At the edge of the table rested a tall stack of tests,
waiting. Finally, I was free to mark them, even though it was
already late. Not that I'm complaining, G- d forbid. We've
had some trying days this past week. My little ones were
burning up with fever, flu and viruses, and between having to
run every morning at the last minute to the seminary and
having to take care of the sick ones from afternoon to night
and trying to keep the house looking fit for human habitation
in some way -- I didn't have a spare moment.
The children, healthy and sick, were climbing in and out of
their beds and I, the `great educator,' was sitting and
marking the tests between yawns. A strident ringing suddenly
interrupted me. An energetic and businesslike "Good evening,"
greeted my ears. "Am I speaking with Mrs. Katz, the teacher
in Seminary X?"
"Yes." I turned another page in the meantime, finding it hard
to separate myself from the exams. I nodded into the
receiver. "Yes, and who is asking?"
"Rachel. I was referred to you as a source of information
concerning a shidduch for our son. Can you answer some
questions, please?"
"I'll gladly try. Whom are we talking about?"
"Yes, well, the girl's name is Esther Lichtman. You're her
homeroom teacher?"
"That's right. A charming girl."
"Good. That's what I heard. This definition `charming.' What
does it entail, exactly?"
"In which areas?"
"I'd like to know, for example, how is she socially? Does she
have lots of friends?"
"Oh, she's very sociable. The girls love to be in her
company. She's amiable and cordial. She doesn't think too
highly of herself despite her talents and good grades."
"Ah! I wanted to check that out, too. How are her grades, her
tests?"
I cast a desperate glance at my poor pile. "She gets fine
grades."
"What does that mean? They told me she excels."
"Listen, my dear woman, I'm not authorized to tell you what
percentage she got in each test in each subject. Between us --
does it really make such a difference?"
"What a question! Of course it makes a difference whether she
is mediocre or excellent."
"Who said mediocre? I already told you her grades are
good."
"I understand. Fine. But you do mean to say that she isn't at
the top of the class? Too bad. My son is actually the
illui of the yeshiva. He really deserves someone at
his level."
"Excuse me, but is he looking for a good wife or a billiant
chavrusa?"
"What? I don't understand... Well, what about her
middos? What's her character like? You've already
mentioned that she's sociable. I hope you don't mean that she
befriends one and all, that she is not selective, or
serious..."
"Oh, she is serious, and also good-hearted. She has a
respectable seriousness about her and a captivating charm.
She is very likeable."
"What do you mean by `captivating?' Is she domineering?"
"What? Domineering? I never said that. Of course, not."
"All right. You certainly understand that for my gentle and
refined son, it wouldn't do to have a girl who forces her
views upon others. Very well, then, let us summarize. Esther
is mediocre in her grades, very sociable, almost to a fault,
serious, kind, not excellent but not at the bottom of the
class, either. So what can you tell me about the family's
financial situation? What are their demands?"
"I'm sorry, but I haven't the faintest idea in this area."
"Oh, well," she sighed. "We'll have to leave it open. Tell
me, now, how is her appearance?"
"Well," stifling another yawn, "she's tall and a bit
plump..."
"What do you mean `plump?' Look, my son is tall and thin, and
under no circumstances is he prepared to hear..."
"Just a minute, excuse me," I cut her off, impolitely. "Why
did you ask me about the other details, if the suggestion is
out of the question?"
"Look, hearing it from strangers doesn't compare to
information from the homeroom teacher." An awkward silence on
both ends of the line. I didn't have the strength to think
any more.
"Mrs. Katz, are you with me?" Yes, unfortunately, still. "So
what do you suggest? How will I know if she's suitable for
our son?"
"Why don't you meet her yourself?"
"Perhaps. Before I finish (will there really come such a
happy moment?), will she know how to cook well? Will she be,
as they say, a successful baalebusta? Marks and
outward appearances are not the main thing in life. Don't you
agree with me?"
"With all my heart, although I don't really know the girls to
that extent and besides, even if she isn't an expert in that
area, she'll certainly learn in time. There's no wiser person
than one with experience."
"You're probably right." I was completely confused. Again we
were silent. I could hardly hold up my head. If not for the
awkwardness, I would have hung up already a long time ago.
"So what do you suggest? Should I forget about this offer? It
doesn't really matter; I have the name of another girl from
your class. But it's late, Mrs. Katz. (Oh, so she finally got
that message.) I'll call you tomorrow, please G-d. Thank you
and good night."
"Good night and good luck."
Perhaps I'll disconnect the phone tomorrow, at least until I
finish marking the exams.
