The presence of problems in any large system does not show
that there is something fundamentally wrong with it. The
variety within the human beings involved and the myriad
circumstances in which they find themselves, almost guarantee
that at least some of the results will fall short of
perfection. Therefore, merely finding some problems does not
make them worthy of a broad, public discussion. They must be
found to be so common as to indicate a systematic difficulty,
and preferably a solution should be at hand that shows some
promise of relieving them.
Children are different; rebbis are different. Even exemplary
children have problems in school sometimes, and even
exemplary teachers have problems with some children.
One of the main complaints of Rabbi Sofer is that "anyone can
open an educational institution and he can hire whomever he
wants." If it is so easy, then I suggest that Rabbi Sofer
just open a cheder and do it right.
The fact is that in any large Torah community, there are many
institutions, and in effect they are competitive
alternatives. Not just "anyone" can open a school. No one
will come unless he or she has a reputation and preferably
endorsements from rabbonim. There are many cases in which the
enrollment of schools declined until they got their act
together. Just like in business, the educational
"marketplace" functions as a regulator to weed out the
incompetents.
The string of complaints does not seem to recognize the
parents as full partners in the education of their children.
The truth is that any institution is only an agent of the
parents, and the ultimate responsibility lies with the
parents.
If there are problems, the parents must find solutions. It is
no excuse to say that parents are not "comfortable" going to
the godol to complain about a school under his
patronage. In fact, comfortable or not, many parents do go to
rabbonim when they have cause for complaint.
Some of these cases cited show serious dereliction on the
part of the parents, but perhaps the worst is that of Reb
Dan. Where was he for three years and perhaps longer? Can it
be that his child was "often smacked" and Reb Dan knew
nothing of it until the boy went to a new cheder? Reb Dan was
surprised to learn that his son was even "below standard" but
in fact the child had done nothing for three years! Where was
Reb Dan during that time? Apparently happily paying the
tuition and thinking that he had fulfilled his responsibility
to his son thereby.
In fact in the 20-20 hindsight we now have, the liability of
the principal seems to be that he did not ask the boy to
leave earlier. Given that he did not do well in that school
and did very well elsewhere, Reb Dan should have seen his
child's difficulties long before and looked for another
cheder, and not try so hard to keep him where he was
failing.
Reb Dan did not need someone to complain to at that point. He
needed someone to explain to him his responsibilities as a
father.
A problem that is frequently noted by educators (and has been
discussed in our pages) is parents who push their children
into institutions that are prestigious but whose level
requires their children to stretch to the limits of their
abilities — and in some cases beyond those limits.
Chadorim are generally designed so that all of the learning
takes place within their framework. A child should generally
not need supplementary study outside except in special
situations. If there does not seem to be enough study time,
the student should be sent to an institution in which the
demands are lower. A family's reputation will be damaged by a
child who is a failure at a prestigious school but its name
will be enhanced by one who is a success at a less demanding
school.
On the whole, chareidi education is a success even by secular
standards. On standardized tests that measure educational
development (rather than specialized knowledge or skills)
talmidei yeshivos do well. According to the Ministry
of Education, a very high percentage (compared with other
systems) of the graduates remain within the system. We should
aim for perfection even while recognizing that we probably
cannot achieve it.
The parents are full partners, and in many senses the primary
movers of the education, even though they may spend less time
with their children than the schools. Maran HaRav Shach
zt"l used to say that a child in yeshiva
ketanoh should be asked every day how things are going.
People check on their stocks every day. They look in on their
businesses even several times a day.
If something is important to you, you check it constantly,
"just in case" there is something that needs to be done. In
many cases, the show of concern is, in itself, very important
to a child, and no school can, or should be expected to, make
up for the damage caused by a lack of attention from an able
parent.
Hashem arranged His world so that the job of parenting is
diffused. That means that we can do it right.
