"And you shall love Hashem your G-d . . . and with all your
soul -- Rashi: Even if He claims your soul . . . "
Rabbenu Elozor Azkari zy'o explains in Sefer
HaChareidim, chapter 9, that the commandment of "With all
your soul" is a daily exercise. "One should ponder it when he
recites the Shema and reaches the words "bechol
nafshecho" and "bechol nafshechem." He should also
be fully prepared that if such an opportunity (of
relinquishing his soul and possessions) presents itself to
him, he should be able to do so willingly, even joyfully,
like R' Akiva and the sons of Chana.
"[By conjuring this up as he prays daily], he is credited
with having actually done so in practice. This is what is
referred to in the verse, `For we have been killed for Your
sake every day; we have been regarded as sheep designated to
the slaughter.' Is it possible for a person to be killed
every day? Rather, Hashem credits tzaddikim as if they
truly submitted themselves to the slaughter every single day.
Indeed, in their hearts, they are fully prepared for this.
This follows what is taught in Zohar, Parshas Tzav:
`Repent a day before your death.' How? Every day, a person
should prepare to transmit his soul to his Maker.
"Maseches Brochos tells how R' Akiva was taken out to
be killed precisely when it was time to recite the Shema.
The Romans raked his flesh with iron prongs but he
accepted the torture with love and concentrated his whole
attention to declaring his allegiance and love to Hashem.
Seeing him thus, his disciples asked, "Rabbenu -- to such an
extent [is one required to show love]?" He replied, "All my
days I was troubled over this verse of bechol
nafshecho which requires that we love Hashem even if He
is claiming our soul. And now that the opportunity to fulfill
this commandment actually presents itself to me -- should I
not do so with alacrity?' And as he came to `echod,'
his soul departed."
The question arises if one can actually think such thoughts
in a pragmatic way. How can one gauge one's future reaction
to such a test and be convinced that when the time comes, he
will truly relinquish his soul joyfully? When one is taken up
with the effervescence of life, can he possibly conjure up a
vivid, lifelike situation of self- sacrifice? The end of self
existence? The author of Yesod veShoresh Ho'avoda
repeatedly describes how one must graphically imagine a fire
raging all the way up to Heaven and he, prepared to leap into
the flames at any/every given moment. All for the love of
Hashem.
But the light-year distance which separates that exalted
tzaddik and us restores the original question to the
fore. Is it possible? Can one honestly depict this scenario
in one's mind? For if not, he is declaring a falsehood, and
Hashem abhors liars; they cannot exist in His presence.
Along came R' Aharon Kotler zt'l and taught: "With all
your soul -- this is to be translated as `if you will it with
your soul.' If you so wish. From here we learn that the
principle significance of the commandment of bechol
nafshecho is that one should want to love Hashem
with all his soul. When this is one's primary all-absorbing
aspiration, then it naturally follows that one is prepared to
nullify any conflicting wish. It is a simple consequence, a
natural result. To want so, so much that even life itself is
valueless within that context. And such a thing exists; it
has been proven.
*
This interpretation enables a quick and ever-ready test of
one's preparedness for executing the ultimate degree of
bechol nafshecho. That test is not necessarily on the
rack of the Inquisition, for according to that outlook, the
ultimate self-sacrifice is not at the point of death, the
willingness to die for one's faith. This is not a theoretical
surrender-sacrifice which is, of course, the final test,
`even [to the point] when He requisitions your soul,' but the
entire in between range of action leading to that climax.
`With all your soul' means with all the driving force that
you possess, with your full willpower at any given moment,
your constant preparedness to render and surrender your be-
all unto Hashem and perform His will. You must be
capable of uprooting any subsidiary wishes and inclinations,
overt or covert, and sacrifice them upon the altar of your
love for Hashem. Everything for His sake, for your love for
Him.
The conflict and surrender involves an ongoing, daily
struggle, almost minute by minute. Overcoming one's
difficulties, discomfort, conflicting wills that pull a
person in directions other than that of "And you shall love .
. ." The self restraint and sublimation of self interests
for, as opposed to the forces tugging against.
This is an active, ongoing sacrifice and not the theoretical
preparedness of surrendering one's soul to death. It is much
more than the conjured pyre of immolation in one's
imagination but is rather a veritable fire burning in one's
bones, the fire that consumes one's natural laziness and
inhibitions. It is a sacrificial act of the soul's very
lifeblood.
This concept is elaborated upon in Tzidkas Hatzaddik
(p. 197) as follows: "`With all your soul' means with those
things to which a person feels attached, heart and soul. Like
at the giving of the Torah, where `My soul swooned when He
spoke . . . ' The spiritual pull was too strong for a mortal
being to contain. Chazal similarly explained the verse,
`Nefesh ki sakriv -- when a person [soul] sacrifices'
to mean the very soul which a poor man offers up when he
brings a sacrifice. His offering may be meager, but it
incorporates his very soul.
"We also find that the poor man's prayer is called
nefesh, soul, as we find by the barren Chana, `And I
poured out my soul.' Her longing for a child was so totally
absorbing that it became her very essence, her life and soul.
This is the degree of love which we must also feel for
Hashem. This is the means and method of carrying out the
ongoing obligation of loving Hashem with all one's soul, in
daily life. We must develop such a love that will encompass
every drive and will within our makeup and sublimate them to
a consuming love for Hashem's Torah and commandments. We must
live a life with a love developed for Torah and yearning for
true G-d- fear. If we live thus, we will not have to struggle
constantly with those drives that tug in opposite directions,
wills that conflict with the true will. Rather, our will, our
soul's desire, will naturally be attuned to the right
channels so that the choice will be natural, and not a matter
of deliberation each time, with the good overcoming the base,
natural propensity.
"When R' Akiva was led to his death, it was time to recite
the Shema. The Romans raked his flesh with iron prongs
but he was occupied with declaring his allegiance of the
Heavenly Kingdom. His disciples asked, "Rabbenu -- to such an
extent [is one required to show love]?" He replied, "All my
days I was troubled over this verse of bechol
nafshecho which requires that we love Hashem even if He
is claiming our soul. And now that the opportunity to fulfill
this commandment ultimately presents itself to me -- should I
not do so with alacrity?'" (Brochos 61).
HaRav Mordechai Mann zt'l explains away the disciples'
wonder. To such an extent? Is a mortal being actually capable
of surrendering himself so totally -- with perfect equanimity
and joy -- when his very flesh is being mortified to death?
Is such a thing possible?
And he replied: Do you then think that this degree of
sacrifice has been attained in one split second, only at the
verge of death? And that in one instant I could rise to such
a height and sustain my endurance? Not at all. I have enacted
this very moment every day of my life. I lived a life of
bechol nafshecho, of sacrificing myself upon such an
occasion. It was an ongoing reality, a long process of
sacrificing my will for the sake of my love for Hashem! Is it
then surprising that after such a long preparation, an
extended internment, that when the real moment of testing
arrives that I not be fit and ready? My life has been leading
up to this very climax! And now that it is here, I am fully
prepared and able to stand up to the test.
