The Bottom Line of Prayer
A not-yet-completely-observant Jew who is a very affluent
businessman once confided to me that he only had a few
minutes a day to pray. He could not recite the entire
Shemoneh Esreih, and asked me what the most important
part of the tefilloh was, so that at least that he
could say. I realized that the answer to this question could
prove very significant in the future of his religious life
and proceeded carefully.
"What do you think?" I asked him.
"Well," he responded, "probably the first or last brochos.
Or maybe Refo'einu or Boreich oleinu," he
added.
I told him that I did not think that any of these were the
correct answer. Taken aback, he asked "So what then is the
most important part of Shemoneh Esreih?"
Getting ready for another surprised reaction I replied, "The
three steps backwards that one takes at the end of
Shemoneh Esreih."
Now he looked really confused; just where I was hoping he
would be. Maybe while he was off guard I could slip in a plug
about the importance of reciting the entire Shemoneh
Esreih.
"The way a person leaves an experience shows where his heart
was during the entire time he was there. If he runs away from
it quickly, you can be sure that he did not cherish that
time. However if he has to force himself away with great
difficulty, this shows that every minute there was precious
to him, and it is only by force that he is leaving."
By now he understood where I was coming from and the message
hit home. "Maybe I can find time to say the whole Shemoneh
Esreih," he concluded.
From that time on, he told me, reciting Shemoneh Esreih
is one of the highlights of his day.
Leaving the Shechina
After an audience with the King of Kings, one cannot just
walk away. Chazal set down very exact guidelines about how to
leave the Shechina. Studying the halachos of how to
perform this mitzvah affords honor to the Divine Presence
that resides with us during tefilloh.
In order to understand any area of Torah one must first be
familiar with the reasons for the halochoh. There are many
reasons offered for these three steps backwards. However the
poskim focus on two of these explanations. Many
practical ramifications come out of these two reasons.
Some write that tefilloh is like the Korbon Tomid
and the mispallel is like a Kohen performing the
avodoh. (Beis Yosef, citing Rav Hai Gaon). After
offering the Korbon Tomid, the Kohen would pour a wine
libation onto the Altar. The Kohen would then leave the
avodoh walking backwards, placing the toe of one foot
behind the heel of his other foot (Mor Uketzia
123).
Others write that the steps backwards are like a servant
departing from his master (Rashba, Responsa 1:381). Before a
servant departs from his master, he bows down to show his
humility. This shows that even as he gets ready to leave him
he is still subservient to him, and on constant alert for
when he will be summoned again. In order to internalize the
magnitude of the moment, we bow down as we depart from our
prayer (Mishna Berurah 123:1).
Big and Small Steps
The size of the steps that one takes backwards depends on the
reason for these steps. The first reason is that the person
in prayer is like the Kohen offering a sacrifice. According
to this explanation one steps backwards putting one's toe
behind one's heel since this was the way that the Kohanim
performed the avodoh (Darchei Moshe 123,2).
The second reason for the steps is that the person in prayer
is like a servant departing from his master. The Rema
understands that, according to this reason, there is no
minimum size for the steps (Darchei Moshe, Ibid).
While we generally follow the first opinion, if there is
limited space in the shul, some poskim rely on
the other opinion and take smaller steps (Mishna Berurah
citing Bach).
Women did not participate in this avodoh in the
Beis Hamikdosh. Must they be careful about the size of
their steps? Some poskim rule that because of this
reason women may in fact take smaller steps (Ishei Yisroel
23:215 citing Orach Ne'eman 123:11). Others imply that women
must also be exact in the size of their steps (Magen Avrohom
123:10).
The Rema warns that according to both reasons one should not
take large steps backwards (Ibid). Not only are these
steps unfit for the avodoh, but they appear as if one
wants to run away from one's Master (Mishna Berurah
123:16). The Shulchan Oruch implies that one may
take larger steps back (123:3).
Three Steps Kehilchosoh
While bowed down, we take the first step backwards with our
left foot (Shulchan Oruch 123:3). Although Halochoh
generally gives preference to the right over the left, in
this case since the right foot is generally stronger and more
agile, by starting with the left one we show that leaving
prayer is difficult for us (Mishna Berurah 123:13).
Therefore a lefty should take the first step backwards with
his right foot (Biur Halochoh).
We place the left foot behind the right one, taking a full
foot's step backwards. After moving the left foot back, we
move the right foot behind the left one (i.e. the length of
two feet). Finally we complete our departure by putting the
left foot adjacent to the right one (Mishna Berurah
123:13).
After we have finished our steps back, while still in a bowed
position we turn left and say, "Oseh sholom bimeromov"
(He who makes peace above). We then turn right and say,
"Hu ya'aseh sholom oleinu" (may he make peace upon
us). In conclusion we bow again and say, "Ve'al kol
Yisroel, ve'imru omein (and on all of us, omein)
(Shulchan Oruch 123:1 and Mishna Berurah
123:3,5).
Unusual Circumstances
HaRav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach was once asked how a person in a
wheelchair should act with regard to the three steps
backwards. Before answering the question he commented that
the three steps backwards that a person takes are integral
for one's tefilloh. So much so that the gemora
says that if one does not take these steps, it is better
that he did not say Shemoneh Esreih at all (Yuma
53b).
With regard to someone riding a horse, we see that moving the
animal backwards is as if one took the three steps (Rema
94:5). Therefore, ruled Rav Auerbach, if possible, the sick
person or someone else should try to move the wheelchair
backwards the distance of three steps. In this way it will be
as if he fulfilled the mitzvah (as cited in Nishmas
Avrohom 1:123,2).
Many poskim rule that when traveling on a plane it is
preferable to pray in one's seat. This case differs from a
horse or a wheelchair, for the airplane chair is fixed in
place and cannot be moved back three steps. Under such
circumstances, it would seem that there is no mitzva to take
three steps backwards.
With You Until the End
An elderly Jew from Lithuania once told me the following
story. Many people left his shtetl in order to travel
to America in search of a less impoverished life. On the day
they would leave, friends and family would accompany them to
the train station.
When they arrived at the train station, the less dedicated
friends and family would leave. A few would travel with them
to the border. When they got to the border only his wife
would continue on until the last moment when he boarded the
boat to America.
In Yiddish they would say, "Tzu shver shiden, nisht
shiden" — whoever has a hard time leaving does not
leave. Even though husbands and wives would be separated for
many years, they remained together. The final accompaniment
created an inseparable bond between them that kept them
together over the coming years of physical separation.
The same is true about tefilloh. If we show Hashem
that departing from His Presence is difficult for us, then we
have never really left. We will continue to be with Him until
the next tefilloh when we will meet up with Him once
again.
In the merit of fulfilling the Halochoh of taking three steps
back properly, as well as all of the other halachos of
tefilloh, may we experience the true pleasure of
prayer.
