Some children, perfectly normal in every other way, are just
not interested in playing games, nor in any other social
interaction. These are children who do not need help to
develop their gross or fine motor skills, nor need help in
improving their communications skills; they just do not enjoy
playing, and prefer to curl up with a book. The traditional
bookworms. As a consequence, if they are coaxed into any
game, they will in all likelihood not be as skilled as other
children. They have not had the practice or experience which
makes for perfection.
There are workshops and afternoon play centers in many
Western countries for parents to visit, which display all
kinds of games and toys. People come away from there with a
list of games and ideas for different classifications, and
what is suitable for each age group. The workshop I went to
was a very large hall with various types of games set up on
tables and on the floor in different parts of the room. There
were games of chance -- Snakes and Ladders, for example --
simulation games like dolls and Playmobil games which demand
mental skill, like chess and those which demand physical
skill and dexterity, improve coordination skills, as well as
miscellaneous board games for groups of four or more.
Parents were invited to sit at tables and begin playing. At
first, there was some slight embarrassment and sheepish
laughter, but they soon got into the swing of things. Just as
they were beginning to enjoy themselves, they were told to
move on to the next table.
Many parents believe that games are just there to stave off
boredom, to keep children from "scratching each other's eyes
out." After attending one of these workshops, they discover
that playing is an integral part of education. They see games
which their children do not enjoy, and find out the reason
for this. What skills will they need to improve in order to
compete in some particular game? Not all games are
competitive, nor do all children enjoy competing against
others, as mentioned before.
There are games which need no investment in money, nor any
equipment. For example, the first game of peekaboo, which is
precursor to hide-and-seek in years to come. Originally, the
parent is the instigator and mother and Baby chuckle together
when the face is uncovered. Later, the baby starts the game
and again, there is great mutual enjoyment. Baby sees that
things disappear and come back. Still later, at about
eighteen months, he covers his eyes or even hides behind a
door, and wants someone to find him. At this age, he does not
usually wait to be found!
Some children who have struggled unsuccessfully for years,
trying to read, are completely unmotivated. They have given
up. Games are a great strategy for relaxing the child and
putting him into a happy frame of mind. The offer of a game,
even before the start of a short lesson, is a better bribe
than anything else. Many a child has learned to read in a
relatively short while and also mastered the rudiments of
some board games with this approach.
Does it matter if your child does not want to play? Should
you prevent the child from swallowing book after book to the
exclusion of all other leisure activities? Firstly, anything
performed to extremes should be suspect. Boys in particular,
who are encouraged to study all day, and then learn some more
in the evenings, should not be encouraged to use their eyes
again in their limited spare time. It is a moot point whether
a child of eleven or twelve whose whole heart and soul are
steeped in learning should be encouraged in any
extracurricular activities. However, if he is spending his
spare time reading adventure stories, which admittedly are an
escape from stress, perhaps he should be encouraged to let
off steam in a different way.
Furthermore, even from an early age, nursery teachers and
parents should observe the child in his play habits, or lack
of them. If a child loves going on swings and slides or is an
expert at jumping rope, yet never touches a puzzle or
construction toy, maybe he needs help with his fine motor
development. Does he perhaps suffer from social anxiety
disorder which would prevent him from participating in a team
game? Has he some semantic, pragmatic disorder which
precludes the understanding of the rules of games? This type
of child will not have his nose buried in a book. He will be
terribly anxious to be included in games, but will not know
how to achieve his wishes.
How many parents whose children have a cupboard full of toys
hear a regular refrain of "I'm bored?" When a baby gets bored
with his mobile over the crib, take it away and put something
else there. It makes no difference what it is, as long as it
holds the child's attention for a while. The same applies to
older children who have a surfeit of toys and games. Take
them away and hide them. When the children get bored with the
current toys or games, put those away and take out other
ones.
Play with your children from a very early age. The game is
more peaceful and more exciting if Mommy participates. She
does not have to let her opponents win each time, either. The
children will learn about winning and losing, about helping
children younger than themselves and will, hopefully, develop
good character traits.
Let me add that from personal experience, not from a
professional point of view, as soon as some children acquire
the skill of reading, they will read, whether you like it or
not. They will read while waiting for their turn for the
dice, and if reprimanded, they will walk off and say they
don't want to play any more! Bookworms are `hatched' at a
very young age, often before they go to school. If Mommy is
playing with the children, they will be more likely to enjoy
the game. Perhaps this enjoyment will persuade them that
there are other agreeable pastimes in life besides
reading.
