Are you cool? Perhaps you are chilled. You might even be a
real hood.
Fifty years ago, they called it `being hip.' Twenty years
later, the `in thing' was to be `with it.' Perhaps, by the
time this article is printed, there might be a new cliche to
express someone's being a member of the `elite,' leading,
trendsetting part of society -- or perhaps it might be more
accurate to say the group of people who imagine that
they are the elite, leading, trendsetting part of society.
A `cool guy' will dress a certain way, walk with a certain
swagger, use certain catch phrases when he talks, eat certain
foods and drink certain drinks and frequent certain parts of
town. He will imagine that he really likes it that way. He
will insist that he is really enjoying life and that everyone
else is missing out on life -- that he is really
living. And he will assert that he is really being `himself'
even though he is following the crowd and doing what everyone
else in the crowd is doing.
Being cool (or whatever) is like wearing a uniform. It gives
the person an identity and feeling of importance.
Someone who has real self confidence and is fully aware of
his own identity and the importance of his role in society,
does not need the support or approval of this misguided
group. However, someone who lacks self confidence and the
basic hashkofa of his own importance in the real
society might need the `mental crutch' of `being cool.'
Therefore, before trying to convince someone of the
foolishness of `being cool,' it is important to first build
up the person's self confidence and show him that he has his
own importance and does not need the support of the `cool
society.'
It is like trying to wean someone off junk food. Before you
can start to try to convince someone of the evils of eating
junk food, you must first ensure that he has access to
healthy food. If there is no healthy food available, then
convincing him to stop eating unhealthy food will cause him
to starve to death faster than the junk food might cause
damage to his health.
However, ideally, a child should not feel the need to join
the `cool set.' Parents and teachers should look for some
aspect of every child that they can use to give him the
feeling that he is a contributing and important member of the
family and/or class. Even if the child is not scholastically
exceptional, every child has some talent that he can be proud
of -- if it is developed and appreciated.
Rochel had a knack for finding small items that fell on
the floor and `just disappeared.' So whenever anything fell
down, everyone called for Rochel and sure enough, within
seconds she always located the lost item.
Many years later, when Rochel was the mother of a growing
family, she related how important that reputation was to her
and how it gave her the inner fiber to overcome difficult
times in her life which tended to undermine her self
confidence.
And, of course, we should not forget the most important
hashkofa: everyone has been `handcrafted' by the
Creator to fulfill his unique purpose in life -- the world
has been waiting for him since Creation -- and no one else
will ever be able to do his job.
