Part II
The first part noted the basic question: As believing
Jews, we know that everything which happens to us is min
haShomayim -- Divine Providence straight from Hashem. At
the same time, we are held accountable for our actions. How
do we accept responsibility for the decisions we make, while
forfeiting control over the paths that our lives take?
One important point noted is that in truth everything that
happens in the world advances Hashem's underlying purposes in
the world: to reveal His glory. Even those who intend to
oppose Hashem, the reshoim, ultimately advance
Hashem's goals -- in suffering their punishment, for example.
The second point noted is that Hashem has chosen to mask
His continued operations in the world under the cover of
teva, a natural order that persists and appears to
govern how things work in the world. Those who study nature
but do not relate it to Hashem's underlying
Hashgochoh, will never fully understand what is going
on.
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As stated, one of the ten statements of Creation is that food
should sustain us. Every time we eat, we are actually
connecting with one of Hashem's sacred utterances, but we do
not see this. If this were obvious to us, we would lose our
freedom of choice, because our total awareness of Hashem
would prevent us from even considering sin. Hashem purposely
concealed His identity in His natural laws to allow us free
will. Through this, we can come to recognize Him on our own
and thereby earn our relationship with Him.
Hashem's Concealed Hashgochoh
This leads us to an additional dimension of Hashem's
concealed hashgochoh. Let us recall that Hashem
created the world in order to benefit His creations. The
ultimate absolute good that Hashem can give us is a
relationship with Him. The best way to build that
relationship is by earning it, which implies that we must
start at a place of distance from Him and bring ourselves
nearer to Him.
In essence, Hashem's rotzon pnimi, inner will, is to
bestow on us continuous, bountiful good, beyond human
comprehension. However, to actualize this good requires a
degree of withholding it, so that we have the free will to
earn it. Hashem's concealed identity allows for the reduced
form of the tov that Hashem wants to give us here.
This is an example of two levels of Hashem's rotzon,
His inner will and His outer will. Hashem's inner will is
to provide us with boundless good, a total revelation of His
goodness. Yet, in order to bring this about, Hashem holds
back this goodness from us and does not openly identify
Himself as the Source of all good.
Changes in Nature
The well-known gemora in Taanis tells the story
of Rebbe Chanina ben Dosa, who had no oil for lighting the
Shabbos candles. He instructed his wife to use vinegar
instead, because, "the One who told oil to ignite will tell
vinegar to ignite." Rebbe Chanina lived beyond teva.
He merited to live in a realm where every "law of nature" is
simply another expression of Hashem's will. Since Rebbe
Chanina fully understood this reality, Hashem dropped the
"laws of nature" and related to him overtly.
However, most of us are not on that level of awareness. We
cannot expect Hashem to change the set order for us. If we
plant an orange seed in the ground, we cannot anticipate a
rose bush to sprout. As stated earlier, Hashem's basic will
is for the world to operate according to natural laws. In
general, Hashem does not change this program or break its
rules. In case of dire necessity or when one merits Hashem's
interference, Hashem will override His order of nature and
perform what is known as a miracle.
The general program is that Hashem's basic interest that
teva preside is irrespective of the individual
involved. In other words, unless one merits Hashem's
interference, nature will follow its programmed course.
Sometimes we read into daily occurrences and try to determine
why Hashem arranged events as He did. For example, someone
trying to open a window that was painted closed may try to
figure out why Hashem does not want the window opened. Or a
gas stove that was switched on by a child brings to question
why Hashem wanted the gas leak.
The real answer is because Hashem wants His world to run in
an orderly fashion. Hashem continuously decrees that if a
window is painted closed, it should not open. And if someone
turns on a gas stove without lighting it, there will be a gas
leak. With His superior insight, Hashem established a law of
nature that gas will flow if allowed to do so, enabling us to
cook.
Now, if someone was in that room at the exact time that the
gas was leaking and the window was painted shut, that may
have shown Hashem's involvement in that person's life. Hashem
may have arranged this situation for the person involved to
sense Hashem's involvement in his life. But if we are simply
discussing a random event like a gas leak that occurred
because of inattention, then we cannot read too deeply into
it. As we explained, Hashem wants His world to run in a
natural way.
In other words, we cannot blame our carelessness on
Hashem.
In fact, someone once approached the Chazon Ish with an
important question. The man had plugged a faulty toaster into
the wall and received a tremendous electric shock. The force
of the shock was so severe that he dropped the toaster, which
saved his life. He traveled to the Chazon Ish zt"l and
asked him what message Hashem was trying to send him. The
Chazon Ish straightforwardly replied that he should learn not
to plug faulty appliances into walls. This deflating response
meant, "Do not blame your negligence on Hashem."
Shidduchim
One area that is definitely basherte is shidduchim.
