Naomi was tall, beautiful and twenty-five. She was also not
married. Nobody could understand why. She had had so many
wonderful opportunities but always found some reason to say
"No." It came to a point where her family began to question
if she even wanted to get married. "That's what happens when
a girl is left alone," they lamented. "Had her parents been
alive, things would have been different."
Naomi got her doctorate in Special Education and came to
Israel to direct a school for special children in Bnei Brak.
Being a close friend of Naomi's family, Ruth invited Naomi
to be her guest until she found a place of her own. But
after being together with Ruth's family for a month, Naomi
became so attached to them all, especially the children,
that she asked if, instead of looking around for her own
apartment, she could remain with them on a permanent basis.
In other words, until she got married. Ruth and her husband,
Aharon, told Naomi that they could not have asked for a
better gift from Heaven, that they felt Naomi's presence in
their home to be a blessing because she spread love, light
and joy wherever she happened to be.
Matchmakers, sniffing a potential client, approached Aharon -
- in shul, in the street, in the school where he taught.
They called at all hours of the day and night. Although both
Ruth and Aharon welcomed everyone's interest in finding
Naomi a husband, Naomi insisted that she needed more time to
get adjusted to Israel before looking for a mate.
When this was explained to the shadchanim, each one
exclaimed in disbelief, "What? She's twenty-five and asks
for time! Don't you realize that a girl that old needs a
full time angel to find her a husband? So what if she's
tall, beautiful and has a heart of gold? With yeshiva boys
getting married when they turn twenty, even eighteen in our
Chassidishe circles, seventeen is the age when girls are
tzum haben, ripe and ready for the taking."
That the matchmakers neither knew Naomi nor, very often,
even the young man that they proposed, was never a deterrant
to their enthusiasm and self confidence. In their eyes, they
were performing a G-dly service for mankind. For, as
everyone knows, what does Hashem do now that Creation is
finished? He sits back on His throne, as it were, and
matches together husband and wife!
Each matchmaker who came made himself perfectly at home,
acted like he was part of the intimate family. He removed
his wide hat, hung up his umbrella and pulled out a black
notebook from his vest pocket. [Matchmakers of this type
still exist in this day, age and society...]
If Aharon ever said that he wanted to inquire about the
proposal before presenting it to Naomi, the matchmaker was
quick to take offense. "You obviously don't know who I am!"
he'd say, getting noisily to his feet. "You're still a
youngster yourself and don't know how to treat a man with a
reputation such as mine!" He'd reach for his umbrella, push
his hat down on his head. "When I recommend someone, you
don't have to inquire any further.'
Everything on the dining room table jumped as the door
banged behind the shadchan.
"But Aharon, what did you even say?" Ruth asked her husband,
upset with the idea that he might have somehow insulted the
matchmaker, an older man. "After all, as anxious as we are
to find Naomi a husband, we need to know as much as we can
about any young man before introducing him to Naomi. And her
family in the States insist that we discuss each proposal
with them before doing anything on our own."
"Maybe it would be a better idea to discuss things with
Naomi," Ruth's husband advised. "She keeps finding excuses
for not meeting anyone even when everything looks fine. What
good is her family's O.K. when she herself isn't ready to go
ahead?"
"You're probably right. But what else can I do when her
relatives keep begging us to keep trying?"
"O.K." Aharon relented with a long, loud sigh. "Though I
think it's a waste of time! I'll inquire about the young man
in question. If it sounds like anything worthwhile, I'll
simply apologize to the shadchan. I'm sure that no
damage was done."
"I never knew that you had to be so careful when you spoke
to a professional shadchan," Ruth mused. "Before we
got married, my friends and I used to sit around making fun
of matchmakers. Looks like it's not so funny when you're
twenty-five and can't just rely on friends and neighbors any
more."
Propositions kept coming, but few seemed right for Naomi.
Anyhow, she managed to reject them all.
"Will you stop acting as though the world is coming to an
end!" Ruth's husband would tell her. "Forty days before a
child's conception, a voice resounds in Heaven announcing,
`The daughter of so-and-so for the son of so- and-so.'
Somewhere, Naomi's basherte is waiting."
Very often, matchmakers came even on Shabbos. Though dressed
in their shtreimels and satin coats, their aggressive
salesmanship was the same as on weekdays.
"Gut Shabbos," Aharon would say in grand greeting,
rising and making room for the visitor alongside him at the
head of the table. After all, they were usually old enough
to be his father. Everyone would watch the shadchan's
eyes darting from the silver candlesticks to the crystal
wine bottle to the china, from the appliqued tablecloth to
the Shabbos finery everyone wore.
"An honor to have you grace our Shabbos table," Aharon went
on. "Naomi, would you mind bringing in some kugel,
some cholent... Not even a little? Maybe some schnaps
and home made cake?"
The shadchan would be looking at Naomi from out of
the corner of his eye. In no time, the conversation would
turn to the reason of his visit.
"Of course we all know that business talk is strictly
forbidden on the Day of Rest..." he would begin with a
significant clearing of his throat, "with the exception to
that rule being finding a husband for a daughter of
Israel..."
Naomi would quietly get up and leave the room. One by one
the children at the table would also disappear.
After telling Aharon what a jewel, what a gem, what a hidden
treasure he was about to offer them, the shadchan
would finally come out with a name.
Aharon's face would invariably fall when he knew the boy in
question. Like the one time...
"Reb Yid, far be it from me to question your experienced and
wise judgment. But tell me, after seeing the girl yourself
just now, wouldn't you say that she's maybe a trifle too
tall for the boy you propose?"
"That's exactly why I thought of him," the shadchan
had answered with spirit. "Should she ever marry someone her
own size, her children would, G- d forbid, be giants."
"And if I'm not mistaken," Aharon added in the same
respectful tone, "he's also not too smart..."
At that, the shadchan put the back of his hand to the
side of his mouth and asked in a loud theatrical whisper.
"What? Nobody ever told you that it's always better when the
wife is the smart one in the family?"
He kept on going, punch for punch. But Aharon proved to be a
worthy match for this matchmaker.
"And I also hear that this young man has absolutely no
intentions of continuing with his studies, whereas Naomi is
only interested in marrying a ben Torah. I really
appreciate your coming, especially on your Day of Rest, but
I don't think that this is what we're looking for."
The shadchan lifted his head from the plate of
cholent he had allowed himself to graciously accept,
smacked his lips, washed it down with a shot of shnaps.
"Ach, du bist a kind!" he sputtered in exasperation.
"You have no idea what you're throwing away. What would you
say, Reb Aharon, my friend, if I told you that besides all
of his other virtues, this young man just bought himself a
four room apartment worth a million shekel?"
I'd say it sounds better than in dollars, Aharon
thought with just a hint of smile, but stayed his ground.
"Believe me, Reb Yid, it hurts me to refuse you. But Naomi
is looking for a husband, not an apartment."
At that, and it always came to some similar bottom line, the
shadchan would lose patience and get up in a huff.
"When a girl from a good home, especially a Chassidishe one,
turns twenty-five, you have to look away."
Aharon stood up and accompanied this one to the door. "Thank
you for coming. It was our pleasure, for sure, and we really
do appreciate your interest."
Final part next week...
