This was first published in 2003 in the print edition of Yated Ne'eman. It was not published on the Internet.
Fasting and Praying for the Future
The gemora (Bava Metzia 85) relates, "Rav Yosef underwent forty fasts and [from Heaven] they read out the posuk (Yeshayohu 59:21), 'They [divrei Torah] will not move away from your mouth,' to him. He underwent another forty fasts and they read out, 'They will neither move away from your mouth nor from the mouths of your children.' He underwent a further forty fasts. He came and they read to him, 'They will neither move away from your mouth nor from the mouths of your children nor from the mouths of your children's children'. He said, 'From here on, I do not need [to make any further endeavors because] Torah returns to its previous lodgings'."
This seems strange. Are fasts and self-inflicted suffering on the part of early generations the way to ensure Torah's continued fulfillment by their descendants? We are well acquainted with the principle, "Everything is determined by Heaven, except for the fear of Heaven." The only way to acquire Torah is through hard work and effort, which each individual must make for himself. How can a father's fasts help Torah stay with his son and grandson?
Further consideration will show that in fact, this is absolutely accurate. The sight of a father or grandfather fasting, worrying, or shedding tears in prayer that the love of Torah and the fear of Heaven should remain the lot of his children and of their children, makes a powerful and deep impression upon the soul of a child or grandchild. It is in a child's nature to consider his parents' thoughts and feelings with reverence. Witnessing his father's remorse, hearing his sighs and seeing him shed tears over future generations' continued love of Torah and occupation with it, elevates Torah's value in a child's eyes. Subconsciously, the child relies upon and will adopt his father's estimation of Torah's worth and sublimity and this has consequences. A father's honest and profound concern will permanently resonate within the hearts of his children and grandchildren, binding them more firmly to Torah, which will remain with them.
This was what Rav Yosef fasted and prayed for. He demonstrated his great concern and deep desire for Torah's continuation, to his offspring and to his disciples. Once there is a solid and secure foundation of three generations, Torah will always return to where it previously found a home. Genuine, heartfelt prayer and the fasting and concern of parents and grandparents will always bear fruit.
No Hope
Chazal point to the same phenomenon working in the opposite way. The gemora (Rosh Hashonoh 17) tells us, "Any leader who imposes unwarranted awe upon the community, not for the sake of Heaven, will not have a talmid chochom among his offspring, as the posuk (Iyov 37:24) says, 'Therefore, he whom people fear will not see anyone of wise heart [among his offspring]'. "
Here too one could ask, what has the son of an overbearing leader done to deserve a fate so serious as being denied the light of Torah? The answer is that the son is not being punished for another person's shortcomings. We are again dealing with the unfortunate consequences of the way in which he was raised. Here too, we see that a child's view of his father is the crucial factor in determining his fundamental spiritual orientation.
A child may be learning Torah but its effect on him will be wiped out by a father's damaging personal example. If he witnesses an antagonistic and brazen attitude on his father's part; if he sees him wielding power unnecessarily in order to intimidate others, hounding talmidei chachomim and behaving coarsely towards them; if he sees his father elevating himself over all the worthy folk who are subservient to him and debasing the Divine image that they all bear - if such is the example before him, a child will lose any crumbs of Torah that he might have picked up.
Superficially, the father's intention might seem to be worthy: to impose control and maintain necessary order and decorum [and he may also have convinced himself of this]. However, once he allows himself that little extra swagger in his dealings with others, among whom are talmidei chachomim, bnei Torah and men of good deeds, he is in effect damaging himself. His son will be unable to relate to those talmidei chachomim with the proper measure of respect. Where there is no respect for talmidei chachomim, Torah itself suffers, even though people may be engaged in studying it. The father's tiny extra measure of brazenness and coarseness is amplified in his son, to the extent that it becomes impossible for him to grow up into a genuine talmid chochom. This "punishment" is no more than a natural consequence of the father's failure to grasp the elements of child rearing. His despising talmidei chachomim leads to his son's despising them even more. Where there is no respect, there is no Torah whatsoever.
Our Challenge
This principle is of great concern to us in our interactions with our own children and talmidim. If in our daily conduct we positively demonstrate our willingness to actually sacrifice ourselves for the mitzvoh of learning Torah, it will have an effect on our charges and the cry will issue from their lips, "We are also ready to go through life following your example!"
We must show our readiness to sacrifice every resource at our disposal and even ourselves in order to sanctify Hashem. If a parent or teacher truly wants to convey the reliable, trustworthy approach to keeping the Torah's mitzvos, it is not enough to speak the routine, tepid language of "Do this" and "Don't do that". Every kind of learning must be accompanied by personal example and by demonstrating that, "Are My words thus not [compelling and searing] like fire?" (Yirmiyohu 23:29). To truly teach and to inspire one must figuratively cast oneself into the fire and point out, "See this example and emulate it!" (see Rashi, Shemos 12:2). If a father or teacher sanctifies himself in all his dealings with his child or disciple, the holiness that he thereby instills will last forever. Genuine, unadorned self-sacrifice on the part of the educator is the sole determinant of the spiritual mettle of education.
If an educator really wants to instill love of Torah into his charges, he must set a personal example of love of Torah in his daily life for example, by maintaining regular times for learning and sticking to them. There are numerous virtuous and refined traits that we wish to implant within our children and our talmidim. Among them are maintaining a pleasant countenance, being concerned with and sharing the burden of others' troubles, empathizing with the suffering of the poor and downtrodden, inspiring the low spirited with joy and enthusiasm and willingly forgoing money and honor when a situation demands it. Our youthful charges will not absorb these traits unless their educator/ parent/ rebbe demonstrates them, with both material and personal resources. Only examples of the "coin of fire" type (see Rashi, Shemos 30:13,) will make enough of an impression on a youngster to keep him or her directed along the correct path throughout life.
HaRav Zaitchik was one of the foremost talmidim of the Alter of Novardok.
