We are created with five senses through which we experience
the world: sight, hearing, touch, smell, taste. Unless you
are a florist or a professional chef, taste and smell are
going to be less important than the three others. For most
people, sight, hearing and touch are their primary sources
of experience.
What does this have to do with communication? Well, a lot.
Look at the chart above and notice how the same message can
be said using expressions that relate to the different
senses. Auditory Digital is the exception as it is neutral
and does not relate to any of the senses.
What difference does it make? Usually the wording a person
chooses reveals something about the way he represents the
idea to himself. Hence the name "representational systems"
("rep systems" for short). And this can have ramifications
in making yourself understood and in relating to people.
By the way, the above list is far from exhaustive. See if
you can identify which rep system the following words belong
to: dim, remark, inquire, amplify, solid, tremble, rought,
warm, shiver, foresee, imagine, articulate, absorb,
comprehend, want, can, know, think, glance, attuned, glow.
How about: it smells fishy, bland taste in clothes, a sour
face, a bitter winter, a sweet year...
While everyone makes use of all of the rep systems, people
tend to favor one rep system. This becomes particularly
evident when someone is under stress. Furthermore, people
will often use a particular rep system when speaking about
one topic and then switch to a different rep system when
speaking about another topic.
Take counseling, for example. Let's say that an employee,
student, child or friend wants to discuss a personal
problem. When describing the problem, people will often use
kinesthetic ("feeling") words. This is what you might expect
since the problem makes them feel bad.
"I feel a lot of pressure lately and I don't
seem to know how to handle it."
However, when considering possible solutions, many people
will change rep systems. Some people will want to "look at"
different solutions. Others may prefer "taking things out
and hearing new ideas." Still others may go into auditory
digital as it distances them from direct sensory experience
and helps them to be more objective.
"The way I see it, I am going to have to look
into various possibilities and clarify which ones
appear most relevant."
"I hear what you're saying and it sounds
interesting. Perhaps we can discuss it more
tomorrow."
"I don't really know what is the best solution. I
need to think it over some more and consider
the advantages and disadvantages of each of the
possibilities."
Recall the principle of pacing and leading we discussed in a
previous article. If someone presented you with a problem,
you would want to notice which rep system is dominant in
describing the problem and emphasize that rep system when
discussing the problem with him.
When the conversation moves to solutions, again notice which
rep system he uses. It is probably a healthy sign if the rep
system of the solution is different than that of the
problem. Usually, you would want to favor that rep system
when discussing the solution.
If, however, it is the same rep system, this may indicate
that the person is stuck in his problem state of mind. This
is especially true if the rep system is Kinesthetic. You
might consider leading him to a different rep system when
discussing solutions. This can help shift him out of that
problem state into a more resourceful solution state.
What are the percentages of people who favor each of the rep
systems? In American society, the statistics are: Visual -
45%; Auditory - 15%; Kinesthetic - 40%. My experience is
that amongst Jews there is a higher percentage of auditory.
We greet each other with "ma nishma" or "vos hert
zach." When parting, we often bless each other with
"let's hear good news..." When stating a different opinion,
we say, "I hear you, but..." Perhaps this can be attributed
to our tradition of an oral Torah and from the Torah
prohibition against making statues and images.
And if you do public speaking, be sure to use all of the rep
systems during your talk. This will help you connect with
everyone in the audience. It can also make your talk more
stimulating. With more specialized groups, consider which
rep system they are likely to favor. A group of artists will
probably favor a different rep system than a group of
musicians or massage therapists or lawyers.
Interested in doing further research, just for the practice?
Start by noticing the wording in advertisements.
Predictably, most ads favor visual and kinesthetic words.
Auditory is usually sprinkled in, too. Auditory Digital is
used when a more academic, professional impression is
desired. An ad for the Hyatt Regency Dead Sea Resort reads:
"...immerse yourself in the sparkling mineral waters...
indulge in the colors of exquisite Mediterranean and
International cuisine, and let the sound of music bring the
desert alive..." That's a pretty sophisticated blend and you
can be sure that this successful hotel chain hired a first
class advertising firm to put it together.
You, too, can get more mileage out of your words.
[For more information: call 051-985225;
info@nlpjerusalem.com]
