Part II
This is the second section of a six-part essay especially
tailored to the Counting of the Sefira up till the Giving of
the Torah. We began by encouraging Torah-centered
conversation instead of casual talk.
The important point is to habituate ourselves and others to
speak and listen to Torah talk during our daily routines and
not to relegate Torah simply to specific hours in Kollel and
Yeshiva or in Bar Mitzva speeches. Torah is our life and the
length of our days... while we walk along the way... travel
to and fro... and while we sit down, as well as when we lie
around. But we need to work to keep it that way.
This idea of constancy of Torah talk and it becoming the
focus of our daily life is really the joy of our life and a
true Torah education for our children and ourselves.
How to do it? A few ideas:
1. Work at trying to always connect what is happening to you
or to others to thoughts about Torah, good middos and
Hashem.
Ex. Waiting at a bus stop for a bus that isn't coming?
* Speak about how irritating it feels to have to wait for
something or someone, and how we, therefore, should learn
from this and so always try to be on time, or
* Speak of ways to utilize time, and how often we waste it,
and what can be accomplished in one minute, and what a
precious gift Hashem has given us, and discuss ways to
properly utilize time.
* Or, see if there is some way to help someone who is also
waiting for the bus, for example, by trying to cheer up a
crying child or helping an old woman organize her packages
while you give her your seat.
* Or, look around and speak of the beauty of nature, or how
amazing it is that black gooky gasoline can burn and make
cars and buses go, and what a definite proof this is that
Hashem had to have delibrately put this gasoline idea
into someone's head so they could discover it because it is
absolutely impossible for a person to have just happened to
think of digging a hole in the ground and trying to burn the
black gooky stuff that he saw there.
* Or, make plans for a mitzva that can be done later,
or speak of the parsha etc.
The point is to utilize the time to talk in and talk about
Torah and Hashem, not `blah blah' devorim betailim or
just silent sitting. The more we do the former, the easier
and more natural it becomes. But it must be kept up.
A hint: never allow a meal or a conversation to end without
at least one or two Torah thoughts or Mussar
statements. If a subject is important to us, it is on our
minds, which means that we will raise the topic naturally.
Not having a Torah thought or question handy shows that the
mind is elsewhere.
If such Torah thoughts don't come naturally, make the effort
to prepare something beforehand. Not a Torah lecture, but a
topic that will be interesting to all and which is
somehow related to Torah (for a meal) or (for a
conversation) a short, interesting Torah insight or thought
that can be said on the go. Even a short halacha can
be used as a jumping off point for a discussion of how, when
and what - if.
When there are people around who do not talk Torah Talk in
this way, it is very difficult to get or return the
conversation to Torah type topics. I guess that, ideally,
one should try to limit such interactions, though, in
practice, this is not always possible or practical.
However, irrespective of this, one must constantly continue
trying to engage in Torah Talk because devorim
betaylim talk is truly very contagious, and if you are
around it on a steady basis, you may begin to regard it as
acceptable and natural. It then becomes very easy to get out
of the habit of speaking with Torah intentions and about
Torah topics. Once this is lost, it is very, very difficult
to get back into it, without a herculean effort that can
feel quite artificial.
It is thus crucial to encourage Torah type talk as soon as
possible in any relationship, and to work hard at
maintaining it with one's friends and family. The ideal to
work towards would be that when someone comes for a meal or
an acquaintance sees you on the street, they themselves
should begin to volunteer some type of Torah Talk when they
see you, knowing that you like to talk about such things.
With those people who are not used to speaking Torah Talk,
it is vital to always be prepared with something to say in
Torah in order to try to get the conversation moving in the
right direction. It is also most vital to help them learn to
express themselves quickly and succinctly when they are not
speaking Torah Talk. Without training, `blah blah' talk
tends to go on and on and on, with everyone around getting
into a `blah blah' mind set. Also, this type of speaking is
an easy habit to get into, and a very hard pattern to break.
Work on finding nice ways to say, "Hurry up. What is your
point?" when such a conversation starts meandering. For this
reason, it is also vital to train oneself and others to keep
details to a minimum when in a conversation that does not
have Torah content. To be continued...
