Chazal teach us that Rosh Hashonoh is Yom Hadin -- a
Day of Judgment, when our lives literally hang in the
balance. Our future is in the hands of the Beis Din Shel
Ma'aloh, the Heavenly Court.
As we stand on the threshold of a new year, we ought to
tremble with the same fear as one who faces trial for a
capital offense. We can readily imagine the impact of a human
court's decision. A guilty verdict and a harsh sentence would
be immediate, devastating blows. However since spiritual
matters are beyond our everyday experience, our lives
continue, seemingly unfazed by the approach of Rosh Hashana.
How are we to understand and overcome possible complacency at
this awesome time?
Studying mussar and reflecting on its lessons aids
tremendously in this pursuit. The essence of the
mussar movement is to bring ma'amorei Chazal to
life and to internalize them. Mussar is a guidebook to
direct us in living our lives and conducting ourselves
according to the Chachomim's teachings.
HaRav Yitzchok Blazer, affectionately known as Reb Itzele, in
Kochvei Ohr, an ethical work that focuses primarily on
the topic of teshuvoh and the Elul - Rosh Hashana -
Yom Kippur period, provides a fitting example from the
gemora (Avoda Zora 19b). Rav Alexandri called out,
"Who wants life?" Everyone came and said, "Give us life!" Rav
Alexandri said the posuk from Tehillim, "Mi
ho'ish hechofeitz chaim. . . - Who is the man who wants
life? - ... Netzor leshonecho meiro -- Guard your
tongue from evil."
This episode is intriguing. What was motivating Rav
Alexandri? He rallied the town's people together on the
pretext of providing an elixir of life and instead quoted a
posuk that they all certainly knew.
Reb Itzele explains that in fact he was teaching them a
valuable lesson. Everyone wants to live and will do almost
anything to prolong their life. In fact, the famous explorer
Ponce de Leon hazarded travel on the high seas in 1513, with
all the risks involved, to find the Fountain of Youth.
Any clear thinking person knows that a Fountain of Youth does
not exist. Yet the desire to live longer is so great that we
sometimes act irrationally. Even the most ludicrous claim, a
Fountain of Youth, and any kind of elixir and/or lotion, will
attract a crowd. Rav Alexandri simply reminds us that if we
are prepared to put our faith in dubious physical cures, how
much more so should we strive to fulfill this posuk in
Tehillim, which was written with Ruach
Hakodesh.
When we daven on Shabbos and say "Mi ho'ish
hechofeitz chaim?" we should stop and listen. Dovid
Hamelech is giving us the key to longevity and we should heed
his advice. "Netzor leshonecho meiro - - Guard your
tongue from evil." This is the true elixir of life.
Obviously, at this time when we are trying to merit chaim
we should endeavor to fulfill this posuk, which is
a zechus for life. However, we can go even further in
applying Reb Itzele's lesson. Just as the promise of a
physical cure can serve as a steppingstone to appreciating
the power of a posuk from Tehillim, so too the
analogy of a physical courtroom can help to prepare us for
the spiritual courtroom we face on the Yom Hadin.
The Mishna (Rosh Hashana 16a) states: On Rosh Hashana
everyone passes in front of Hashem for judgment individually.
Hashem could very easily judge us simultaneously, but He
wants each one of us to stand before Him alone. This way
there is nowhere for us to hide. There is no crowd to melt
into. We can't blame those around us for influencing us
negatively, nor can we compare ourselves to them and reason
that we are not so bad. We face Hashem alone. Ultimately this
means we must answer for our actions and be worthy on our
own.
Hashem can judge us at any time. He does not forget and has
no need for a Sefer Zichronos. Nevertheless, this is
the manner in which He has established His court. He only
judges us on Rosh Hashana and only after formally reviewing
our deeds. Knowing this about His court can enable us to
approach the Day of Judgment with the necessary
seriousness.
When one is on trial, he must have a defense. The more
serious the charges are, and the more evidence the
prosecution has compiled, the better his defense strategy
must be. One has to hire the best legal experts to plan his
defense. What will we say in our defense on Rosh Hashana?
What is our strategy to be judged meritoriously?
We can examine some common defense strategies to see if they
can be useful in our quest to be zocheh badin. This
defense planning will also help us appreciate the awesomeness
of the day.
One common line of defense is insanity. Can we also plead
insanity? Chazal say "Ein odom choteh eloh im kein nichnas
bo ruach shetus" -- at the time of the sin, the sinner
was overcome with a spirit of insanity. How is it possible
for a person instilled with knowledge and understanding to
commit a sin? He surely realizes that he will have to give an
account of his actions! But a shoteh is exempt from
judgment. Therefore, if at the time of the aveira
(sin) he is a shoteh, he should be exempt from
judgment. Someone who is at times sane and at others is not,
can be held responsible for his actions when sane and exempt
from responsibility for actions when insane. HaRav Chaim
Shmuelevitz endorses this insanity defense and says that
since we have no control when we commit a sin we can't be
held accountable.
However, he adds a serious caution. The gemara states
(Bava Basra 57b) that a person who travels and even
though there is another route, he intentionally uses a path
where he will be tempted to sin, is a rosho. The
Rashbam adds that even if he avoids sinning, he is still a
rosho. He should have distanced himself from the
aveiroh.
In this respect explains Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz, we are
culpable. We have to stay far away from nisyonos. Once
we are tempted, it will be extremely difficult not to
succumb. We have to know our weak points and not let
ourselves get into such a situation in the first place. We
all know our yetzer hora. Therefore we must protect
ourselves from the yetzer's trap. It is for this that
we are being judged. Did we in fact guard ourselves from
temptation?
