The rabbonim of Agudas Yisroel will soon issue guidelines
setting limits on various aspects of marrying off children,
including the engagement and the wedding, according to
reports in the press. Aspects covered are said to include the
number of people who are to be invited to the wedding, the
number of musicians hired to play, and even the type and
amount of food that should be served.
Many feel the current pressure around weddings, where even
families of moderate means feel they "must" invite more than
1,000 people and serve them food from lavish smorgasbords.
Today, a bare-bones wedding in the U.S. can cost $35,000 and
some of the bigger ones can be more than $150,000. In Israel,
in contrast, most weddings cost less than $10,000, and a very
respectable wedding can be made for about half that
amount.
According to the reports, a one-man band is the preferred
alternative but up to five musicians may still be hired.
Ideally, artificial flowers should be used from rentals and
the gown also rented.
There is to be no bar at weddings -- a few wine and liquor
bottles may be placed on tables -- and the smorgasbord is to
be a modest, primarily cold buffet. And there are to be no
more than 400 adult guests invited.
What is supposed to make the guidelines stick is that
rabbonim will refuse to attend weddings that don't adhere to
them.
The rabbonim want to also severely limit the vort,
which not long ago was nothing more than a friendly
lechayim at the bride's family's house shortly after
the engagement but in recent years has become like a wedding
before the wedding, with hundreds of guests in a rented hall
eating catered food running up a bill of thousands of
dollars.
