"You cannot educate a child with lies"
Rebbetzin R. Kaufman was well-known in Bnei Brak for her
devotion to children with educational problems. She had a G-d-
given talent to deal with problems of this nature, and the
Chazon Ish would sometimes refer children to her.
There was one child who grew up in her house, who had a good
heart but behaved in a very odd way. For example, he only
agreed to bentsch if the tablecloth would also "eat"
and he would proceed to spread butter on the tablecloth. At
first Rebbetzin Kaufman would not accede to his request, but
eventually she decided that it was not possible to let the
child go without food. She would often go to the Chazon Ish
for advice on educational matters and on one such occasion
she told him about the problem with the child. She claimed
that the child in any case did not understand.
The Chazon Ish told her: "You have to tell him only the
truth. You cannot educate a child with lies." (A tablecloth
does not eat). She tried to argue with him, but the Chazon
Ish would not change his mind. One of the Rebbetzin'
Kaufman's grandsons who was present at that meeting,
pretending not to understand, asked, "From where should the
truth come?" The Chazon Ish gently replied, "The truth has to
come from the inside!"
That boy touched the heart of the Chazon Ish as if he was his
only child, and he invested a lot in him, as he did with all
children who had special educational needs, more than with
mainstream children. (From Mr. Avner Fuchsman)
"To educate a child to mitzvos, not to chilul
Shabbos"
Mr. Shraga Spitzer recalls the following incident: "One
Shabbos some people came from the Pardes Katz neighborhood to
ask my uncle Yehuda Herzog z"l if he would agree to be
the mohel for a baby whose bris was due that
day bizmano, since the mohel who had been asked
to perform the bris could not come.
After Mincha Gedoloh my uncle went to the Chazon Ish
and I accompanied him on that visit. My uncle, explaining the
situation, asked if his young son could carry his
miloh instruments for him. The Chazon Ish asked his
sister, Rebbetzin Kanievsky o"h, to bring a candy for
the child. He gave it to him and asked him to make a
brochoh on it. The child made a shehakol and we
all answered omen. The Chazon Ish then said, `We have
to educate children to mitzvos, not to chilul
Shabbos!' He said that it was categorically forbidden for
the child to carry the miloh instruments on
Shabbos."
"My uncle asked what he should do in that case. The Chazon
Ish replied that the bris could be postponed to
Sunday. My uncle said again, `So what should I do?' and the
Chazon Ish gave him the address of a non-Jew on the outskirts
of Bnei Brak, saying that the goy could carry the
instruments."
The uncle continued the story: "I went to the farm where the
goy was meant to be, but did not find him. After a
while I went back to the place and found the goy
sleeping. I poured a cup of water on him to wake him up.
After he finished uttering some curses, I hinted to him that
he would receive his fees, and he agreed to take his horse
and cart to the Zichron Meir neighborhood. He took the
instruments and rode slowly while we followed him on foot all
the way to where the bris was to take place."
Speak Gently
Rav Nochum Lasman zt"l recalled walking with the
Chazon Ish in Bnei Brak on Beis Hillel Street towards
Volozhin Yeshiva, when the Chazon Ish told him that he did
not understand how people could speak in a harsh manner when
Chazal tell us (Gittin 6b) that "the three things
which a man has to say to his household just before Shabbos
commences, `Have you taken ma'aser? Have you placed
the eruv? Light the lamp,' should be said by him
gently (benichuso)." The Chazon Ish drew out the word
benichuso, singing it lovingly. He added that a
strident tone blocks up the listener's ear, and that only
pleasantness could cause things to enter a person's ears!
(From Rav Mordechai Weissfish, who heard this from his rov,
HaRav Nochum Lasman).
He added that the Chazon Ish once saw a member of his
household mixing cheese with butter on Shabbos. Other people
would have shouted at this person, but the Chazon Ish made
the equivalent of a loud noise by smiling, moving his
fingers, and saying: "That's [the melochoh of]
lishoh!"
"Mei'ikar hadin the neder does not need a
hatoroh"
Rav Chaim Shenker recalled the following: "When I was in
shiur alef in Yeshiva ketanoh, I had to undergo
an X-ray examination of my lungs. I was worried about my
state of health and made a neder to have
kavonoh for every word of the Shemoneh Esrei if
everything turned out all right. B"h I became better,
and after a while I remembered the neder, which I was
not observing! In my state of consternation I went to seek
the advice of my rov, HaRav Michel Yehuda Lefkovitch, who
went to ask the Chazon Ish what to do.
"The Chazon Ish replied that mei'ikar hadin I did not
have to do hatoras nedorim, but I should do so." (He
probably thought that the neder was analogous to a
neder to go up to the heavens, that is,
impossible.)
