As homemakers, we all find ourselves very busy with the
varied demands of running a home. It seems that whether or
not we are employed outside the home, housework truly expands
to fit the time allotted to it, and there is always a never-
ending list of things to do.
When we are blessed with children, the workload increases
astronomically. As babies, they rob us of our sleep, and
sometimes of our entire day! It seems as if nothing will ever
be done again! We dream about them getting big enough to help
out, but it doesn't always work out that way. It's funny to
imagine this, but in the 'good old days,' a new baby meant
two extra hands to help, after a few short years. Today it
seems that with each additional child, we need more 'outside'
help, or we just work more! We can't turn back the clock, but
why not try to motivate the children to help out more?
A proven way to get kids to cooperate is a point chart.
Studies have shown that children respond to completing charts
and earning prizes. The problem is that we often get
impatient, and busy, and just forget. If we realize how
valuable a tool it can be, and focus on the results, we will
be amazed. A chart can help garner cooperation, and at the
same time, give you a very easy and effective way to show
gratitude to your child for each little thing they have
done.
Start out by creating a chart (sample shown below). Try and
include your children in determining what gets on it. You may
be surprised at their suggestions! Try to incorporate as many
as you can; if they are really not important to you (lining
up toy cars neatly, for example) you can give it a low point
value. Be sure to praise them for thinking of things that
make running the house more pleasant and efficient. Make sure
to include whatever jobs you think they are possibly capable
of.
It pays to think big; as any salesperson knows, you can only
get a sale if you ask for it. Children as young as three or
four really can straighten up a bathroom, unpack groceries,
distribute laundry. Be ready to break the jobs into small
parts; tailor them to the ages you are dealing with.
If your kids are old enough, let them write their names on
the chart, or decorate it, as appropriate. Selecting where to
hang it up can be another group activity. I find it handy to
take the chart to their bedroom every night; if you like that
idea, don't tape it up; use a magnet or hanger of some type
instead. It may be a good idea to keep it out of their reach,
that way they won't feel tempted to reward themselves, or
tear it up in a fit of anger.
As with any project, there is an investment of time required.
Points can be given throughout the day for some categories,
so try to keep a marker nearby (perhaps attach it to the
chart with a rubber band or string), so that you can do it
right away, before you forget. Alternatively, have a cup or
container for each child, and you can drop in some small
item, such as a marble or bean, for each point. Then comes
the component that is simultaneously hard and wonderful.
Yes, you must also take five to ten minutes every night,
per child, to update the chart. But, hey! That is a great
way to spend quality time with your child, review their day,
and end on a positive note. You may want to do each child
privately, to avoid jealousy, and tears over lost
opportunities, which can happen if siblings listen in to each
others 'ratings.' Also, one-on-one makes it a truly exclusive
parent-child conference.
Now, what good are these points? First of all, I had children
earning them for months before they started to ask what they
could get with them. (I guess they trust me!) You can be very
creative, and again include your kid's suggestions for what
they might like. It doesn't have to become a big expense;
it's all in the presentation!
Try having them redeem points for treats, toys, trips, arts
and crafts projects . . . even games with Mommy and/or Tatty.
They can earn making cookies, decorating them, making caramel
popcorn . . . you might even convince them to earn making
dinner (take a tip from Tom Sawyer!). Just remember that if
you offer games or a time-oriented activity, make sure you
include a limit. Otherwise, you may find yourself drowning in
popcorn, or looking at a monopoly game for weeks!
You may even try to do an 'auction'. Children get a
paper with their point total written down. You present items
for auction, either by surprising them with each one
individually or letting them view the selection and plan
their bids. My children loved it and the points just flew!
It's more exciting with a crowd; so consider having your
auction with relatives, friends or neighbors, using the same
type of program. Setting up, running an auction and then
letting the kids enjoy their prizes can keep your crew busy
an entire day, so you may want to save it for a vacation day,
and that is the day's activity! You may even want to have a
special supper (pizza, hot dogs, ice cream . . . ) as one of
the prizes that they earn as a group.
Here is a sample chart that has worked for us; fine-tune it
to suit your needs. Good luck & happy tabulating!
Cooperated during bedtime, previous night. . . . .10
Waited in bed quietly until fell asleep, previous night. . .
. .8
Listened the first time. . . . .5
Negel vasser and dressed quickly. . . . .10
Made bed in morning. . . . .2
Left promptly for school. . . . .5
Said: Have a nice day. . . . .2
Made an effort to speak softly. . . . .5
Left bathroom clean after use. . . . .5
Remembered to turn lights off . . . . .2
Homework done (& put away). . . . .5
Shared . . . . .10
Gave in. . . . .10
Jobs, additional. . . . .*
Put wrappers and disposable items in trash. . . . .1
Outdoor trash. . . . .2
Remembered to say please. . . . .1
Remembered to say thank you. . . . .1
Drank a cup of water. . . . .1
Set the table. . . . .10
Ate with manners (fork, napkin, neatly, etc). . . . .5
Cleared the table. . . . .5
Washed dishes. . . . .10
Swept up. . . . .8
Prepared clothing, backpack, lunch for next day. . . . .10
Cooperated during bath time. . . . .8
Got into pajamas quickly. . . . .2
Put clothes into hamper. . . . .2
Left shoes in place, side by side. . . . .2
Brushed teeth, per minute. . . . .2
Said Shema. . . . .5
Said Hamapil. . . . .5 (or more . . . it's worth
it!)
