Wrong Turns
Lengthy Selichos accompanied by fasting make erev
Rosh Hashonoh a day of teshuvoh. So too, as Yom
Kippur enters, everyone's mind is set on the upcoming day's
avodoh: repentance. As part of this teshuvoh
process, hatoras nedorim is performed both on erev
Rosh Hashonoh and on erev Yom Kippur (in Kol
Nidrei). Why do we choose to focus specifically on the
transgression of vows at this crucial time?
Hashem's Torah contains 613 mitzvos, each one a separate path
which leads to the strengthening of our relationship with
Him. Anyone who walks straight along these paths can be sure
that he will reach Olom Habo, the World to Come.
However, creating brand new paths will almost inevitably take
a person away from his sought-after destination.
Although all transgressions divert us from Olom Habo,
there is an aspect of nedorim that makes
transgressions in that area worse than other aveiros.
Falling prey to any other aveiroh represents a
stumbling, but since we are on the right road we can get up,
brush ourselves off, and continue walking. When making a vow,
however, a person accepts upon himself an obligation that the
Torah does not place upon him, thus creating a new path.
Following this road may seriously disrupt his journey.
On very rare occasions, it may be appropriate to make a vow
in order to inspire oneself to improvement via the discipline
of a neder. As a general rule however, vows are viewed
as undesirable. Hashem's Torah takes us straight to our
destination as is; any human addition runs the risk of
diverting us from our goal.
During these critical days, we attempt to clear the path to
righteousness of any obstacles, by annulling all our
nedorim. In doing so, we hope that our fulfillment of
Hashem's Torah, exactly as He commanded it, will find
pleasure in His eyes and arouse Divine mercy during this time
of judgment (based on the commentary of Vilna Gaon,
Mishlei 20:25).
Ordinary People
"Someone who made a neder and regrets it should go to
a chochom mumcheh with breadth and depth of Torah
knowledge . . . and he will annul the vow by himself"
(Shulchan Oruch, Yoreh Deah 228:1). What is considered
"breadth and depth of Torah knowledge"?
The gemora cites Rav Nachman as an example of such a
talmid chochom (Bechoros 36b). Since in our times
there is no one who even comes close to this level, it is
understood that today one individual cannot perform
hatoras nedorim (Shulchan Oruch, ibid.).
"If there is no individual who is that great in Torah
available, one should go to three common folk . . . and they
will annul the neder for you" (Shulchan Oruch,
ibid). Who are these "ordinary people"? Although they do not
need to be talmidei chachomim themselves, they must be
able to comprehend halachos taught by others (Shach
and Taz, ibid.). Normally, a beis din must
consist of at least one talmid chochom, but since
hatoras nedorim does not have the same status as other
judicial proceedings, this requirement is waived (Shach,
ibid.).
The three individuals who perform hatoras nedorim may
be related to each other, and the person whose vow is being
rescinded can also be related to them (Shulchan Oruch,
ibid., 3). Once again, the halochoh differentiates
between a normal beis din in which relatives are
disqualified, and a beis din for hatoras
nedorim. However, some similarities still exist between
hatoras nedorim and other cases. Children under the
age of bar mitzvah and women of all ages may not serve as one
of the three individuals who annul a vow (Rav Akiva Eiger,
ibid.).
Women and Children
Since women cannot be part of a beis din for
hatoras nedorim, should they do hatoras nedorim
for themselves, altogether? Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach
does not require women to do hatoras nedorim on
erev Rosh Hashonoh, but would have them rely on the
annulment that is done in Kol Nidrei, at the beginning
of the Yom Kippur services (Halichos Shlomo 1:10).
In order for the hatoras nedorim of Kol Nidrei
to be effective, a person must be present in shul and say
the words together with the chazan (Mishnah Berurah
619:2). If a woman's hectic routine does not allow her to be
in shul, her husband can act as an agent to terminate her
vows (Shulchan Oruch, Yoreh Deah 234:56). Even though
one normally cannot appoint a shaliach to cancel a
neder, still based on the principle "ishto
kegufo" (a man's wife is like himself), a special
exception is made (Shach, ibid., 70).
Older Minor Children
The halochoh describes a concept termed "mufloh
somuch le'ish" (a minor who makes a neder right
before he becomes an adult). When a child who is one year shy
of the age of bar or bas mitzvah (i.e. a twelve-year-old boy
and an eleven-year-old girl) makes a vow, we check to see if
the child realized what he or she was doing. If we see that
the child does understand what a neder is about, then
the vow is halachically binding (Bamidbar Rabbah
10:20).
Should hatoras nedorim be done for children who fit in
this category? The poskim differentiate between making
a neder and annulling one. Even though the vows of
these children are considered valid, this validity does not
automatically mean that they are granted the opportunity to
rescind them. Since it is not clear whether the option of
annulling a vow was given to children, if they wish to do
hatoras nedorim they must wait until their bar or bas
mitzvah. Therefore, they do not perform hatoras
nedorim (She'arim HaMitzuyonim Behalochoh
128:24).
This ruling creates a tremendous responsibility for children
in the year before they become bar or bas mitzvah, for any
vow they make could be binding. In this vein, when the
grandchildren of Rav Shlomo Zalman reached this age, he
cautioned them to be vigilant to always say "bli
neder." Aside from the practical benefit of eliminating
vows, this practice trains children to "guard their tongues"
for the rest of their lives (as cited in Halichos
Shlomo 1 [38]).
