How often do you hear a mother complain abut a small child,
"He doesn't eat a thing"? Every normal child is born with the
ability to suck. It is a predictable instinct. In the animal
kingdom, there is no such thing as an eating disorder. All
animals instinctively search for food.
So what happens to a child who does not want to eat? Mother
coaxes, tells stories, tries to distract him while popping
food into his mouth, threatens or bribes, all seemingly to no
avail. These children often eat in an aunt's house or at a
grandparent's table. It is as if they are using food as a
weapon against their parents. However, they often refuse food
altogether, and just snack on junk if it is available. Some
parents believe that their child has no access to food apart
from what he is offered at home. If the child goes to a
playgroup or school, they may be mistaken.
Why did this normal healthy baby begin to refuse food? Perhaps
he was offered solids which were not to his liking. Instead of
removing the food immediately and trying again the next day,
Mother tried to coax or even force him to eat, hoping he would
get used to it. Perhaps he was off his food for some weeks,
which is often the case with young children. They may be
teething, have a fungus in their mouth etc. and they only want
bottles and nothing else, and Mother tried to make him eat
something. Alternatively, he may have been ill for a while and
could only tolerate fluids, and again, a loving, worried
mother tried to make him take "just a little bit, darling."
Whatever the case, the child is not eating.
It was in about 1948 in America, where, unlike Europe which
was still rationing food after the second World War, there had
hardly been any food shortages. A large clinic was set up for
severely emotionally disturbed children and for extremely bad
eaters. People in despair brought children of all ages, from
far and near. Mothers would come in with an often smug little
girl or boy in tow and announce to the matron, "Judy hasn't
eaten a thing all weekend, have you, darling?" Or "Mike
promised not to throw his dinner on the floor again today,
didn't you?"
The staff used every gimmick and ruse at their disposal. The
children, sittng at tables of four or six, helped themselves
from central serving dishes onto plates which had pretty
pictures on them. They were observed at mealtimes, through one
way-glass. One day, the matron had a flash of inspiration. She
noticed that at one table of four, the children were all
devouring their food as if they hadn't eaten for a week. There
was no sign of any reluctance to eat. She looked up the
children's records and found that three of them had been
brought in a few days earlier because of disturbed behavior.
"Why, I've missed the obvious," Matron thought.
The next day, Johnny was moved to a different table. the staff
was told to ignore the children at that table, who had all
been admitted to the clinic with a severe aversion to all
food. They placed the food on the tables in bowls. Meat,
potatoes, another vegetable and drinks in individual glasses.
Johnny looked at his apathetic neighbors, stretched out a hand
and took the potatoes. "Nobody wants these?" he asked, and
proceeded to eat the contents of the bowl. He made short work
of the meat and vegetables, then had his drink. He started
taking his neighbor's drink when there was a howl of protest.
"Teacher, Johnny is taking my drink."
"Drink it yourself, then, if you want it," replied the teacher
laconically. It took Johnny just one week to cure those three
children of their antipathy towards food and another week to
instill into them a healthy attitude of eating at mealtimes.
It took him six months to eat his way round the entire
clinic!
Children on the whole like to conform. I have had children
staying at my house who washed and sat down to eat with
healthy appetities when they saw all the other children doing
so. Their parents did not believe that they had eaten without
any fuss. Unfortunately, they voiced their doubts in front of
the child.
"What? He ate all the crusts of the bread? But he never eats
crusts at home!" He never will, either, after hearing that! If
a plate of food is left on a chair where a small child can
reach it, he will, in all likelihood, eat the very same food
which he spurned a few hours earlier. As long as eating or not
eating does not become an issue, the child will not attach
much importance to it.
There are certainly some children, as there are adults, who
have smaller appetites than others. They prefer to eat modest
portions, more frequently. There are some children who will
eat anything placed in front of them, while others have more
fastidious taste buds. There are still others who are not
adventurous. They will not taste food with which they are not
familiar.
I am convinced that parental attitudes have a lot to do with
the children's feelings about food. If a mother shudders at
the thought of milk puddings, it is small wonder that her
children are not very keen on them. One cannot force children
to eat. They will either gag or spit, or keep the food in
their mouth for hours on end. However, it is a rare child who
will not eat fresh challa or even fresh bread. If junk
food is kept to a minimum in the house, and fruit and
vegetables are left around, the child will help himself to a
balanced diet. It does not really matter if he refuses all
cooked vegetables. He may like nibbling on raw carrot or
celery sticks. Especially if he thinks nobody is watching! If
he is one of those who is not interested in fruit, cut up a
few segments of orange or apple and leave them on the table.
Nuts are a valuable source of protein.
If you already have a problem, relax about it. Research has
shown that apart from anorexics, who are a subject unto
themselves, children do not starve themselves. So leave them
to it, although it may be terribly frustrating to cook good
meals with care and find they get left. In some families, even
large families, loving mothers cook for each child according
to his or her taste. They are kind mothers, but is it worth
it?
