This is the second, self contained article on
perfectionism. See whom you can recognize and what you can do
to help.
There are two definite types of perfectionism. There is self
oriented perfectionism, which is often a genetic trait or an
inherent component of a gifted person's character. Then there
is socially prescribed perfectionism, which is brought about
by parents or teachers (or others) communicating either
verbally or by implication, expectations beyond a child's
ability.
Research has shown that amongst other negative manifestations
of the socially prescribed perfectionism, procrastination is
often prevalent. Why should this be so, and what can you do
about it if you procrastinate regularly? Some people may be
afraid to begin a task which is new to them, because they are
fearful of any mistakes they might make. Thus they
procrastinate. Or they keep redoing the same piece of work,
never actually completing it because it isn't quite up to
their own expectations. This second cause for procrastination
can apply to both types of perfectionism.
We all tend to procrastinate at some time or other, with very
valid excuses. "I just don't find the time to do the
ironing," is probably because the speaker does not like
ironing. It may be mending, or marking a pile of papers, or
even making a dental appointment for a child; the outcome is
the same. A feeling of dissatisfaction and a constant nagging
at the back of your mind of piles of something waiting to be
done.
If you are procrastinating because you simply don't like the
task, get someone else to do it. Teenage daughters are quite
capable of tackling the ironing, if you do the dishes
instead. Of course, you may not have teenage daughters. You
can pay someone to do it and try to earn other money during
that time. Or try postponing a task which you do enjoy till
you have completed the one that you don't like doing. You can
reward yourself, but it is important that you actually keep
this promise which you made to yourself, otherwise this trick
will lose its effectiveness.
You may have procrastinated to such an extent that the task
has become absolutely overwhelming and you don't even know
where to begin. For example, every single room in the house
looks like a disaster area. Break the task up into smaller
pieces. Begin with one room or one floor or even only one
cupboard, or an area that will be visible to you each time
you enter the room -- and don't stop till it is finished.
Perhaps you will be motivated to do just one more small job.
That's fine. But if not, then at least you have completed one
particular task. Furthermore, you can design a reward system
for yourself similar to the one you have for completing a
task which you dislike. For example: a call to a friend, not
while you are working but as a reward for when you have
finished! There are those who will say plaintively that the
baby was crying all morning and they couldn't do a thing.
Maybe, but then do the chore in the afternoon or evening.
Just that one small task. Tomorrow is another day.
A perfectionist might say that it is not worth doing just a
small part of the work because there is no feeling of
gratification in it. A wise man once remarked that a major
project can be compared to eating an apple. You cannot
swallow the apple whole. You take one bite and then continue
eating round the fruit till it is finished.
Negative effects of perfectionism are usually only felt by
those who attempt faultless achievements in every walk of
life, in contrast to those who seek to attain perfection in
one particular field, as they leave room for mistakes in
other areas of life. If you are one of the former, relax a
little and know that you are human like everybody else. You
don't have to go into a depression because things have gotten
on top of you for a while. (Not that anyone chooses to go
into a depression, but if you are aware of the danger
signals, it might help you prevent it.) Breaking tasks into
smaller components will prevent frustration and
procrastination and allow you to enjoy small successes.
