Science is always coming up with the most amazing pieces of
information. It seems that Hashem decides to grant the
scientists a success or two on their way to proving that the
Biblical blueprint is correct after all. They are all racing
to figure out how the world began, is run, and will
continue... before Moshiach arrives and takes the wind out of
their sails.
There is one phenomenon in the heavens which can be readily
found right here on earth. The black hole, that invisible,
stealthy, gaping magnetic force which swallows all
unfortunate matter in its vicinity. And the more it swallows,
the more dense it becomes and the more magnetic force it
develops! The scientists are at a loss to describe what
happens to all of these objects once they enter into this
negative space. Perhaps it is a corridor through which
stellar garbage is recycled.
Maybe the city of Tel Aviv should investigate the possibility
of engaging the same system. Perhaps they could airlift all
of their disposables to the nearest stellar vacuum and do
away with the need for mount-scaping! We could let that
stinky old hill rest, plant a Keren Kayemet forest on it and
some day let the young archeologists dig it up and have a
field day!
Or perhaps the black hole is an incinerator neatly disguised
which burns up stellar refuse and refuels the sun through the
use of an invisible pumping system...
Why would Hashem need to create such a dark and unfriendly
environment in His universe anyway? Perhaps the black hole,
the magnetic force which crushes and destroys, is really
Gehinnom! Isn't one of the dangerous things about the street-
world the fact that it attracts? Well, the scientists have
told us that the black hole attracts and swallows everything
in its neighborhood. Sounds familiar? So once the poor
unsuspecting soul is attracted and pulled into the wrong
surroundings, it disappears for a while and... comes out on
the other end, freshly designed, clean and deodorized,
depersonalized and labeled with a new assignment for its next
gilgul!
Let's return to reality. Seriously, as I said, I have
discovered that black holes exist here on the planet Earth
and we all come into contact with them. I was lured into the
clutches of one myself, but I'm very careful to hold it at
arm's length. When my second-hand bag (what else can you call
your daughter's year-old schoolbag, which she insists on
replacing just because the color is faded and the chartreuse
zipper you so lovingly installed when the original wine-
colored one split, doesn't match?) gave up its spirit, I was
forced to look for something modern, light and practical. I
took to it immediately but I was taken, too!
It pretends to be harmlessly helpful. One simply tosses all
the paraphernalia of which one intends to avail oneself while
on the go, towards its wide, gaping emptiness and it swallows
more and more, getting denser. Then when you need something
especially direly, it can't be found! It has disappeared!
Well, at least you can rest assured that it is in the black
hole, safely stored.
Last week I did a fabulous acrobatic performance, for
standing room only, in the front of a city bus. While
balancing four limbs and one black hole, I tried to extract a
bus ticket without landing on my newly coifed sheitel,
all the while smiling and gracefully allowing subsequently
boarding passengers a passage to the back of the bus. In the
end, I decided to wrangle with my wallet instead and bought a
new ticket.
Just remember one simple rule: the black hole swallows
everything but is reluctant to relinquish anything! I
wrestled with it for a quarter of an hour when I got home and
finally found the old ticket, of course! It came out duly
transformed, spindled and mutilated, ready for another
gilgul, perhaps for a collection of black-holed, post-
mortum Egged bus tickets.
