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Home
and Family
Going Along with the Crowd
by Ziporah Zien
I recently read a story about a secular Jewish jeweler in
America who was asked by a chareidi bridegroom to
guard some money for him. He had gone shopping for a diamond
ring for his bride one Friday, but hadn't found one to his
liking. He found himself rushing home, as it was getting
close to Shabbos, when he suddenly realized that he couldn't
reach his destination on time; he would have to exit the
subway and walk, and he needed to stash the large sum of cash
his father had given him for the ring before Shabbos. The
young man grasped that the jeweler was not shomer
Shabbos, but he hoped that being Jewish, the man could be
trusted to safely store his money. There was no other way
out.
When the young man returned after Shabbos to retrieve his
money, he heard an amazing thing. When the jeweler had seen
that a man was willing to take such a great risk in order to
guard the Shabbos, he was so deeply shaken that he had spent
the entire Shabbos crying hot tears.
He related that when he had arrived in America, he saw that
no one was keeping Shabbos, and he went along with the crowd.
Indeed, it seemed to be impossible to keep Shabbos in America
in the manner it had always been done in Europe. But this
time, he had been confronted with an American who proved that
other Jews of his generation had thought and acted
differently. The jeweler regretted having gone "along with
the crowd.'
Why did the shtetl disappear? Why did legions of Jews
cross the ocean looking for a livelihood? Was Hashem testing
them to see if they really loved the Shabbos? Perhaps people
had become too used to doing what everyone else does. Perhaps
they were Jews simply because that's all they had known. Why
should they act differently from their friends, parents and
neighbors in the shtetl? If everyone goes to
shul on Friday night, they did so too. If everyone
bought meat from a kosher butcher, so did they. If everyone
sent children to cheder, became bar mitzvah and got
married to Jews, then there seemed to be no need for change,
and so — people were Jews by default!
Come economic hardship in a New World and this was
drastically altered. When Jews arrived in America, the
environment changed. The city had a Reform congregation only;
there was no kosher butcher in town, nor mikveh and
cheder. When everyone was driving to synagogue on
Shabbos, then all the "go-with-the-crowd" Jews did as their
landsman . . . A sad history with a sad lesson . .
.
Jewish married women would do well to consider these points
when they walk into a clothing store. If `everyone' is
wearing garments which hug the body, are cut to enhance the
figure, expose the leg and/or attract attention with splashy
colors, sparkling decor or unusual design, this does not mean
that they are allowed to wear such garments in order to be
"like everybody."
Should a woman answer that her husband likes to see her dress
that way, then why dress like that when she goes out/to work?
Let her dress that way, at worst, for him, alone, at home . .
. [In the tent . . . ?!?]
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