In this week's parshah, we learn that Yaakov Ovinu
remained all alone, across the river, separated from his
entire family, because he had returned to get some small jars
that had been left behind. Rashi teaches us that
tzaddikim are careful with their possessions, and also
guard against any hint of theft or impropriety.
We can certainly understand this. If an earthly king were to
give us a gift, we would treasure it and use it wisely. The
righteous know that everything they possess is a gift from
the King of kings and therefore should be appreciated and
given proper care and consideration.
My parents' generation lived through the Great Depression of
the 1930s and the shortages and rationing of World War II,
more than a decade of "doing without." Even years later,
during the post-war economic boom, the people of that
generation turned off the electric light each time they left
a room, bought only the amount of food they felt they needed,
and found creative uses for any leftovers that remained after
a meal.
Soup chicken was recycled as croquettes, pot pie or chicken a
la king. Leftover challah became French toast, or was
dried for breading, and sour milk was used for pancakes or
biscuits.
They kept their furniture in mint condition, polishing it
until it glowed. Years after my parents and in-laws passed
away, their children and grandchildren are using their chairs
and tables, not to mention my mother-in-law's perfect-
condition cedar chest that her parents gave her in the 1920s
when she became engaged.
It wasn't just that generation. Jewish people throughout the
ages have taken care of their possessions. My paternal
grandparents were married in Poland in the 1890s. My 16-year-
old grandmother received a coral necklace as her bridal
present.
She wore it for almost 40 years and gave it to my aunt, who
wore it even longer. When my aunt gave it to me shortly
before she passed away, the necklace was almost a hundred
years old but it looked brand new. I am happy to say it still
does.
A couple of years ago, I attended a pidyan haben. A
young woman took off her gold locket to put on the tray with
the infant who was being redeemed. When baby, tray and
jewelry were returned to the women's section, this young lady
retrieved her locket. But she didn't put it on. She
absentmindedly gave it to the one-year-old daughter who was
sitting on her lap.
The toddler put it in her mouth, passed it from hand to hand
and tired of it, dropping it after a few minutes. The locket
didn't make much of an impression on her. However, the little
girl made quite an impression on the locket. Gold is soft.
The locket came back to the mother permanently engraved with
a row of teeth marks!
The one-year-old had not been crying hysterically and did not
need something to distract or pacify her. The mother simply
did not value the locket (which very likely was her bas
mitzvah or kallah present) and therefore gave it
to her young child to play with.
Unfortunately, this is not the only example of people today
who are not caring for their possessions in the time-honored
Jewish tradition. You may ask, "Why?"
I would like to suggest two factors involved in this change.
For some people, the expression, "Waste not; want not," has
no meaning. They waste things all day long but B"H they are
not needy. Their cavalier attitude towards their belongings
has not led to any measure of deprivation. They have
discretionary funds, so they just buy more of whatever they
did not care for.
Suppose on a hot summer Shabbos morning that a 12-portion jar
of gefilte fish was opened and five pieces were served for
the lunch meal. Then the jar was left right where it was, out
of the fridge, uncovered, and discovered sitting somewhere in
the back of the kitchen counter when the counter was cleaned
ten hours later. No problem. The jar is simply trashed and a
mental note made: "Buy more fish for next week."
The other aspect of the situation is that many of today's
young people have never held a job where they have been paid
for every hour they worked. Therefore, they do not have any
concept of the value of a shekel, dollar, pound or any other
currency. As they say, "Easy come; easy go."
The gemora tells that Reish Lakish was very distressed
at the end of his life that he was bequeathing a bushel of
spices to his children. Obviously, he was not begrudging his
beloved children this meager inheritance. Or had he wished to
leave over much more? Rather, it was his lifelong policy to
work only the exact number of hours needed to put food on the
table and provide life's other basic necessities. The fact
that he had some vegetables left over meant that he had taken
away more time from his learning to devote to working than
had actually been necessary. It was the irretrievable loss of
this learning time that pained him.
Rabbi Avi Schulman wrote an excellent book with an
interesting title. The cover says, Time is Money,
which is an American expression. Then "Money" is crossed out
and replaced with "Life," so the real title becomes, Time
is Life.
If someone appreciates every minute of his/her life that goes
into working for a living, then s/he values the salary and
the things it buys. A jar of gefilte fish becomes an hour of
life. That is something else entirely. Sadly, many young
people don't appreciate hours of life, either. Rabbi Chaim
Pinchas Scheinberg says that someone who has a few minutes
between activities can use those few minutes to learn Torah
but, more often, he can also talk to his friends, drink
coffee or just stand around doing nothing. If you ask him
what he is doing, he will tell you he is "killing time." Rav
Scheinberg says he isn't killing time; he is killing
himself.
Internalizing the concept that money is time and time is life
can help a kollel couple to live carefully and
frugally and thereby maximize their learning years. Making an
effort to conserve electricity, gas and water as well as food
can save a lot of money.
In addition, it is relatively easy to extend the life of
clothing. Wearing a large apron while you are working in the
kitchen or serving meals will cut down on the number of times
your dresses are washed or need expensive dry cleaning. Smock
style bibs do the same for children's clothing. Using an
umbrella will do wonders for your hat or sheitel.
Partially closing the shutters, drapes or blinds in the
afternoon will prevent the sun from bleaching the fabric on
your couch.
Don't throw out wearable old shoes when you buy new ones.
Save the old ones for days when rain is likely. Plastic boots
can be put over shoes on days when you know it is raining.
And the most important money-saving tip I can think of is
this: Know what you own and where it is located so that you
don't duplicate purchases. Think of how many times the
average householder runs out and buys a new Phillip's
screwdriver of a certain common size or a flashlight or a
tube of super glue, simply because he can't find the one he
already has.
The actions of the forefathers should be lessons for us,
their children. This was the time when Yaakov Oveinu was
going back to Eretz Yisroel. He was busy making crucial
decisions that would affect his life and that of his family
forever. If he could go back across the river to retrieve
some little jars of oil that he knew he left there, each of
us can certainly learn to keep track of and care for our
belongings.
