Part II
In the first part, Rabbi Grossman discussed the modern
malaise of people who lack a spiritual anchor in life and
consequently are basically bored. This shows itself even in
the lives of most people in their difficulty with the long
vacations given to children in the summer. Without overall
goals in life, they lack focus and purpose, and become
excruciatingly bored.
Writing to his son in 5698 (1938) HaRav Dessler discussed the
happiness of people in the world. HaRav Dessler noted that
people assume that there are many happy people in the world,
though when challenged to name one they may be unable to do
so with confidence.
"It seems to us too that there are happy people. Surely some
rich people are unfortunate and some millionaires have bitter
lives, but we see with our own eyes that some of them seem
overjoyed. Look how they live, how they eat, and how they
drink. Look at the positions they occupy, their travels all
over the world and the wealth they possess. If so, barring
unforeseen tragedy, they are surely blissful."
That answer is, however, extremely superficial. If we would
wish to clarify this question we would have only one way:
"Let us approach these people and ask them. We will not ask
one about the other, but we will ask each person about
himself, and in that way we will clearly know the truth. How
should we go about it? We will start by asking the rich,
those who have an abundance of gold and silver, those who
live in palaces and drive the most elegant cars. What will
they answer? They will tell us that they lack happiness in
their lives. They will say that they are indeed truly wealthy
but definitely not cheerful. One is jealous, another has
unsatisfied desires. Most of them do not enjoy domestic
harmony, either because of problems with their sons or
daughters or other troubles caused directly by their wealth
since no person ever attains all his material aspirations.
"If so, happiness cannot be found with them. Let us ask
others, the middle class. We see they work many hours and
work hard to gain money. Let us stop for a moment and think
whether they possess real happiness. We are confronted with
an amazing circumstance. Throughout their life they are busy
preparing the ultimate happiness for themselves but are not
actually happy at the moment. When will they have the spare
time to enjoy themselves and be blissful? The answer is:
Never! When they become old they will find themselves unable
to do anything. They are accustomed to working and now have
no strength to work. They find no reason to live and look
like the shadow of a living person, and that is how they look
at themselves too.
"If so, where are those who live happy lives in this world?
This is our question, and no human being has an answer for
us. The voices, of those who once lived in this world,
answer: `No one lives happily!' This is quite clear and is
beyond doubt.
"You might ask: Why did HaKodosh Boruch Hu create a
world so that everyone -- truly everyone -- suffers so much?
This is an impossible situation! Surely there must be a way
to remedy this terrible situation, this horrible tragedy that
is happening to everyone. We must search for the remedy and
find out where one attains happiness, since doubtless,
Hashem, Who is the source of all good, prepared happiness for
people in the world He created. To find out what is the
remedy we must clarify what is wrong, since only a doctor who
knows what the disease is, can cure the patient. What is
wrong with the whole world that is ruining our happiness in
life?"
"The root of this mishap," explains Maran HaRav Dessler, "is
explicit in Chazal: `Jealousy, lust, and honor remove a
person from the world' (Ovos 4:28). The world that
HaKodosh Boruch Hu created is in essence a world of
happiness. The problem is that people have removed themselves
from this blissful world and live instead in a world of
suffering caused by these three powers, `and if a person
flees from jealousy, desire, and honor, if he chases them
away from his heart, he will correct his world, and the world
will be full of happiness from one end to the other.'
"Apart from happiness, he will also enjoy wealth, as the
statement of Chazal reads: `Who is a rich person? He who is
happy with his lot' (Ovos 4:1). Chazal did not teach
us that he is also rich. Nor did they write that he is
exceptionally rich, but rather they write that he is rich.
This is because a poor person is someone lacking, someone who
desires something but does not attain it.
"When we think into the matter we will realize that the
difference between a poor person and a rich one is not as
much as that between a rich one and his unachieved desires.
The poor person cries out for bread because he is hungry, and
the rich person cries out for honor and lusts that he has not
achieved. If we look at each one of them as he feels about
himself -- not the rich through the eyes of the poor -- we
will see that it is terrible for both of them. Each one feels
oppressed, suffers exceedingly and has a bitter life. Only
one who lacks for nothing is rich.
"What then is the way to prevent any disruptions of
happiness? Who is the person who is really happy? Is it
enough for him to chase away all his earthly desires and
aspirations? No. This is not enough. Can someone be
considered alive if he does not have any ambition and does
not exert himself? Elderly people who are near their end are
not blissful.
"This is the solution: No material happiness exists in the
world. Only spiritual happiness exists. No one but a person
rich in spiritual achievement is happy.
"This is why we see that true bnei Torah, those who
engage entirely in Torah and its wisdom, are those who feel
real happiness. Not only will they feel this happiness in
olam haboh but also in olam hazeh. Surely
someone who lacks aspiration and vigor is not blissful since
these are the basis of happiness.
