A Jewish family is not just a convenient social structure
that can be altered or discarded. Rather it is an essential
part of life itself as envisioned by the Torah. Nothing makes
this more clear than the yom tov of Pesach.
The family gathering on the night of Pesach that we call the
Seder is an echo of the "bayis" that was formed
in the time of the Beis Hamikdosh in order to eat the
Korbon Pesach, together with the matzoh and the
morror. We come together each year in our own homes
throughout the world in the hope and with the prayer that we
will once again soon come together as in days of old to
actually bring and eat a Korbon Pesach each year.
The bayis that was assembled for eating the Korbon
Pesach had to be composed of only those who were fully
committed to the Heavenly task of the Jewish people: kol
ben neichor lo yochal bo — anyone whose deeds are
alienated from his Heavenly Father may not partake
(Pesochim 96a and Zevochim 22b). Even those who
are full members of the household (eved ish) may not
participate unless they have a bris milah indicating
that they are a part of the larger effort of the Jewish
people in avodas Hashem. The head of the household
himself is also not allowed to eat the Korbon Pesach
unless he has ensured that all those who are associated with
him are enlisted.
This bayis on the night of Pesach became a holy
gathering in a holy place — complete with special laws.
"You must not take the Pesach meat out of the house"
(Shemos 12:46). Just like the holy meat of the
korbonos throughout the year must be eaten within
special boundaries — the Beis Hamikdosh or
Yerushalayim — so the meat of the Korbon Pesach
must be eaten within the home that has become a sanctified
area when it is united in fulfillment of the Torah way of
life.
Our homes on the night of Pesach are echoes of the
bayis of old. We connect to the experience of the
times of glory when the Beis Hamikdash stood, by doing
as much as we can of what was done then.
But there is a whole dimension that we lack today. In
bringing the Korbon Pesach, all of Kehal Adas
Yisroel was united within the Beis Hamikdash
itself. Lacking that central pole of our relationship as a
nation with Hashem, we remain fragmented in our homes in the
Golus.
Within the Golus Jewish homes, built on the eternal
instructions of the Torah, are critical and essential
structures in the fulfillment of the Torah and in its
perpetuation. We have our seudas Shabbos at home every
week, and every yom tov we also have seudas. On Pesach
we have the major mitzvos of the period — matzoh,
morror, the four cups, and of course the haggodoh
itself of recounting the story of yetzias Mitzrayim
— which are performed within the home. On Shavuos there
is a special emphasis on lochem — the meals we
eat at home. And one of the major components of Succos is a
modification of our physical home itself and the time we
spend within it.
Some who do not understand the way our homes echo the Jewish
bayis of all generations, think that they can just
decide on changes to mimic the latest decadent fads. In truth
they are not really connected with the sources of holiness
that accompany us even in the Golus, and we can say of
them what Chazal say of the destruction of the Beis
Hamikdosh: that when the enemies of Hashem burned it
down, they were destroying only wood and stone. The true
inner holy content had long since departed.
If we wish to have a relationship with the Holy One, Blessed
be He, we must follow the instructions that He gave us in His
holy Torah. When we do so, we will certainly experience a
personal yetzias Mitzrayim that will serve as the
initiation of a process that culminates in gathering around
Sinai for a full acceptance of the holy Torah.
