This is a delicate topic which arouses strong feelings
amongst many sectors of the community. There are rabbonim who
are stringent about most aspects of halocho yet when
it comes to fasting, they are generally extremely lenient,
particularly in respect to women. Others are of the opinion
that all women must fast on each of the six fast days of the
year, especially, it goes without saying, on Yom Kippur and
Tisha B'Av. It often depends on whom you ask.
Most of my generation went to non-Jewish schools and fast
days were like any other school day. Three fast days before a
boy's thirteenth birthday or a girl's twelfth birthday, the
child fasted the whole day. Thus, if the birthday was before
Succos, s/he would fast on Tisha B'Av, Tzom Gedalya and Yom
Kippur, but always with the knowledge that if s/he could not
hold out till the end, s/he was permitted to eat. But that
knowledge added tremendous strength and resolve to the young
person's determination to complete the fast.
The Remo in Darkei Moshe (Hilchos Yom Kippur) mentions
a story from the Yerushalmi of a talmid who
told his Rebbe one Yom Kippur that he was terribly thirsty,
whereupon the Rebbe told him to go and have a drink. An hour
later, he found that the disciple hadn't taken his drink
after all. When asked about it, he replied that as soon as he
was given permission to break his fast, he no longer felt the
driving urge to do so. Forbidden waters are sweeter!
When R' Yechezkel Abramski was in Siberia, he occupied
himself with much soul-searching. "Why has it fallen to my
lot to be imprisoned here?" he asked himself. He came to the
conclusion that he had erred twice, in two rabbinical
decisions. One was concerning a divorce, and another in a
ruling about mikvo'os. When he was liberated from
there and arrived in Vilna, he met up with R' Chaim Ozer
Grodzinski. When he told him the conclusions he had arrived
at about his imprisonment in Siberia, R' Chaim Ozer replied
that as it happened, he had just had a similar problem about
a get and had ruled exactly the same as R' Abramski
had done.
R' Chaim Ozer discussed the second question with a few other
great men in Vilna and they decided that here, too, R'
Abramski had decided correctly. Now, once again, R' Yechezkel
wondered why such suffering had been decreed on him, since
nothing happens to a person by chance. He then remembered
that a young man had approached him one Yom Kippur and had
asked him if he could be permitted to have a drink. The Rov
had scrutinized him and told him that he should complete the
fast. The young man died and R' Abramaski reproached himself,
saying that he should have relied on the ruling of the Remo
mentioned above, and this must have been the reason for his
exile to Siberia.
Actually, R' Abramski was a student of R' Chaim Soloveitchik
(the Brisker Rov), who was known to be lenient when ruling
about a fast. When people asked him why, he replied that he
was not lenient in fasting, but that he was stringent in
pikuach neffesh.
It is a fact that the first Yom Kippur when R' Abramski was a
young rabbi in Samalyon, he turned round in the middle of
prayers, inspected all the worshippers carefully, then
approached one of the congregants, and without further
explanation, told him to go home and eat immediately. The
fellow did not want to cause a disturbance by arguing, so he
left the synagogue. However, he determined not to break his
fast, despite a weakness. "Just because a young Rov who is
not even a chossid tells me to..."
He completed the fast but about six months later, he came to
R' Abramski and asked for forgiveness. It seems he had been
critically ill for four whole months and the doctors told him
that he had brought it on himself by not eating when his body
was fighting for sustenance. It seems that just by looking at
someone's face, R' Abramski could tell with expertise who
really needed to eat.
Tisha B'Av and Yom Kippur have a special place and
significance in our calendar, and any individuals at risk
have to consult their doctor and rabbi. It is told that R'
Fisher zt'l used to advise young women in the first
three months of pregnancy to eat shiurim lest they
become dehydrated. As mentioned, it depends very much on whom
you ask [and Yerushalmi authorities tend to be categorically
lenient when it comes to women]. Each Rov is a great man in
his own right and ever since the Torah was given, rabbis have
differed in their opinions, all of which have been valid
nonetheless.
Times have changed and many people, girls in particular, are
not educated to fast on the four minor fasts. Fasting as such
is not nearly such a big deal as it is made out to be. Much
of it is in the mental attitude of the person who is fasting.
Before an operation, patients are deprived of food from the
evening before, even if the operation is only scheduled for
the afternoon, yet no doctor worries about the effect this
fast might have on the patient (providing he is in normal
good health). In a cold climate, it is not difficult to
forget about the fast altogether for much of the day, if one
is occupied, as mentioned in the first paragraph. A neighbor
of ours died some time ago at a ripe old age, and her sons
reported that she had fasted every Monday and Thursday for
years!
Rabbi Herman, of All for the Boss, used to fast every
single day, and only break his fast at night after his
evening shiur. After many years of these fasts, he
planned a trip to Europe, which was scheduled to include a
visit to the Chofetz Chaim in Radin. Mrs. Herman, who felt
this fasting was detrimental to his health, spoke to one of
their regular guests, R' Shmuel Greineman, a talmid of
the Chofetz Chaim, and asked him to get his Rebbe to
intervene and make him stop fasting like that. R' Shmuel
wrote immediately, notifying him of the impending visit.
When R' Herman came to the house, the Chofetz Chaim invited
him for a meal. R' Herman replied that it was BeHaB,
the Monday-Thursday-Monday following a festival when it is
customary for exalted people to fast. "What can I do?" said
the Chofetz Chaim. "I wanted to invite you for a meal and
Heaven prevented me." After the visit, R' Shmuel received a
reply to his letter. "I spoke to R' Herman about fasting and
I feel one should stop worrying him about the subject." Mrs.
Herman's fears were allayed and she listened to his
advice.
There are many days prescribed for fasting during the year,
and numerous men attach great importance to them without
anyone knowing that they are fasting. Maybe we as women could
all make a concerted effort to strengthen our observance of
the four public fasts which have rather fallen into neglect
in our generation.
Fasting is really not so terrible, and it is only a few times
in the year. Since we undertake to intensify our observance
of so many special mitzvos, why not let this be
another one of our resolutions.
