HaRav Heisler, a veteran disciple of Maran ztvk'l,
related a succession of amazing stories about the ameilus,
yegio and ahavas haTorah of Maran Sar HaTorah
ztvk'l. Twice during the speech, Rav Heisler's voice
broke, choked with tears; his love for Maran permeated the
room.
By way of introduction: I am only mentioning examples from
Maran ztvk'l's life for a simple reason. Can I
eulogize Maran ztvk'l? A eulogy cannot do justice. I
can only "mention facts" -- not eulogize, but tell stories to
the listeners precisely as they occurred.
"How does chibut hakever feel?" Maran ztvk'l
used to ask. How can we make tangible for ourselves here in
olam hazeh what chibut hakever means?
Maran ztvk'l answered like this: "A Yid is
lying in his bed Friday night and a Tosafos in
Kerisus is bothering him [tumelt im] in his
head. He does not remember what the baalei Tosafos
say; it is dark in the house and he cannot turn on the light.
The Yid is tossing and turning from side to side the
whole night -- this is chibut hakever!"
Maran ztvk'l did not just say "maiselach"; he
said everything from deep in his heart. His true essence, his
emes, was Torah and ahavas haTorah. Many in our
generation were zoche to Torah, and even ahavas
haTorah, but it is still Torah-and-something-else. Maran
ztvk'l was only Torah, nothing else. This was the
essence of his existence: Torah.
There is no logical explanation bederech hateva for
all of Maran's communal leaderships. It was a special gift
from Shomayim, as Chazal say that from anyone who
learns Torah for its own sake "we enjoy from him counsel and
wisdom."
I remember the period earlier, before the burden of the
community was upon Maran ztvk'l; then he did not get
involved in anything. During this period, an avreich
came to him and complained about a certain breach in
Tiveria. Maran ztvk'l agreed to investigate the
matter, but he asked the avreich in pain how he knew
about it. "Why don't I know about it?" The avreich
must have been lacking in hasmodoh.
Did You Eat Breakfast?
Maran's total involvement in Torah was "not normal." When he
learned in Slutsk, he used to eat breakfast at his host's
home and immediately run to yeshiva to learn. When he entered
the beis medrash, he "grabbed" a shtender and
sat down to learn while still in motion.
HaRav Isser Zalman Meltzer zt'l used to relate that
the local Bolsheviks noticed this yeshiva bochur who
used to run somewhere every day at the same time. They
suspected him, so they followed him. They saw him run into a
building, sit down and shokel. They did not understand
this strange behavior but began to mockingly copy this Jewish
youth. The Bolsheviks used to run quickly, sit down and
shokel.
Once Maran zt'l showed us a difficult Ramban in
Bovo Kamo. The next morning I met Maran ztvk'l,
and he asked me, "Did you eat breakfast?"
I answered, "Yes."
"Did you sleep well last night?"
I answered, "Boruch Hashem."
"And yesterday did you eat supper?"
"Yes, boruch Hashem," I replied.
"And you aren't embarrassed?" Maran ztvk'l continued.
"I showed you a difficult Ramban in Milchamos." He
then told me how many nights this Ramban disturbed his sleep.
"And you ate supper, you slept well at night and you ate
breakfast! You aren't embarrassed?" The words were
demanding.
About forty years ago Rebbetzin Gittel a'h was
hospitalized in Tel HaShomer hospital where she underwent
difficult treatment. Immediately after netz, I went
with Maran zt'l to the hospital. He had accepted upon
himself to fast that day. It was very hot and the entire day
he was pacing back and forth. When the doctors came out, he
asked them how the Rebbetzin was doing and then went back to
his thoughts.
He did not speak to me the entire day, twelve hours straight.
The heat was unbearable and even I could not stand on my
feet. The Ponevezher Rov zt'l came to visit, spoke to
Maran zt'l very briefly and left, telling me, "You
don't have to speak to him now, it's disturbing his
learning."
At night we went back home to Bnei Brak. As soon as we
arrived, Maran zt'l sat down at the table and started
to write a shtikel Torah on the Rambam perek
beis (or maybe perek hei) from Hilchos Malve
Veloveh. Beads of sweat dripped from his forehead.