A Yeshiva bochur and Kibbud Eim
Rav Dovid Shapira recalled the following: "My mother
o"h had to have an operation, and would need a lot of
rest after it was completed. I was learning at a yeshiva in
Yerushalayim at the time and wanted to move to a yeshiva in
Bnei Brak, where my parents lived, so that I could go home
easily whenever my help was required. My father did not agree
to this suggestion, arguing that it would result in a lot of
bitul Torah and that he would manage without me. I was
worried that he would not manage without me.
"My father and I decided to go to the Chazon Ish for a din
Torah about our disagreement. It was on Rosh Chodesh
Cheshvan, two weeks before the Chazon Ish passed away.
After musaf we approached him with our problem. He
thought about it and said that I was right. `A yeshiva
bochur is not exempt from the mitzvah of Kibbud
Eim.' (Perhaps he said, `is not exempt from the mitzvah
of chessed'). He concluded with a brochoh that
Hashem should help and that I should not have a lot of
bitul Torah. My father tried to convince the Chazon
Ish that he was right, but he did not agree with him, and I
moved to a yeshiva in Bnei Brak."
Rav Dovid Frankl zt"l related that the Chazon Ish was
told about a boy (a famous talmid chochom today) who
when he was learning Gittin went to one of the
botei din to watch how they arranged a get. The
Chazon Ish was very impressed and said: "Dos is a
yingl" (That's some boy!). (From Rav M. Weissfish who
heard this from his rov, Rav Frankl).
Rav Yitzchok Dovid Guttfarb once went to see the Chazon Ish
and was told, "Go up to Ponovezh and you will see an
interesting Yid, the Ponevezher Rov!" He went there
and found the Ponevezher Rov rolling around on a mattress and
then moving from one mattress to another. He was shocked at
this sight and asked the rov to explain what he was doing. He
replied that he was about to buy mattresses for some children
in orphanages and he was checking which mattress would be the
best to buy for them. Rav Yitzchok Dovid ran to the Chazon
Ish, and told him what he had seen. The Chazon Ish replied,
"A zoi darf sein — a zoi darf sein!" (From Rav
Mordechai Weissfish).
"An Educator has the Din of a
Mumcheh"
The educator Rav Shlomo Hoffman recalls the following: "I was
involved in educating children from the Aliyat Hanoar
at an institution in Bnei Brak. Some children aged 9 to 12
were having a bad influence on the other boys. They were not
interested in any religious matters, and it was difficult to
improve their attitude. I worked on them for about three
months, and then decided that perhaps they had to be taken
out of the institution. In those days this was a very
difficult decision to make, and I went to the Chazon Ish to
ask whether it was permitted to let them stay if they would
chas vesholom be a bad influence on the other boys.
"This was during the Aseres Yemei Teshuvoh of 5707
(1946). He asked for more information about the children, and
whether it was feasible that their situation would improve.
He asked us for our opinion about the children and what we
thought should be done. I dared to ask him why the Rov was
asking us for our opinion. He replied, `An educator has the
din of a mumcheh! Just like a doctor is
considered a mumcheh for matters connected with a sick
person on Yom Kippur and Shabbos, and we have to rule in
reliance on his opinion, so too in educational matters, we
have to first hear an educator's opinion.'
"I told him that based on my experience I felt that I could
not influence them any more, and that they had to be taken
out of the institution. I wanted to wait until after Yom
Kippur before doing this, but he said, `If they are harming
the others, they have to be taken out straight away.' I asked
if this could be done using force (beyodayim), and he
said, `Yes, beyodayim. You must only make sure that
they will not move to an institution where they eat
neveilos utreifos.'"
Testing talmidim
Rav Chaim Shenker remembered the following incident: The
Chazon Ish would test talmidim in Tiferes Tziyon
Yeshiva. On one occasion he asked a question which nobody
answered. The rebbi, Rav Shraga Feivel Shteinberg realized
that the talmidim did not want to answer because they
thought that the Rov had asked a "difficult" question and
they were unsure of the answer. He then asked the
talmidim, "Tell me, what do we sweep a house with?"
Then one of the boys understood that it had been an easy
question and answered straight away.
During one of the tests held in his house for young
talmidim the Chazon Ish asked one of the boys a
question to which he did not know the answer. He then told
him to take a gemora Kiddushin from the cupboard and
asked him to read the following (30b): "The school of R.
Yishmoel taught, `if this scoundrel [the yetzer hora]
attacks you, lead him to the beis hamedrash: if he is
of stone, he will dissolve; if iron, he will burst, for it
says, `Is not my word like fire!'" Naturally, the
talmid was given the feeling that he also knew
something, and some years later the Rebbi went to the Chazon
Ish and told him that that talmid had made a lot of
progress. The Chazon Ish replied, "You can never know which
maamar Chazal is meant for a specific neshomoh,
to draw it closer to Hashem." (From Rav Meir Altman, who
heard it from the Rebbi).
The 54th yahrtzeit of the Chazon Ish is on 15 Cheshvan,
5768.
