. One was to train other women to be able to teach
LIFESAVER! This was two-faceted. For local women,
there were live classes. For those living too far away or
abroad, there was the LIFESAVER! Home Management
Correspondence Course.
I also opened The Home Management Institute, in Jerusalem,
where one day a week, subjects were taught in English, and on
another day, in Hebrew. There were one-day workshops before
the holidays, and ten-week courses given once a week. I found
myself also lecturing and giving workshops in Israel,
England, and the United States.
For a time, I had a weekly radio program, and I occasionally
wrote newspaper articles on home management issues. I was
invited to be a weekly contributor to two religious, English-
language papers, but I felt I was doing too much already. The
lack of enough rest, and the almost constant pressure, which
included not being able to understand Hebrew, were affecting
my health.
For more than ten years, I worked literally day and night,
planning, and carrying out various programs and activities.
No sooner did I develop one thing, when I recognized another
need and addressed it. Time seemed to fly by as I worked. I
would constantly be amazed, when I looked at my watch, that
it was the middle of the night or near dawn.
I also felt the need to do as much as I could, as quickly as
possible, because of my blood disease. Since the blood cancer
was diagnosed in 1989, the frequent and periodic blood tests,
and the daily chemo medication I have been taking for the
past fifteen years, always remind me how precious life, and
therefore, time, is. I must not waste it. However, the lack
of enough rest, the almost constant pressure, and the
physical exertion, were eventually too much for me. I began
doing less and less. Everything I did seemed physically, and
sometimes even mentally, too difficult.
Looking back on these LIFESAVER! years I am, as I was
during the time, exceedingly grateful to Hashem for the sense
of fulfillment and the satisfaction I had, and still receive,
from being involved in this important work. Thanks to
Hashgochoh Pratis (Divine Providence), my mother's teaching,
my professional training, and my experiences for over fifty
years as a wife, homemaker, mother, home economist, teacher,
caterer, publisher and editor of a national, quarterly
newsletter, management analyst, and volunteer, I have been
able to share the practical knowledge, skills, and
techniques, which can help make homemaking easier and more
enjoyable, and thus strengthen marital harmony.
My high school mentor was right, after all. Home economics
did prove to be challenging, but in a way and in a place I
would never have imagined at that time in my life.
Spiritually and emotionally, it yielded rewards beyond my
wildest dreams. Being involved — consumed is more
accurate - - with this mission, was much more rewarding than
any amount of money I could have received had I not made
LIFESAVER! a non-profit organization. The deep sense of
fulfillment and joy it has given me, by hearing directly from
homemakers and often husbands, about how these various
projects have helped them and their families, makes me feel
truly blessed, and exceedingly grateful to Hashem. These
years have been one of the most fulfilling periods in my
life.
Shortly after moving to Neve Yaacov I did something else I
had not done before, with two purposes in mind. I wanted to
raise money for our neighborhood charity, Poseach es
Yadechah, and also provide an opportunity for local women
who were willing to perform before other women, to share
their special training and talents, as well as give the rest
of us the chance to enjoy it.
The show was called Ladies Night. Comedy, drama, music
— instrumentalists, a band, singers (solos and a
choir), and dance, were performed by ladies, for ladies. We
raised large amounts of money for the local charity. It was a
great deal of fun and took many months to prepare.
Announcements were posted asking those who wished to
participate, to register.
There were auditions, a number of rehearsals, finding and
preparing the appropriate location in which to have the show,
writing up, and printing a program, with revenue- producing
ads from local businesses, and recruiting and overseeing the
staff that worked on stage props, the raffles, taking
admission fees, distributing programs, etc.
Eventually, I became so involved with teaching home
management, and with my book LIFESAVER! that I just
did not have the time to devote to Ladies Night after its
second year. Many of the participants, and those from the
audience, told me how much they missed having the show
continue. So did I!