Suddenly he said that he felt like he was going to faint and
asked for water.
Ki Vom Chiyisonu
A few decades ago, before he was to undergo a complicated
surgery, Maran zt'l was working on a gemora
about "a Kohen performed avodoh in tumoh
. . . pirchei kehuno take him out to the azoroh
and mefitzin es mocho."
After the surgery, while still under anesthesia, Maran
zt'l suddenly began to wave his hands fiercely and
wonder, "What's the pshat in mefitzin es mocho,
where was this halocho taken from?"
The medical apparatus became disconnected from him, and the
doctors were forced to tie his hands down. HaRav Dovid
Povarsky zt'l said then, "I knew that he was
shoku'a in learning. But I did not realize it was to
such an extent that even under anesthesia, he thought about
what he was learning previously."
Rav Yitzchok Zalaznik told me that the meetings of the
Moetzes Gedolei HaTorah were held in HaRav Isser Zalman
Meltzer's house. [In those days HaRav Shach was not a member
of the Moetzes, but] Maran zt'l used to come to the
house often to speak in learning with his uncle. When the
gedolim came for a meeting, Maran zt'l used to
leave the room and go to the seforim room, where he
sat and learned. He did not want to sit and listen to the
very interesting discussions. He was completely engrossed in
learning from head to toe, with all his heart and soul.
Did Maran zt'l ever tell you about his difficulties
as a yeshiva bochur?
One afternoon he came to yeshiva exhausted, and collapsed
into a chair. I asked where the Rosh Yeshiva was coming from
and he told me that he had walked from Givatayim. "There was
a levaya of a Yid there."
I asked who the Yid was and Maran zt'l told me
that he knew him from a village in which he had learned as a
bochur. I asked Maran zt'l if he couldn't have
traveled by bus? He answered, "The niftar deserved
that I go on foot. I'll tell you how I know him."
Maran zt'l then told me that when he was a
bochur [probably in 5675 (1915) or 5676 (1916)], he
sat in a beis medrash and learned. He related that for
many years he wore the same clothes and his shoes were full
of holes. "The toes used to stick out of the shoes.
"I could do without food," Maran zt'l related, "but at
night it was very cold. Other bochurim used to grab
the place near the stove, but I didn't. I used to lie on a
bench in bitter cold. One day, a Yid came in and gave
me an old coat to cover myself with, and from then on I had
it good. Today was the levaya of that Yid; he
deserves that I go by foot for him."
Maran zt'l related that he learned with Reb Aharon
Kotler zt'l for twelve years. "Then, I learned."
What is Wednesday?
The shiurim were his deepest concern. From Monday
afternoon no one could go into Maran zt'l, because he
was preparing his shiur for Tuesday. My apartment was
opposite his and I saw that on the nights before
shiur, he did not sleep. I once said to him in the
course of conversation something about Wednesday. He asked,
"What is Wednesday?"
I didn't understand the question. He explained, "I know two
days of the week: Tuesday, which is shiur day, and
Shabbos Kodesh."
The Rebbetzin a'h told me that after shiur he
had to change his clothes because they were soaked with the
sweat of rischo deOraisa. As an aside: On the day of
the shiur, Maran zt'l used to go to the
mikveh. There was a period in which I accompanied him
to the Chofetz Chaim mikveh.
To illustrate to what extent the shiur was in his soul
I'll tell the following story. During the change in
government in Eretz Yisroel [in 1977 when the Likud was
elected for the first time in the almost 30 years since the
founding of the State], there was a meeting to decide who the
chareidi representatives would support. The decision was left
to Maran zt'l. When he left the meeting, media
representatives, etc. were standing there, and there was
great excitement. I approached Maran zt'l and asked
him if the Rosh Yeshiva came out of the meeting pleased. He
said to me, "How can I be pleased -- I still don't have
shiur for Tuesday." This was on Thursday.
Uvelechtecho Baderech
Once, after an important meeting in Yerushalayim, a number of
communal activists were going to travel with Maran
zt'l to Bnei Brak. Maran zt'l valued his
precious time during the trip, but did not want to offend the
activists. So before he entered the car, he told everyone
that he enjoyed traveling because "my best shiurim, I
prepare on trips." They all understood the hint, and he spent
the trip completely engrossed in a sugya.
