Did you ever notice that once your children get married, it
becomes harder than usual to find nice birthday or other
gifts for them, let alone for their spouses? And, if you are
in the habit, there are now also anniversary gifts to be
purchased for everyone as well.
After `breaking my head' for a few years, I have finally come
up with a few ideas that work for each couple, no matter what
their preferences. And, best of all, these gift ideas can be
repeated time and again, year in and year out, and are
equally as appropriate for a Pesach present as for a birthday
gift.
IDEA NO. 1: Paying for a few hours of cleaning help. You can
break this gift into once or twice a month, placing money
into individual envelopes marked "X hours for cleaning
help."
I certainly feel that, barring extenuating circumstances,
most kollel families should be able to manage their own
cleaning or else budget what they feel is necessary into
their regular expenses.
My way, however, is for those difficult times, once or twice
a month, when it is a treat, and not something to be relied
upon on a steady basis.
IDEA NO. 2: If the couple has children, a similar gift is to
pay for a few hours of babysitting, once or twice a month,
for a few months in advance, according to your pocketbook.
This gives the mother an extravagant feeling of time at her
disposal, for a good afternoon nap, going out shopping,
perhaps swimming, or treating herself accordingly with quiet
time.
This money also goes into separate envelopes, each marked "X
hours for babysitter," so that the mother has cash in each
envelope for those specified number of hours. (Find out the
going rate, and put the exact change in.) Tip: If you have
crisp new bills, use them; it looks more like a gift and even
the babysitter will feel happier!
IDEA NO. 3: I sometimes like to give a `gift certificate' for
a dinner out for the family, or just for the couple, that is,
money in a personalized envelope. This may come attached with
a babysitting envelope, if they're leaving the kids at home,
or cab fare for both ways if they're taking them.
IDEA NO. 4: Another "money in a marked envelope" idea is cash
for home-delivered pizza or other take-out food for one meal
for the family. A daughter or daughter-in-law likes to have
that spare option of ready-made food without having to get
dressed up and picking herself up to go out. And, of course,
this money does not come out of their budget.
For my daughter's last birthday, I gave her one envelope with
a picture of a cow, marked chalavi, containing the
exact price for a home-delivered whole pizza pie.
The other envelope had a picture of a chicken, was marked
besari, and had some cut out ads with suggestions for
take-out places that delivered their specialities.
IDEA NO. 5: A large supply of disposable plastic plates and
cups. Many families may be using these liberally, but it is
nice to receive a full supply, in any case. In this case,
however, I am not referring to the cheap white disposables,
but to a nice set of gold plastic, or two different colors
that look stunning together, such as pink and black, or even
clear plastic ones.
This last was my son-in-law's brilliant idea, to put clear
plastic disposables over beautiful china dishes, which even
if if gets slightly soiled, won't have to be scrubbed hard,
just wiped down.
This gift idea includes large dinner plates, double the
amount of smaller ones, soup bowls, large and small serving
bowls and color-coordinated napkins. If I see strong and
stable cups, I get these too.
This is my pre-Pesach present to my married children. If you
ask around, some stores will deliver your purchases or even
gift wrap the carton holding this gift. If not, you may want
to buy wrapping paper in that very store, which probably
sells it, and get them to do the wrapping.
What is the purpose of these gifts? It is to make life a
little easier, when the going sometimes gets rough. Also to
provide something that they themselves would feel is an
unnecessary luxury. This is your treat, to be used when they
want it most.
Perhaps this last one is suitable for a gooey or oily Chanuka
meal of sufganiyot or potato latkes. You leave it up
to the receiver to decide. It's all theirs.
(Reminder: if this is a Pesach gift, check to see that the
plates are not starched and are kosher l'Pesach.)
