Synopsis: Reuven and Surah Huma met, married, and had
their children in New York. When Binyamin, born blind, was
nine years old, and Mazel (now Shira Levy's daughter-in-law),
one year older, the family made Aliya. Most of their family
on both sides live here in Israel, so it was natural for them
to make Aliya. Reuven and Surah both speak Hebrew and English
in their home so there was no problem for the children to
learn the language once they moved here to Israel.
Part III
I lean forward: How do people treat you, Binyamin?
"In general, people are nice and want to help, although both
of those can cause problems for me sometimes. In the Yeshiva
I'm in now, they're good but they don't always know how to
help a blind person. I'm referring to things like if they
give me a chair to sit in, they shouldn't push me into
it!"
Is it hard for you in new places, getting used to them or
making friends?
"I have no trouble making friends."
Why do you think that is?
"I'm a little embarrassed to say this but, you asked, so I'll
answer! One of my friends once told me that I have no problem
with people because I'm always so happy with a big smile.
"If I want to speak to someone I go to them, take their
hand, and say Hello. I'll say they have an easy hand to
recognize like when it's smooth or hairy."
Personally, I might add that he's intelligent and
thoughtful...
There are other aspects of dealing with people, like their
body language or when they intuit.
"I know," Binyamin responds. "Sometimes someone says A and
they mean B. I feel like telling them to go away! I say,
'good, good, good', and then forget all about it!
"Sometimes, someone just wants to argue and tell me what to
do. When I don't do what they said, they'll call me stupid
or something. I've learned not to say a word! I just
laugh."
Reuven smiles and I ask, going from humorous to serious:
What is the biggest difficulty in having a blind
child?
"One of the problems that needs attention is that people tend
to ignore the blind and only talk to the sighted person with
him. For example, a salesman will ask me what Binyamin wants.
I answer, 'Ask him!' A blind person can talk, make decisions,
he has opinions. One shouldn't ignore him! Also in the area
of friendship, since Binyamin can't play ball etc., his
friendships are built more around talking and learning. I've
seen more than once someone walk right past Binyamin. It only
takes a minute to be friendly, say 'Hello' and shake his
hand. That's his way of seeing others."
Binyamin speaks up, "Sometimes people think that a blind
person is stupid. Like if my cane bangs the table they think
I'm going into the table so they'll push me by my shoulders!
It's very uncomfortable for me and I'll say 'Let me go around
by myself!' Here's another example: Someone will tell me to
throw the garbage into the garbage can but I'm not
comfortable just throwing. I want to feel the can and make
sure I'm putting the garbage inside. Also, someone will tell
me that the food on my plate is on the right. Well, it might
be on their right as they're facing me but it's actually on
my left! It's a minor irritation. I know people mean
well."
I suppose they should say that the food is on YOUR right.
That would be the most clearly stated.
Binyamin nods, then says, "I want, whenever I can, to do and
go by myself even if it's far, even if there are obstacles.
It's really very nice that others want to help me but let me
do as much as possible by myself!"
My eyes fill with admiration at Binyamin's choice of words,
"They want to help", "they mean well", "it's really very
nice." He sees the good in everyone!
Which Chag do you like best?
"Shavuos. We got the Torah! And that's what's kept the Jewish
people all these years."
I wonder if he knows that his face is glowing as he talks. I
know that my favorite Chag is Pesach with all the most
beautiful crystal and china displayed on the Sedar table,
when the house shines and sparkles. I love it! I know others
that love the beauty of Succos with all the decorations,
seeing the stars as they eat their meals. But I've never met
anyone that loves Shavuos the best, even though Binyamin is
right: Shavuos really is the essence of Judaism in many ways
and it amazes me how this seventeen-year-old is so connected
with the essence of what the Torah is about. His 'vision'
isn't distorted by sight.
Do you have any goals?
"Well, I'm only seventeen-years-old so I don't have goals for
marriage or working at the moment but my goal, my dream right
now, is to finish learning Navi and Shas by heart."
Shmuel walks into the house, home from his night
shiur, hearing the last part of our conversation.
Quite animated he says, "Ima, you have to see this! You won't
believe it!"
Shmuel opens a Chumash in front of him. He says three words
in a row; Binyamin names the Perek and the Pasuk and finishes
the Pasuk. Again, again, again . . . anywhere throughout
Chumash and Tehillim. It's amazing! I take the Chumash and
say three more words in a row and this time Binyamin recites
all four of the different Pasukim that those three words are
found. I look at Binyamin; his smile, his gentle fingers
touching the table top, and the seforim spread on the
table in front of him that he can't see, yet knows so well.
Its unbelievable! But then again...seeing is believing!
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Tips When Around The Blind
Translated from the Hebrew "He is Also a Person"
(courtesy of Mesillah)
1. Even those who aren't completely blind may need a walking
stick and some help.
2. Even if you're already acquainted with the blind person,
you should introduce yourself to him since he doesn't see or
know who's standing in front of him. This introduction will
give him a feeling of respect.
3. Ask the blind person if he needs assistance, on the
assumption that some will need and others will not.
4. Don't push him to accept assistance. Leave this to his own
judgment.
5. A blind person is a hearing individual with language
skills. He just doesn't see. Speak to him directly with
regular voice volume.
6. Be careful not to ignore him or to only talk to the person
accompanying him.
7. The blind person can and is interested in hearing and
speaking for himself.
8. Don't refrain from using words such as 'you see.' Blind
people also use visual words fluidly.
9. It's important to tell the blind person what's happening
around him, for example, who's leaving and who's coming. If
not, he may end up speaking to himself.
10. In order to direct a blind person in finding his way,
give details and complete instructions. Pointing or the use
of the word 'there' are not constructive in this case.
11. When reaching stairs, notify him of their existence and
direction such as 'the steps are going up (or down).' It's
preferable to place his hand on the handrail so that he can
use the stairs independently.
12. When crossing the street with a blind person, offer your
assistance and if he's interested, offer your arm (never
touch his walking stick). Walk with him until the opposite
sidewalk. Refrain from yelling at him, 'You can cross.!' If
you can't assist him until the other side, it's preferable
that you just continue on your way. Half a help, in this
situation, is life threatening.
13. When a blind person is waiting at a bus stop, and the bus
hasn't arrived yet, then it is recommended to ask which bus
he needs and then to announce its arrival but if a bus
suddenly arrives before you've had a chance to speak to him,
the best thing is to simply announce which bus number it is
and not to question him as to which bus he needs or where he
wants to go at that moment since he could miss it this
way.
14. When leaving a building or a room (such as an
auditorium), it's best not to just leave the blind person
stranded in the middle of the room. This could leave him
feeling anxious or confused. It's best to direct him to hold
on to a fixed object or to lead him to a seat, guiding his
hand to the back of the chair. The rest he can do himself.
There's no need to push him into the chair.
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