Even when Maran zt'l was talking to someone, he
himself was in another world. He said himself that he learned
how to speak to people and think in learning at the same
time!
Did he elaborate on this talent?
If I knew how he did it, I would also do it, as in "If I knew
him, I would be him." Someone who learns Torah lishmoh
and is active in communal affairs lishmoh is
zoche that there is no contradiction between the
two.
Maran's hasmodoh was unbelievable. One time he came
back from the hospital after tests, drained. His feet barely
carried him. He walked to the seforim shrank, took out
a gemora, put it on the table, and collapsed into
bed.
Toras Emes
Usually, a group of the best bochurim went to Maran
zt'l on Wednesday morning to talk to him about the
shiur. In one shiur, he said a pshat on
the Rashbo. The next day, a brilliant bochur came to
him and said a different pshat on the Rashbo. Maran
zt'l asked him to repeat himself a few times and then
called the group of bochurim and said, "Listen, the
pshat I told you yesterday on the Rashbo is a good
pshat, but the true pshat you'll hear from this
bochur."
He called the bochur by his name and said, "Zog.
Shemt zich nisht." (Say. Don't be embarrassed.)
In the middle of one shiur, a young bochur
asked a question that implied that the loshon of the
Tosafos was not like Maran's words. Maran zt'l
closed the gemora and said to the bochur, "You
are right."
Afterwards he told us, "Was it impossible to answer the
question? I could have answered it easily -- but it wouldn't
have been emes!" As the Chazon Ish zt'l wrote
to him in his famous letter, "Truth is very beloved to
him."
The first time Maran zt'l met the Chazon Ish
zt'l, the Chazon Ish told him, "We know you from your
shtikel Torah on Ha'anoko in Knesses
Yisroel [a Torah journal]." The Chazon Ish was very
impressed by the article. Is this a good approbation?
Definitely.
But when we compiled the sheets of the Avi Ezri with
Rav Shmuel Deutsch, Maran zt'l did not want to put in
the shtikel Torah that was published in Knesses
Yisroel. He said the words were not glatt to him.
I asked him, "Didn't the Chazon Ish like it?"
He answered, "True; but to me the words I wrote are not
glatt."
This is a high level of emes, and this is possible
only to someone whom "the truth is very beloved to him." This
emes accompanied Maran zt'l on all fronts. He
considered sheker the worst thing! If he ever caught
someone lying, he did not speak to him again.
@Bullet Section=Shemt Zich
The municipality of Bnei Brak gives out prizes for writing
Torah seforim. When Maran zt'l published a
volume of Avi Ezri, they offered him the prize. His
financial situation was very difficult but he refused to
accept the prize. The municipality really wanted Maran
zt'l to agree to accept the prize and they sent me to
speak to him about it. The list was to be completed on
Sunday, and they sent me to him on Friday.
Maran zt'l had a certain air of tranquility on
Fridays. When I went into him, he spoke to me tenderly and
sweetly and asked if I already covered the cholent.
When I merely mentioned the prize, he began to tremble and
screamed at me, "You should be embarrassed. This is what you
are offering? To take a prize for learning!? This is why I
learned? To get prizes? Aren't you embarrassed? This is what
you offer me on a Friday afternoon. Shemt zich! (You
should be ashamed!)"
(If I recall correctly, his eyes were streaming with tears. I
just remember the incident and am overcome with fear.) I told
him the name of a great talmid chochom, whom I knew
Maran zt'l admired, who took the prize. He dismissed
it with, "It was not ehrlich of him to do that."
A Punched Bus Card
When he became very weak in his later years, Maran
zt'l used to wonder what he would bring to Beis Din
Shel Ma'alo. Someone who frequented his house said, "What
about the Avi Ezri?"
He answered, "The Avi Ezri is a good sefer. But
I already had fame from it. You should know that anything
that is publicized in this world is not worth anything in the
next world." (I think he described something famous as having
the value of a fully punched-out bus card -- a
oisgeklapteh carteh.)
One time I was looking for Maran zt'l. I went to his
house and they told me he went to yeshiva. I went to yeshiva
and they told me he went home, and so forth a few times. The
Rebbetzin a'h said, "I think he has a kushyo."
