Although there are two months of Adar this year, Purim is in
the air before the second one sets in. Even very young
children catch on to the idea that Purim arrives in Adar.
Fancy dress is not one of the prescribed mitzvos of
Purim, but for many children and their mothers, it looms
large on the horizon.
In most kindergartens, there is a `dressing up' corner. Even
babies love putting on Daddy's hat or Mommy's tichel
and shoes, and toddling around the house looking for
applause, feeling as if they were a real Mommy or Daddy.
Dressing up helps small children learn the separate roles of
different personalities in both the adult and the children's
world. Till the age of about six, children are not too sure
of the difference between real and imaginary. In passing, a
professional `magician' once told me that he never performed
at children's parties if his audience was under six. "They
accept rabbits jumping from an empty hat with as little
surprise as if I were to drink a cup of tea," he declared.
Many homes also have a Purim box, which does not have to
serve only once a year. Another wet afternoon in a long wet
week can be happily spent in children putting on a show after
having draped themselves in the most absurd costumes.
Children as old as ten or eleven, while well aware of their
own personalities, enjoy an occasional attempt at
impersonating someone else or enacting a story. As the child
matures, this wish normally disappears, although of course,
there may be latent actors and actresses in every community
or family.
There are some children who feel really uncomfortable in
fancy dress, some who do not find it easy to separate the
real world and the make-believe world in their own minds, and
do not want to put on strange clothes. Some are inordinately
afraid of ridicule. Others are just not interested. Certain
parents spend much time and effort in persuading these
children to `join in the fun.' Cajoling the child with veiled
threats such as "You'll be the only one not dressed up," or
"Everyone will laugh at you if you don't get dressed up" or
even "I've made/bought you this beautiful costume; it's a
pity not to use it," is not a good idea.
At times, the child has something quite different in mind
than what his mother wants. If it is at all possible, let him
have his way, so long as his choice fits in with the
standards of dress and behavior which are acceptable in your
family. Many families object to guns and daggers, also to
frightening or cruel costumes. They feel that impersonating a
policeman or a soldier will somehow affect the child's
middos. Each family has its own rules and standards.
Dressing up on Purim gives children a permitted license, a
feeling of freedom, and the way a child chooses to dress up
is often a pointer (and sometimes a warning) of the way he is
developing.
Timid children frequently choose to be kings or other
dominant characters. They would like to see themselves as
rulers and leaders. It is not difficult to convince little
girls to be brides or Mommies or Queen Esthers, but as they
get a little wiser, they compare their friends' costumes with
their own and demand something more sophisticated or
original. There are fashions in costumes each year. Some
years there are a preponderance of High Priests, then there
are years of King Davids.
Creative mothers who are able to sew and enjoy it, have a
field day before and on Purim. Their creations last for years
and pass down from one sibling to the next. Others have
excellent ideas but find it difficult to achieve their
objective. They have several choices: they can either buy a
costume, which is expensive, especially if they have several
children, although prices have gone down somewhat in the last
few years. The really cheap ones are not usually worth
buying, especially the furry animals, which come apart within
a few hours and will certainly not stand up to being
washed.
The second option is to beg a helpful teenage neighbor for
assistance. Some are very obliging and also creative. Lastly,
there are quite a few gemachs for Purim costumes whose
owners are incredibly kind and patient. Some, however, may
charge as much as buying a cheap costume. Of course, these
are more extant in Israel than in other countries [though an
aunt once came with an assortment of cheap costumes bought at
Woolworth's around Halloween time], and many bridal
gemachs are happy to hand down their rejects for Purim
wear.
There is a lady in Bnei Brak who has been collecting Purim
costumes for years. She once noticed that the boys of a
particular cheder were not dressed up and learned that
the parents could not afford the expense. The rebbe agreed to
let the children pay her a visit and they emerged beaming and
be-costumed. Her gesture put her gemach on the `map'
and it snowballed to such an extent that it now boasts over
1,500 costumes and people come from afar for costumes. She
charges a fee for the hire but waives it in many cases of
large, poor families. Some factories now send her their
surplus after Purim.
[Then there is a Mrs. Perlstein who solicits adult costumes
for the residents of Kfar Shaul mental home before Purim each
year, who get a tremendous kick of being someone outlandishly-
else.]
This is just one example of several such gemachs and
of the exemplary women who give of their time and devotion to
store, clean and repair the costumes to make children
happy.
There are a few details to consider when dressing children
up.
1) Will the child be able to undo the costume when necessary?
2) Will it not come apart or `run' from spills or rain? 3) Is
the material flammable?
Too many people smoke on Purim in proximity of children, to
say nothing of sparks from firecrackers. There are accidents,
unfortunately, every year, so warn the children and keep a
close eye on them.
Wishing you a Freiliche Purim, all!