"But when is this so? This is when the aspirations are
fulfilled, not dependent upon others, not fulfilled through
jealousy and chasing after honor. This is when aspirations
are motivated by love of Torah, of wisdom, and of
mussar. Adopting these aspirations depends wholly upon
us. To the same degree which we increase our vigor and our
aspirations, so will our happiness in olam hazeh
increase. This is what the Mishnah (Ovos 6:4) means:
`This is the way of Torah. Eat bread with salt . . .' -- if
you are prepared to do that because of your desire to study
Torah, then it does not matter in the least whether you are
rich with material wealth or are poor -- `you are
praiseworthy in olam hazeh.' You are the person who is
truly happy in this world. Such is the truth about acquiring
happiness in olam hazeh."
@Big Let Body=The secular world is experiencing a value
crisis and a feeling of helplessness by realizing that
material gratification neither satisfies them nor brings them
happiness. Our duty is to strengthen the walls of our camp.
We must base the education of our youth on the pure spiritual
values of the Torah, and only Torah.
The rich child's complaint to his mother that he has no means
of resisting his inclination to engage in violence, since
"You never taught me to restrain myself", must ring loudly in
people's ears. It must teach us that through worldly
pleasures and physical desires one does not gain happiness.
Always giving a child what he wants spoils the child. The
abundant pleasures that a child receives are no more than a
destructive force which deceives the young soul and does not
satisfy it.
Through Hashem's abundant chesed, a generation has
arisen that esteems only Torah and its scholars. Of late,
however, we have heard here and there from chareidim
that they also have aspirations for material success. They
see the pleasures of the world and attaining wealth as a
means of achieving imaginary satisfaction in life. We hear
this sometimes from those on the fringes of our camp, from
children and young boys whose characters have not yet been
sufficiently shaped, from those who have not yet succeeded in
internalizing the spiritual values their parents and
educators have implanted in them when they were in Talmud
Torah and yeshiva. If that is not bad enough, there are those
who have taken the pain to display a "model" for the
imitation of material "success."
An article appearing in an Israeli weekly "for the Jewish
Home" tells about the "revolutionary children" of the Shas
Party. These children, according to that publication, have
"formulated a new identity, different from that of their
parents," caused by a "steep climb in their standard of
living." The article relays the impression that these
children have attained all their aspirations. Not only are
they "growing in a home of Torah," but they "fly for
vacations with their parents on an average of once a year,
dress in the latest fashions, and on motzei Shabbos and
during vacations take their father's car on trips. They are
integrated naturally in all occupations open to the regular
adult chareidi."
I will not write at length and quote all of the misleading
messages and anti-educational examples appearing in that
article. None of us would wish them to be role models for our
children. This point is emphasized adequately in the few
lines we have cited above. Is that living it up the summit of
our aspirations? Should not homes of Sephardic and Ashkenazic
avreichim who are content with the little they have
and do not long for a "steep climb in their standard of
living" be esteemed? These bnei Torah do not think
their children's happiness is dependent upon material
achievements such as flying for vacations or dressing in the
latest fashions.
For many years chareidi Jewry in the Holy Land has succeeded
in forming a world of pure Torah values, where a person's
stature and the reverence in which he is held are shaped only
by his level in Torah scholarship. Genuine bnei Torah
living in chutz la'aretz always looked with esteem at
the model that has been developed in Eretz Yisroel through
the inspiration of Maranan the Chazon Ish, the Brisker Rav
ztvk'l, and all the gedolei Torah veyirah. Who
knows better then those gedolei olom that these
spiritual achievements can easily be lost? Allowing sparks of
respect for material success to creep in is enough to destroy
these achievements. In one stroke all our children's
aspirations to Torah and living simply are ruined. It does
not take long before we too, cholila, can be diseased
with the poison spreading among religious circles in Europe
and especially in America, where a person is measured
according to how much he is worth, how many possessions he
has, and his standard of living.
We are therefore obliged to implant within our children the
recognition that the really wealthy person is he who is
"happy with his lot," someone who experiences the genuine
satisfaction of "the only simcha is Torah." If they
feel this way they will not be led to follow material
temptations, not even those with a "hechsher." They
will try to copy only the geonim in Torah and not the
affluent and those with eye-popping material success who
really only have external happiness.
Maran HaRav Eliyahu Eliezer Dessler ztvk'l writes in
his letter: "No physical happiness exists in the world; only
spiritual happiness. Only someone who is rich spiritually is
happy. This is why we say that real bnei Torah, those
devoting all of their study, desires, craving of their
hearts, and energy, in Torah and wisdom, are those who will
feel the real happiness not only in olam haboh but
also in olam hazeh."