That's why he came home to look in a sefer, went back
to yeshiva and then back home when he needed another
sefer.
"But I think," she continued, "that he already has a
teretz."
I asked her how she knew and she said that the last time he
came home, she saw him open a sefer and sigh in
relief. I went out to the street where I met Maran
zt'l. He immediately said to me, "Oy. I had a
shlechter tog, a hard day. I couldn't find the
pshat in gemora."
I asked him, "And how does the Rosh Yeshiva feel now?"
"Now much better."
Ahavoh Rabboh
The medrash says, "Rabbi Yochanan passed away. His
generation said of him -- If a man would give his entire
fortune for the ahava that Rabbi Yochanan loved the
Torah, it [the fortune] would be nothing!" (Medrash
Rabboh, Yayikro 30:1) Why does it say "his generation
said of him?" It would have been more fitting to say "the
eulogizer said of him." But, the entire generation stood,
watched and saw how Rabbi Yochanan loved the Torah to such an
extent that if a man would give his entire fortune, it would
be nothing in comparison.
Of Maran zt'l as well, everyone saw, the entire
generation saw his ahavas haTorah! I remember how
Maran zt'l stood on the street Shabbos morning,
stopped passersby and asked them to explain a shtikel
on the Ramban. There are many who love Torah, but many love
other things as well. Maran zt'l loved only Torah,
only the blatt gemora.
When HaRav Shmuel Deutsch was young, he complained to Maran
zt'l that he does not come up with chiddushim
while learning. "I am jealous of you," Maran zt'l told
him. "You can learn in peace, but I `get stuck' all the
time."
Maran zt'l continued, "If I were an ehrlicher
Yid, I would sit and learn all day in order; Eilu
metzi'os shelo ve'eilu chayov lehachriz, daf after
daf, one after the other."
About thirty years ago, Maran zt'l told me that he has
a proof that he is weakened. Until then he was not able to
fall asleep while in the middle of a sugya; his brain
continued working energetically. He had to take a break from
his sugya by learning a light sefer. "But
lately, I fall asleep while in the middle of a
sugya."
Torah in Taharoh
The focal point of his soul was Torah in taharoh, that
this corner of kedushoh remain clear and clean. There
was once a gathering for elementary school graduates. Maran
zt'l traveled there and spoke to the parents, urging
them to send their children only to institutions run al
taharas hakodesh. He described all the good that would
envelop them if their son would learn in a yeshiva
kedoshah.
This was his "essence" -- yeshiva kedoshah in
taharoh. Maran zt'l once said about the
Mashgiach zt'l that he was the biggest oved
Hashem he has ever seen. After the Mashgiach passed away,
Maran zt'l did not allow anyone to say
shmuessen in the place the Mashgiach said his
shmuessen. Maran zt'l trembled and said, "We
have to continue giving shmuessen, but in the
Mashgiach's place?!"
From then on, the shmuessen were not given in the
yeshiva's beis medrash. This is how he related to all
matters in the yeshiva kedoshah.
There was a well-founded suspicion that a certain institution
was going to hire a man who had false dei'os. Maran
zt'l and the Steipler zt'l wrote a letter
against the institution and instructed parents not to send
their children there. A certain talmid chochom met me
then and asked, "On what basis did they prohibit this
institution? After all, it is only a suspicion, without
proof."
I told him, "First of all the Rambam rules in many instances
"yir'eh li" (it seems to me), without any proofs from
the gemora, only based on his broad wisdom. Second of
all, I'll ask you a question: If the suspicion became reality
and that man became part of the institution's staff, would
you have slept at night?"
He answered yes.
I told him that this is the difference. Maran zt'l
would not have been able to sleep at night; even in a case of
sofeik, he wouldn't have slept at night!
I gave him a tangible example of a father who has fifteen
children. When one of them wakes up coughing at night, he's
taken care of with a "cover yourself better or take a drink."
But someone who has a ben yochid, when his son starts
coughing, both parents immediately run to his bed, take his
temperature and make a whole fuss. We treat yeshivos as the
fifteenth child, who comes after a wife, other children,
other matters. But to Maran zt'l, the yeshivos were
his ben yochid, and even a "little cough" upset him
greatly.
