|
|
Home
and Family
Try a Smile
by LMW
Thought you were invisible as you walk merrily down the lane?
Actually, if you want to conduct an informal survey, you will
see that a smile is a splash of sunshine on a cloudy day. Try
smiling at someone who annoys you, a child, a neighbor or non-
acquaintance. A non-acquaintance is someone whom you
frequently meet without an introduction or acknowledgement:
in the doctor's waiting room, at a PTA meeting, on a bus
route, at a weekly shiur or at a neighborhood store.
Try a smile. The smile works on people from birth through
120. Babies thrive on love and a smiling mother starts a
chain reaction -- the baby / the neighbor / the storekeeper /
the next customer ad infinitum. And non-acquaintances become
acquaintances, acquaintances become friends...
Smiling in the Dark
Smiling is more than skin deep. It usually conveys an inner
satisfaction. But let's say it doesn't. You're in a gloomy
mood, you got up on the wrong side. You want to scream at the
world. In any case, let it pass by itself or try to do
something to get yourself in a better mood. Know yourself and
know what makes you perk up. A lively tape, a long distance
call to your mother, sister or friend. You may get a boost
from reading a nice book, taking a long walk by yourself on a
windy, rainy or beautiful day, or a bus ride to nowhere and
back. You may get rid of frustration by pounding out a big
dough and baking up some delicious bread. Straightening out a
messy room or drawer may give you the strength to straighten
out a more serious mess in your life. Or you may find that
your Tehillim and a trip to the Kosel is the best cure for
your malady.
No two people are identical and the same person reacts
differently on different occasions, and at different stages
of life. But move on. Get out of the rut. Try to pick up a
new skill. You can learn new tricks at every stage of life.
Maybe you've watched others bake up a storm, paint a house,
balance a checkbook and thought you could never do it. Try.
Success breeds success. Every stroke can give you new
satisfaction. Think of the senior who learned to swim at 65
plus and swam 30 laps across a pool, coming in first in a
competition. Think of the dyslexic lady who became a chemist.
Or just think small, of the lady who retrained herself and
started waking up at 8:00 a.m. instead of 11.
Some people are afraid to smile because in their minds a
smile indicates a simplistic person and they want to project
a serious demeanor. Some people are afraid that they will get
wrinkles from smiling. (I'd rather opt for overkill in this
area than posing as a Prunella.)
Some people are afraid that if they smile at others who are
going through a rough patch, they will evoke their friends'
jealousy, since they will seem to be "too happy" and "too
lucky" and therefore, they will become the target of envy. R'
Avrohom Blumenkrantz countered these notions with a pithy
comment, "A frum person with a smile creates a Kiddush
Hashem. He evokes a positive feeling in others that a person
who follows the Torah way is happy and secure in his
bitochon."
R' Avohom Grodzinsky, who served as mashgiach in
Slabodka Yeshiva, was constantly seen smiling at himself in
the mirror when he was in the ghetto. He continued to smile
for two long difficult years and explained that if he didn't,
a time might come when people would no longer be able to
smile spontaneously. His children carried on his legacy and
have magnificent smiles.
Perhaps developing an upbeat outlook in the face of odds
jibes with what Chazal teach us: "Rather be considered a
simpleton than a sinner." Belief buoys up our spirit and can
carry us through many a storm. And a person with
bitochon and joy is less likely to sin.
|
