Sometimes, it is not possible. Sometimes the school is too
far way; sometimes the route passes through an unsafe
neighborhood. Or perhaps you cannot fit it into your morning
schedule. But if you can, walking your child can be a
valuable way to help your child in many important areas.
Walking is one of the most efficient forms of exercise and it
promotes well-being throughout the body. It is relaxing,
increases the blood flow through the brain and stimulates the
production of several hormones in the brain which help a
person to be happy and able to think clearly and be focused.
A good walk can mitigate many of the symptoms of ADD and ADHD
and its neurological effect can last several hours.
It is easier to have a relaxed chat when you are walking and
even if you learn with your child in the afternoon, evening
or weekend, walking and chatting is a different experience.
Although you can also discuss learning, the relaxed
relationship lends itself to opening up and discussing topics
that would be difficult to bring up when sitting together at
home.
These are such turbulent times and children are exposed to
the media. Even if you do not have newspapers in the house or
listen to the radio or even discuss current events with your
child, there are probably classmates who are well up with the
news and they probably discuss everything with their friends.
Children need to be able to discuss with you things that are
troubling them. They need to be able to turn to you for
guidance and reassurance. Walking them to school gives them a
prime time when they can open up and tell you all their
worries.
Children also need to learn how to engage in meaningful
conversation. Speaking is the basis of writing and if a child
cannot explain himself verbally, he will probably find it
even more difficult to write down his thoughts, as when
answering questions in tests.
If the child does not seem to have anything to talk about,
you can tell him a story, discuss something you see on the
way, or just engage in light, relaxed conversation. Once the
child is `warmed up,' you might be surprised at how much he
will start to want to discuss with you.
R' Yissochor's son was becoming increasingly troublesome.
A therapist told him that he has to spend at least one hour a
day with his son. However, R' Yissochor was a very busy man
with many responsibilities to the Kehilla and he felt it was
impossible for him to find an hour for his son.
Eventually, he went to discuss the problem with one of the
Gedolei Hador. After he finished explaining the situation,
the Godol asked him how long he spent davening each
morning. R' Yissochor replied that he spent about an hour
davening.
The Godol smiled, "So you DO have an hour available. Don't
daven and spend an hour with your son instead."
This story is NOT meant to suggest that anyone can give up
davening just to spend time with his children! The
circumstances in the story were exceptional. The Godol felt
that the child's situation was desperate and that the child
was in real danger. Therefore, he decided that R' Yissochor's
obligation to help his son overweighed his obligation to
daven (for an hour). [What he really wanted to
indicate was that the father DID have the time, if he
considered it top priority.]
The story does illustrate how important it can be for a
parent to give prime time to his child. You might not need to
give up davening, but if your child's school is near a
shul, you can daven there instead of with your
usual minyan so that you walk to that shul via
the school.
Though your child might enjoy your company, he might feel
embarrassed if his friends see that his father is `taking him
to school.' So do not be surprised if he wants to say good-
bye to you before he gets close to the school.
It is important for a child to develop a close relationship
with his parents and a daily walk together can provide the
opportunity to build such a relationship. And the parent
might find that he will be feeling and learning better from
the extra walk as well!