Chazal teach us that forty days before a fetus is formed,
a Bas Kol comes out and says that this girl is for
this boy. Thus, we should conclude from this that all
marriages are meant to be. If so, where does that leave room
for divorce and for older singles?
Part of the answer can be learned from the following
incident. An older bochur came to the Steipler Gaon
zt"l wanting to know when he will meet his
basherte. The Steipler told him that he had met her
five years before. She wasn't attractive enough for him so he
passed her up.
Let us explain this. Chazal teach us that everything is in
Hashem's hands besides fear of Heaven. As stated earlier,
"Fear of Heaven" is a collective term which includes all
areas of free choice. Our life circumstances are pre-
determined, but bechiroh allows us to ruin them.
Generally, Hashem does not interfere with free choice,
because our purpose in life is to make proper decisions.
Preordained means that it is meant to happen, but Hashem also
allows us free rein to determine if it will actually happen.
Although Hashem's inner rotzon is that we choose
"good," Hashem's outer rotzon is to allow us free
will. Yet, as we explained before, even when we choose
poorly, we are ultimately fulfilling Hashem's will and are
contributing to His glory.
Applying this to shidduchim, let us take the example
of the young man who passed up his basherte. Later
Hashem will probably send someone else his way. Since this
woman was not preordained for him, their natures may not
match very well, and it may be more difficult for them to
make a happy marriage.
What about the young woman who was rejected by her
basherte? She did not make the wrong choice. Why does
she deserve her situation?
Undoubtedly, Hashem involves Himself in everyone's life,
including hers. We should entertain the possibility that
Hashem will send her a better chosson than the first
boy. Since her basherte made a very poor choice and no
longer deserves someone of her caliber, Hashem will probably
send her a more befitting chosson. If, Heaven forbid,
this does not happen, we must conclude that there is more to
the situation than meets the eye.
Here is a second dimension of personal involvement in
shidduchim. A young girl in England learned from her
fifth grade teacher that one can daven for a good
chosson. The young girl took her lesson to heart and
began sincerely davening for a good chosson.
Years later, she dated a fine ben Torah, who
confessed to her that at one point in his life he had begun
straying from the path of Torah. He told her that in the
midst of his downfall, he was suddenly inspired to make a
serious turnaround and to apply himself to Torah observance.
When she asked him when this turnaround had begun, he
mentioned the exact date that she had begun davening
for a good match.
This young girl's tefilloh and serious concern ensured
that she would meet her basherte. Hashem responded to
her tefillos and led her chosson back on
track.
Let us absorb this point for a moment and discover another
facet of Hashgochoh protis in shidduchim.
Chazal teach us, "Kosheh lezavgeim kekriyas Yam Suf."
Making shidduchim is as difficult for Hashem as
splitting the Yam Suf. What is the comparison between these
two seemingly dissimilar areas?
HaRav Avigdor Miller zt"l explained that when Hashem
took the Jews out of Mitzrayim, He veered from His usual
course. Although Hashem generally chooses to remain in the
background to allow us free choice, at that point in history,
Hashem revealed Himself and changed His program for running
the world. This is kosheh, "difficult," for Hashem,
because it is contrary to His usual procedure.
The Vilna Gaon develops Chazal's statement about
shidduchim and questions why they chose the particular
miracle of Krias Yam Suf. He answers that the secret
to a successful marriage is a perfect blend of the natures of
husband and wife. In general, one nature leans toward
sternness and unwavering principle, while the other leans
towards compassion and submission. Since both of these are
necessary for a proper marriage, Hashem arranges for the two
parties to have perfect corresponding natures.
The Vilna Gaon explains that Hashem displayed this type of
balance at Krias Yam Suf. He showed absolute judgment
to the Mitzrim and utmost compassion to his beloved
Yidden. At the very moment that Hashem was drowning
the Mitzrim and casting them against the deep waters, He was
compassionately providing fruit trees and honey for the
Yidden.
In this same manner, Hashem determines the perfect degree of
compassion and corresponding stern behavior that every
marriage requires. Since this perfect balance is dependent on
people's conduct prior to marriage, it requires Hashem's
constant involvement bringing them to their perfect point.
The famous midrash tells of the gentile matron who
asked what Hashem has been busy with since He created the
world. She was told that he has been busy making
shidduchim. Incredulous, the queen took 100 male
slaves and 100 maidservants and matched them up. The next day
she found them with bruised bodies and broken bones. She then
admitted that matchmaking is no simple matter.
Chazal's hidden message may be that one's basic nature is not
the only factor in a preordained marriage. Years of effort
and struggle go into the program to refine these characters
until they produce a perfect blend.
Although a match is preordained even before the involved
parties are born, Hashem constantly arranges situations and
challenges to develop the couple for each other. At the
moment of marriage, their natures are so perfectly matched
that they complement each other in every aspect of life.
End of Part II
Click here to view Part I.
