The new sefer
A new sefer called Kol Mishalosecho has a wealth of answers to questions that were asked of HaRav Chaim Kanievsky shlita, with long answers to many of them. Here are a select few of the many stories and insights of the Sar Torah of our generation.
Part 3
Ma'aser Gelt
Shabbos Kodesh Devorim, Av 4th, 57663
Rabbenu lay down to rest and said to me: "A nice story happened this week. Someone came to me, distressed over mice in his home. I advised him according to the Yerushalmi in Demai 4 that such things come because of negligence in setting aside trumos uma'asros, and told him to be careful in separating ma'aser from everything.
Nonetheless, he came back and said that this did not help. I told him to scrupulously set aside ma'aser from money earned and he stated that he did so properly. I suggested that perhaps he lived on the ground floor, in which case it is commonplace for mice to infest a home. He said that he lived on the fifth floor. I had nothing else to suggest!
He came again and said that he separated ma'aser over a coin set aside for this through the Keren Hama'asros. I considered telling him to stop using the coin from the Keren, perhaps they had forgotten to arrange this agreement properly, which sometimes happens with a public fund.
A few days later, the answer came to light. He came and told me that he actually used the coin of his father-in-law, not knowing that the Keren Hama'asros did not sanction this. As soon as he changed this, he came back to tell me that the mice had disappeared.
What connection could the issue of money ma'aser have with mice? A mouse infests a house because the food there is not tithed, but how does this apply to tithing money?
From the promise in the Torah of "asser ta'asser," give a tithe and you will be enriched, we can also infer the commandment of tithing money.
Can one separate ma'aser money and give it to a gemach, or must it be given directly to the poor?
Even though gemilas chessed is considered more important than charity per se, still, ma'aser is particularly intended to be given to the poor. The Chofetz Chaim permits giving the money to a gemach only on a temporary basis. (See further in Derech Emunah on the laws of gifts to the poor, chap. 7:27).
Maran Accepted Charity Money from Jews
Maran said to me: Abba did not want to accept money gifts as is an accepted practice by Admorim, considering this to be outright theft or deception since the givers believe that the latter's blessings have power, "but I know the truth!"
He added: I also do not accept money gifts except for charitable purposes. The reason I sometimes agree to accept these sums is because the givers designate the money for charity, and if I did not accept that money, they might not end up giving it for that purpose, even though it falls into the category of a vow...
A Story From the Rebbetzin
Upon occasion, I spoke to Maran about a severe discrepancy in interpersonal relations. The Rebbetzin was in the room and told the following:
When her daughter was studying in the Rav Wolf seminary, a smell of garbage once wafted into the classroom. The student noted to her seatmate that one could not recite a bracha because of it. The teacher mistakenly thought that the student had said that the odor came from the teacher herself and sent her out of the classroom, stating that she could not return without a note from her mother and the principal. No amount of explanation or apology that she had not said anything uncomplimentary helped. Her daughter was deeply humiliated.
On the following day, the home room teacher saw a note in the roll book not to admit that student without said note. After several days of absence, she returned to the class.
Fifteen years passed when one day, my daughter received a call from that teacher, who was still single, and was afraid that a grudge was being borne against her, and wanted to ask forgiveness. My daughter forgave her and within a week, she became engaged.
The Husband is Obligated to Give In
I told Maran about a couple who was suffering marital disharmony and was on the verge of a divorce.
Maran said: People today don't know how to behave. One must give in, time and again. Most often, the argument revolves around something negligible and silly. Since it is more difficult for a woman to concede, it falls upon the husband to be the one to do so. It usually starts from a word she said that he took affront to but a ben Torah should know that it is his job to give in.
The Midrash Rabba (Nosso 9:2) discusses the Sotah and says, "The Torah comes to teach you that you should be a vatran, one who yields. Did wine spill, give in [and don't make an issue of it], the same applies to oil spilled, a garment that was torn etc. but if you heard something said against your wife, rise up like a man!"
The Midrash explains that in all matters pertaining to worldly, material things, one should concede, but when it comes to spiritual issues, one should stand up and be a man.
The Head of the Israeli Mafia
I said to my father: HaRav Shlomo Levenstein once told the following: The head of the Mafia in Acco became very ill and had to have his foot amputated. The second foot also had to be removed. His condition deteriorated to the point that he only had a few weeks more to live.
Suddenly, the local Rav received a telephone from him asking that he come immediately. The Rav was terrified and tried to evade him. The gangster sent a message to the effect that: No one argues with me. He went. The patient said to him: I want you to come at six tonight to officiate at my marriage because I want to remarry my divorced wife.
The Rav understood that he had forced the woman into marrying him, for who would have done so willingly?
The Rav said: Marriage under coercion has no validity.
Said the gangster: Don't worry, the marriage is performed willingly. I gave her ten million shekel (around $3 million).
The Rav then asked: You are approaching your death. Why did you spend such a huge sum for that?
He replied: Do you think that I forgot what my mother taught me as a child? She said that a chosson is pardoned all of his sins, and I am now about to die. That is worth ten million shekel.
That Rav asked HaRav Nissim Karelitz if the gangster would indeed be forgiven all of his past sins. HaRav Karelitz answered: "I do not know if he will be forgiven, but he will certainly be rewarded for being willing to spend ten million shekels to have his sins forgiven."
HaRav Chaim Kanievsky answered: He will be forgiven - if he does teshuvoh.
The source for the insight is what happened with Eisov (who married another wife who was called by the Torah Machalas). That was also his second marriage as the Yerushalmi says (Bikkurim Perek 3, 3). Did Eisov the Rosho really do teshuvoh?
In the medrash (Bereishis Rabbah 67) it says that Eisov had thoughts of teshuvoh at that time. As far as the schar of this gangster, he will certainly get a reward for his thoughts and desire. Even if he accomplished nothing, for his thoughts and the money he spent, he will get a reward.
HaRav Chaim and the Author
Supporting Torah Despite Suffering
A certain rabbi complained that he donated many buildings to yeshivas and they have no hakoras hatov. For example in one case he had donated a building to a yeshiva and then when he wanted them to accept a bochur who was pretty good though not outstanding, they did not agree to accept him. Where is their hakoras hatov?
On another occasion, someone learned with him bechavrusa, but when they stopped paying him, he suddenly had no time to learn with him.
They are doing you a favor. Because of this you will get the entire reward in Olam Haba. And even more so, the fact that you have tza'ar from their conduct towards you will add to the reward for the mitzvah.
