More stories and insights from a veteran educator.
We must treat children and talmidim with much patience
and genuine love. Never, never should we belittle any student
or child, and we should always conduct lengthy discussions
with each one. No talk is wasted. Even if we do not see its
immediate influence, it is absorbed by the talmid and
years later he remembers it. When he is more mature he
understands better what was once said to him. Many times
students have told me that now they understand what I told
them many years ago.
A godol beTorah, a rosh yeshiva, recently came over to
me and said he wanted to speak to me. He said: "I want you to
know that the shmuessen you once said in Yeshivas Beer
Sheva had a tremendous effect on the talmidim. Twenty
years ago you had a talmid who came from a secular
home. He did not understand gemora too well, and
therefore after two weeks left the yeshiva. He managed during
these two weeks to hear four shmuessen, on Shabbos and
during the middle of the week, and you befriended him warmly
at the time. He heard about simple concepts: that the world
is not hefker, the Creator of the World runs the
world, we must do what the One in charge tells us, a Jew does
not die like a donkey, and every Jew has a holy
neshomoh. A Jew has an olam haboh.
Gehennom and Gan Eden exist, and through Torah
and mitzvos a person is zoche to techiyas
hameisim. Without Torah and mitzvos, why should a person
be considered Jewish? -- All of these truths he absorbed well
and it got into his blood.
"Even when he left the yeshiva he always thought about these
simple concepts. Although in fact he behaved like a
completely secular Jew and served in the army the same way
any secular Jew does, these simple words always bothered him.
`Whether HaRav Einfeld was correct or not' disturbed his
conscience continuously. After he finished his army stint he
decided that it was true that a Jew is not a donkey nor is he
like a person of any other nation. He became a full baal
teshuvah.
"Today he studies in our kollel and is one of the most
prominent talmidei chachomim there. This is the
talmid who studied under you for only two weeks, and
because of the shmuessen he heard and thought about
over the years, and his close relationship with you, he did
teshuvah. I said to myself that I must come and tell
you about this, since it is important for us to know that no
heartfelt talk is wasted."
In short, the most pivotal principle in education for each
parent and educator is possessing a bottomless well of
patience. One should not allow, cholila, personal
scores against our children and students to mix in. We must
measure each act we do and every word we say, whether it is
for that student's benefit, or perhaps all he is doing is
subduing his anger. It is imperative to remember constantly
that we are dealing with saving lives and that,
cholila, we should not turn our backs on any child
because of impatience.
All this is especially true in our spiritually destitute
generation, in which the posuk has been fulfilled,
"For behold, darkness shall cover the earth and gross
darkness the peoples" (Yeshaya 60:2). We feel a
tangible darkness enwrapping us. Throughout the world, Hashem
hides His divine presence and the attraction to
permissiveness is overwhelming. Doubtless we must be extra
careful not, cholila, to cause even one nefesh
to distance itself from the Torah because of our over-
hastiness.
The Chazon Ish ztvk'l, the foremost Torah educator and
posek of our times, was brought to this lowly
generation by HaKodosh Boruch Hu so that we could feel
the revelation of Elokus and the Shechina
through this holy and pure tzaddik. He instructed us
to treat talmidim only with love. "We must help them
return [to Hashem] by extending love to them and enlightening
them as much as we are capable of" (Yoreh Dei'ah
2:16). We should be especially cautious to handle young boys
from irreligious homes with warmth and genuine caring.
Relations With Others
Several gedolei Torah mentioned that one reason for
the many terrible tragedies that have recently befallen us is
improper treatment of our fellow Jews. Sometimes we argue or
quarrel with others, a behavior that inevitably causes
sinas chinom, even between family members and friends.
Sometimes the hatred can flame up into real wickedness and
cruelty.
Here are some anecdotes that I myself witnessed:
1) HaRav Shmuel HaLevi Wosner, the rav of Zichron Meir in
Bnei Brak and rosh yeshiva of Yeshivas Chachmei
Lublin, always talks in his droshoh on Shabbos
Shuvoh about not preventing people from putting up their
succah even when it somewhat disturbs a neighbor. I
saw a person whose apartment, for certain reasons, did not
have a place for a kosher succah. He wanted to build a
succah by enlarging his porch, which is far away from
any building so that the extension would not discomfort
anyone. Nonetheless, a neighbor in another building enlisted
all of his sons and sons-in-law to stop the man from building
this succah. This neighbor rejected all appeals to
allow the family to build their succah, and they
suffered for fourteen years without a succah.
2) A certain Torah institution is located on the top floor of
a building, some eighty steps up. Every day about twenty
talmidei chachomim, including elderly Jews, some of
whom are weak and sick, some even suffering heart problems,
walk up, or should we say climb, these seemingly endless
steps. Naturally they do so with enormous difficulty. Three
years ago engineers sketched out the plans for an elevator,
but certain neighbors opposed the plans. Do not think that
those who opposed the plans are radical Leftists. Not at all,
not at all . . . . This is surely difficult to believe, but
it is a fact that many people know about. I do not know how
those opposing the elevator justify themselves. Do they not
have any emunah? Do they think the world is
hefker? Do they think HaKodosh Boruch Hu allows
us to behave cruelly and then escape punishment? The gzar
din for the churban of the Beis Hamikdash
was given because of just one exceptionally cruel act
(Gittin 58a) that no one protested against (see the
Maharsha).
Everyone knows that there are gemachim for almost
everything under the sun among religious people. I suggest
that a gemach be set up to provide people who are
willing to deal with those possessed of middos ro'os
and traits of cruelty and wickedness. In this way we will
show that the community protests against such behavior.
3) I remember a terrible story I saw in Yerushalayim some
sixty years ago in which a cheder child was treated
with utter depravity.
At the end of the school year a fellow classmate went over to
the smallest child, let us call him Yanki, and told him: "I
am warning you, Yanki, not to continue in this class next
year. If you do I'll break your bones." The young student was
a quiet and refined child and did not at all understand what
the bully wanted from him. Yanki did not even take the matter
seriously, and told no one about his classmate's threat.
The new school year began and Yanki was promoted together
with all his classmates. After the first school day was over,
when everyone was going home, the stout and able-bodied bully
caught Yanki. He carried out his promise and gave him a
severe beating. The bully beat up this hapless child for a
whole hour, but Yanki did not even scream for help. Afterward
he cried for a long time from his pains. When Yanki reached
home he did not tell his parents anything. His was a family
with many children, and since he did not complain they could
not know that something was wrong.
For several weeks Yanki suffered terrible pains but was
silent. It seems that he was a naturally quiet boy, and
therefore this whole episode passed by without anyone knowing
about it.
But HaKodosh Boruch Hu, the Merciful Father, did not
remain silent! After many years I met that bully, and found
that he had meanwhile become mentally deranged. Although
still physically well built, he was dressed in torn pants and
shirt, trembled like a leaf and talked strangely. I was
shocked to see him looking like this. The bully said to me:
"Nosson! Do you remember me? Heaven punished me because I
beat up that kid Yanki. I have been hospitalized in an
institute for the insane for many years and no one knows how
this happened to me. But I know . . . "
The world is not hefker. I knew that bully personally.
He was once an intelligent and extremely talented boy. But
when he beat up Yanki he was already after bar mitzvah age
and was held responsible for what he did.
