There is nothing quite like the wonderful feeling of doing chessed.
Of doing something worthwhile and important for others less fortunate than
we. There's an afterglow of being a giver rather than a taker, of "walking
in Hashem's ways" and trying to emulate Him: as He gives with an open,
bountiful hand, so we too try to do.
It is good to be a Jew and to have so many opportunities of sharing, giving
and of doing for others.
I mean, think of that wonderful feeling of having one or two huge bags of
old clothes or toys standing by your front door, ready to give away to
those less fortunate. It's a good feeling, no? Especially if it follows an
hour or two spent having gone through stuffed closets and drawers!
Exhilirating! Space for the next batch...
You know, come to think of it, there may be an even more wonderful feeling.
That feeling of calling my tzaddekes friend A.H. and telling her that
I have a huge bag of clothes/toys waiting here by my front door for her and
her distribution to the worthy poor of Jerusalem.
And d'you know what gives me an even better feeling than all of the
above?
You guessed it -- getting that huge bag/s OUT of my house! That means that
I have finished my good deed and I am through. And my house is now neat and
organized.
However, unfortunately, once in a while I hit a snag, one of the medium-
sized irritating irritants.
An example? I call my tzaddekes friend on a Monday and she says,
"Sorry, I can't come today. I'll try to come on Wednesday." Even worse, "I
can't come this week. You'll need to hold it over till after Shabbos."
Now this is QUITE an inconvenience. I mean, there is this huge bag of
clothes/toys just sitting on the floor in my living room. Doing nothing but
taking up space. And providing a perfect venue for the toddlers to enjoy an
orgy of afternoon making-a-mess that will have-to-be-picked-up afterwards
by Savta. Day after day for a week.
But my tzaddekes friend is constantly busy doing mitzvos so
what can I say? With a touch of peeve, I'll answer, "O.K. But please
come as soon as you can." Implying: who knows what will be in a few days
and maybe you'll lose the great opportunity of getting this stuff to the
poor!
It is rare that I have to remind her and after a second call she always
does arrive, apologizing. She'll take the huge bags, carry them to her home
two blocks away (she doesn't drive) and up the two flights (no elevator).
Rarely do I even consider that SHE is the one doing ME the favor. Indeed,
why should she bother? Isn't it enough that she sorts the clothing into
sizes and gender and stands there at the service of her `clients'?
And I? I get the dividends: the mitzvos of giving charity, clothing
the poor and making them happy, not wasting -- in addition to the fact that
my closets and drawers are cleared out.
And yet I feel put out if she doesn't come to pick up my discards and
leftovers. What colossal, unmitigated, unbelievably audacious presumption
on my part! I never stopped to ask what time of day is good for her, only
when is good for ME. I never thought about how she manages to squeeze in
cooking and cleaning, shopping and child-rearing, babysitting and just
simply living, with all the pickups she must have.
So now I've learned a tremendous secret about charity: how important it is
to help the people who are DOING these mitzvos for us, to make it
easier for them.
So, now I launder my clothes before packing them. I sew on missing buttons,
realizing that I probably have more time than some poor overworked mother
with children and without money. And a garment with a missing button can
sit for weeks. I know that. [Maybe that's why I gave the others away last
time...]
I no longer toss shoes into the bag but wipe them clean with a paper towel,
rubber band them or tie them together where possible. [And make sure they
don't smell.] I certainly don't give shoes beyond repair. There must be
many other hints for giving away clothing in a sensible, caring way. But
the really important one is to actually BRING them to the distributor!
It's heavy? You don't have a car? Catch this idea -- call a cab or a
friend! Cab delivery is very easy: load it up, print the phone and address
of the destination, as well as the sender, on a paper, and pay the driver
in advance. Call the destinaire so s/he will be prepared to receive it. And
take the driver's number down, just in case! [An alternate suggestion: pay
your or a neighbor's child to deliver by bus or baby carriage. Many
children will be glad to oblige for the reward of an ice cream.]
So now I am no longer peeved when my bags sit in my living room because I
know it's up to me. I call my tzaddekes friend only to let her know
to expect the things. And this way, we both get a big mitzva.