Bereishis Boro Elokim
Maran zt'l heard about a cheder that stopped
teaching the children parshas Bereishis, because it
was too difficult. Instead they started from parshas Lech
Lecho.
He called up and cried like a little boy, "You don't learn
Bereishis with the children?! If the Chofetz Chaim was
alive he would put you in cheirem! I am living from
the "Bereishis" of my kinderishe yuren
(childhood years)."
In response to the claim that children don't understand
parshas Bereishis, Maran zt'l asked, "And does
the principal of the cheder understand
Bereishis today?"
The question remains: How many Yidden sit and cry
because they heard that a certain cheder changed the
accepted way of teaching? Why don't others cry? Because for
them, Torah is the fifteenth child.
"Blessed is the One Who gave his world to watch guards." Who
are these watch guards? The devoted father to whom the Torah
is literally his ben yochid! He is the loyal watch
guard. This was the root of all of Maran's actions. When
someone tries to harm my ben yochid, I fight with all
my soul and might.
There is a vort from the Ksav Sofer on the
posuk, "Lema'an achai verei'ai adabro no sholom
boch; lema'an beis Hashem Elokeinu avaksho tov loch."
When one is dealing with personal matters, he speaks about
peace. But regarding matters of beis Elokeinu, he must
seek good -- that which is good for Hashem!
This is how Maran zt'l conducted himself. In his
personal matters, he was literally like a doormat. He once
helped a certain activist in a communal battle. After he won,
the activist came to Maran zt'l and offered to give
his granddaughter, who had recently gotten married, a job.
Maran zt'l was shocked and said, "I didn't ask for
this. I think it is an injustice! My granddaughter just got
married; there are families with children who need
livelihood. It is an injustice to put her before them."
I heard this story from the activist involved, who was very
surprised. He told me, "Many good people ask me to arrange a
job for their family members. I never saw this in my
life."
Both Old and Young
Maran zt'l taught Torah to everyone. He did not stay
in yeshiva during lunch hour and I thought that he went home
to eat and rest. Once I came to his house and saw that he was
sitting and learning with his grandsons, on a regular
basis.
For a long time, Maran zt'l used to say shiur
in Yeshiva Porat Yosef in Katamon, which was for very young
bochurim, bar mitzvoh age. Once he gave a shiur
about migo, and after the shiur he asked me if
the boys understood it. I told him that I didn't know, but in
any case the shiur itself had a good purpose. Maran
zt'l agreed, and he put in much effort to come time
after time.
He had a respected shiur in the respected yeshiva of
Ponovezh, and he traveled to Yerushalayim to say shiur
to young boys because it might be to a good purpose.
In general, Maran's devotion to his students was superlative.
Once a bochur, whose parents were not chareidi, got
into a fight with his parents. The bochur was at
fault. Maran zt'l had high fever then, and his son-in-
law, HaRav Bergman, told him in the course of conversation
that this bochur was walking around under the
apartment. Maran zt'l immediately got dressed and
started to go down to the bochur. The family tried to
stop him, of course, because he was sick. But Maran
zt'l insisted. He said, "I must speak to the
bochur."
They told him that they could call the bochur to come
up. Maran zt'l insisted on going down to him and
explained, "What can I say to this bochur? He did a
narishkeit. How can I help him? If they see in
Shomayim that I am exerting myself to go down to him,
maybe HaKodosh Boruch Hu will give me something to say
to him."
Maran zt'l was completely absorbed in Torah learning
and opposed luxuries. He did not understand why people had to
use many utensils to eat and why people made such a fuss over
eating. I was with him at many meals, and I never saw him
bend towards his food. His perishus from this world
was a result of his tremendous involvement in Torah. Even a
baal taava rests from his desires while under
anesthesia, but Maran zt'l thought in learning even
while under anesthesia. It is clear that the Torah
overpowered all other desires!
Maran zt'l once left the house of the Griz zt'l
and said the following: I don't know if I have Olam
Habo, but if I have it, it was already paid now when I
heard that shtikel Torah from the Brisker Rov.
We have no concept of the "ki vom chiyisonu" of Maran
zt'l -- it was to the depths of his soul.