Perhaps we can plead for leniency as a first time offender.
We were weak and gave in to our desires this one time and now
recognize the error of our ways and are remorseful. If we are
concerned with a first time offense this Rosh Hashana, then
maybe Hashem will deal with us with His attributes of mercy
and compassion.
But how many of us can say we have succumbed to a particular
sin only once? Such an individual is extremely rare.
When we stumble, it is usually an oft repeated, even daily,
offense. Whether it's being careful not to speak or listen to
loshon hora or talking during davening or the
Torah reading, there are many mitzvos she'anoshim doshim
ba'akeivoseihem (mitzvos that we treat
lightly).
And what about bad middos? Whether anger or arrogance
or other bad middos, they have become so much a part
of our nature that they constantly affect our conduct. If we
reflect on it, we can all find many areas in which we need
improvement. So we cannot honestly say we are first time
offenders.
Can we plead self-defense, or self-preservation? We want to
spend more time learning Torah, but we need a livelihood.
While it is a great responsibility to provide for one's
family, it is equally imperative to find time to learn.
On Shabbos when the working week is behind us, we should
certainly set aside time to learn. And if we can manage to
find time each day in our busy schedules to eat two or three
meals, we can surely also find a little time for Torah. We
know we need to eat, so we make time for meals. Our souls
also need nourishment. The Torah is the tree of life, it is
real living. The reason we need parnossa is to sustain
ourselves in order to do Hashem's will and He wants us to
learn Torah.
The gemora (Brochos 17a) asks, "How are ladies
zocheh? How do they merit a portion in the world to
come?" In response we find that they earn a special
zechus for taking their children to school to learn
and for allowing and encouraging their husbands to learn, as
well as for waiting for them to come home. Ladies of course
do many mitzvos. What then is the special significance of
sending their children and husbands to learn?
The answer is that Torah is the ticket to gain entry to
Olam Habo. One can do many mitzvos but one still needs
the zechus of Torah.
If women, who are exempt from learning and who may have large
responsibilities to their families, still need the merit of
Torah to be zocheh, then certainly men do. Pleading
self-defense is no defense. We need to find the actual time
to learn.
Why don't we just admit our guilt? There is a mitzva to say
vidui. Let us confess our sins and ask Hashem for
forgiveness.
However, the halacha is that we do not confess on Rosh
Hashana. This is a discussion in and of itself but suffice to
say, this is not an option for Rosh Hashana.
So what is left to plead? The only remaining option is to
declare: "Not guilty! We didn't do it!"
We have to repent now, before Rosh Hashana during the days of
Elul and Selichos. Then we can face the Heavenly
Tribunal on Rosh Hashana with a clean slate for we will truly
be free of sin.
Although we have until Yom Kippur to do teshuvoh, we
know that Rosh Hashana is the kesivoh and Yom Kippur
is the chasimoh. Rosh Hashana can be compared to the
trial and Yom Kippur to an appeal. If we don't win the trial
then we can always appeal. However, it is surely better to
win the trial and not need to appeal.
Therefore we must try our best to emerge victorious from the
trial and the only way to do so is with teshuva. If we
do a proper teshuva, our sins will not only be erased
but they will actually become merits for us so that we can
honestly declare "Not guilty!"
This is a little difficult to understand. We know that Hashem
can forgive an aveiroh but how can it become a mitzva?
Im kein, yehei choteh nischar -- a sinner will be
better off than one who was never guilty of an
aveiroh.
Teshuvoh is not only receiving forgiveness and
atonement, it's returning to Hashem, becoming closer to Him.
Hashiveinu Ovinu lesorosecho vekorveinu Malkeinu
la'avodosecho -- Bring us back, Our Father, to Your
Torah, and draw us close, Our King, to Your service! Our
tefillos affirm that teshuvoh brings us close
to Hashem.
Teshuvoh is compared to cleaning a garment. When one
buys a new suit, it looks clean and bright. Over time it
loses its luster. Still, if it doesn't actually become dirty,
we may not clean it. Eventually though, if it does get
stained we wash it thoroughly and the entire suit soon has a
new look again. However, if it had not gotten dirty in the
first place we may never have thought to clean it.
It's the same with us. There are times when we feel very
motivated. We hear an inspiring shiur or we experience
certain events that awaken within us the desire to serve
Hashem with more enthusiasm. But as time goes by we revert
back to our old ways. We lose our "luster." If we then commit
a sin, this might serve to remind us that we are not
fulfilling our potential. Through the aveiroh, we see
how far we have sunk. We remember the goals we set for
ourselves and this brings us back to Hashem.
(This is how the Sefas Emes explains the posuk
in Megillas Esther: "Uvechein ovoh el hamelech asher lo
kedas. Hamelech in the Megilla also refers to
Hashem -- Melech Malchei Hamelochim. I will come close
to Hashem sheloh kedas, through an aveiroh, by
repenting with love.)
In conclusion, we all know that in the afterlife our entire
life is going to be shown to us. There will be a "video" of
our lifetime. What happens to the aveiroh when we do
teshuvoh? Isn't it still on the video? With today's
advanced digital technology it is easy for us to imagine. A
picture can be altered with the click of the mouse.
Afterwards one cannot tell that it has been manipulated. All
the more so, Hashem can alter the "videos" of our lives to
fit in line with our teshuvoh. By envisioning our
upcoming trial with Hashem and preparing ourselves to face
Him, may we all be zocheh to a kesivoh vechasimoh
tovah.