Dressed in White
A person who awaits a decision from the high court as to
whether he will be sentenced to life or death is usually in a
state of extreme trepidation until the pronouncement of the
final verdict. Only after the decision has been issued will
he have the peace of mind to concern himself with his outer
appearance. One would think, therefore, that on erev Rosh
Hashonoh, as we are hovering on the threshold of life and
death, personal cleanliness should be the last thing on our
minds.
Not so. The Jewish people go out of their way to cleanse
themselves and their garments, take a haircut and put on
fine, white clothing on erev Rosh Hashonoh. By putting
aside our emotional fears for the sake of honoring the Yom
Tov, we show complete confidence that Hashem will perform
a miracle for the Jewish nation as a whole and pronounce us
innocent in judgment (Medrash cited by Tur
581).
On another level, wearing white reflects the dual nature of
the day. This color represents repentance while
simultaneously reminding us of the shrouds that we will wear
on the day of death (Maharal as cited in Bach
597:1).
What should one do if he finds himself on erev Rosh
Hashonoh in a place where the custom is not to dress in
white? Although he should certainly put on fine clothing, it
is preferable not to wear his normal Yom Tov attire. Clothes
that are elegant but not overly lavish help to maintain a
balance between rejoicing in Yom Tov and remembering the
serious nature of Rosh Hashonoh (Mishnah Berurah
581:25).
Half-Day Fasting
In general, we do not fast on erev Yom Tov, so
that we will be able to usher in the holiday in a pleasant
state of mind. What about erev Rosh Hashonoh? How can
a person possibly think of food when in a few hours he will
be standing before Hashem, facing a life or death judgment?
In order to strike a compromise, the custom is to fast only
part of the day on erev Rosh Hashonoh.
The poskim differ as to the appropriate time to break
the fast. Some fast exactly half a day until chatzos,
midday (She'ilas Yavetz 2: 147), while others eat
only after having recited Mincha (Machatzis
HaShekel 562: 1). A final opinion rules that those who
have the strength to continue fasting should refrain from
eating until plag haMincha, an hour-and-a-quarter
before sundown (Mishnah Berurah 562: 10). The
seforim caution that if fasting will adversely affect
a person's davening or the way he treats others, he is
better off eating (Ya'aros Devash).
The Rishonim write that some people would refrain from
fasting before Rosh Hashonoh since it was the custom of non-
Jews to do so. For this reason, the Ramo writes, many have
the minhag to eat before Alos HaShachar
(halachic dawn) on erev Rosh Hashonoh in order to
show that they are not following the ways of the non-Jews
(581:2). However, kabbalistic writings warn against eating
before dawn (Zohar as cited in Elef LeMogen
581:92). Some resolve this conflict by drinking coffee or
tea before Alos HaShachar, since it is permitted to
drink before tefilloh and drinking is not included in
the restriction of the Zohar (Elef LeMogen, ibid.).
The Problem of Toys
In the tefillos of the Yomim Noraim, we mention
that one of the reasons why we blow the Shofar on Rosh
Hashonoh is to commemorate Akeidas Yitzchok. The
medrash reveals that this awe-inspiring event almost
did not take place. As Yitzchok was on his way to the
Akeidoh, the Soton came to him with all sorts
of ploys to obstruct him. Finally when all else had failed,
the Soton told Yitzchok that if he died, all the toys
that Soroh had made for him would go to Yishmoel. At that
point Yitzchok got very nervous and almost turned around to
go home (Bereishis Rabbah 56:4).
These words of Chazal provide a powerful insight into
understanding ourselves. All of the "toys" that we grew up
with are imbedded deep within us. At times, we are willing to
sacrifice everything for Hashem, but the thought of giving up
these toys eats away at our inner essence.
A number of years ago, Rav Chaim Pinchos Scheinberg made a
kiddush in the yeshiva for no apparent reason. When
asked what the occasion was, he replied that he had heard
that the Yankees won the World Series and he had not gotten
excited over it. Overjoyed that after so many years he was
finally able to get the baseball of his youth out of his
system, he decided to host a kiddush.
Some people think to themselves, "If only I had been brought
up in a different environment I would really be able to serve
Hashem properly." This is a mistake. Hashem gives each person
specific toys in their youth in order that they rise above
them in their adulthood. Avrohom Ovinu and the four
Imohos -- Soroh, Rivkoh, Rochel, and Leah -- all grew
up in the homes of idol worshipers. Moshe Rabbenu, the
greatest person to ever walk the face of the earth, was
raised in the palace of Pharaoh. There is a special Divine
Glory that can only shine forth if a person is raised in such
an environment, and then consciously abandons it to serve
Hashem.
On erev Rosh Hashonoh, as we stand at the edge of the
Day of Judgment, we rid ourselves of our nedorim, fast
half-a-day (if we can), and wash and dress in fine clothing.
All these actions are steps toward revealing our true inner
identity. After we have reached that point, we can present
ourselves on Rosh Hashonoh as we would really like to be:
free of our childhood toys.
In the merit of preparing for Rosh Hashonoh, may we all be
signed immediately into the book of life, health, happiness,
and prosperity, both in physical and spiritual matters, for
the upcoming year.
(This article was reprinted from Days of Majesty,
available from Feldheim publishers.)
