Question: What should be the attitude of baalei
teshuvah who have entered the chareidi world towards
avreichim (kollel students and bnei
Torah)? Do baalei teshuvah have their own duty in
the chareidi world?
Answer: In my first year studying in the Mirrer
Yeshiva in Yerushalayim I studied with an old-time baal
teshuvah. One day we had difficulty understanding the
gemora and asked an avreich sitting next to us
for help. That avreich, who at the time was studying
another maseches altogether, looked briefly at the
complex section, and not only did he explain to us the entire
give-and-take but his explanation clearly showed an
astounding proficiency in the comments of the rishonim
and acharonim on the sugya. He could do this
although many years had passed since he actually studied that
sugya. We were thoroughly impressed by his expertise.
During the zman we asked him about other intricate
subjects and he answered us, generally, with clear and
correct answers.
During this period we became acquainted with each other. One
day we walked home and spoke about hashkofo and the
ways of avodas Hashem. He told me simple and basic
matters that every child knows. I wanted to tell him that I
was not a child studying in cheder but instead decided
to remain silent. I knew he was doing this innocently since
he was under the impression that my knowledge of the subject
was on a par with my meager knowledge of halocho.
Afterward I requested that he be my chavrusa in
hilchos Shabbos and he willingly agreed. The joint
study brought us nearer and we became closely acquainted.
After a number of months he began to teach a shiur in
halocho for a few baalei teshuvah and in this
way he got to know some more baalei teshuvah.
One day I heard him speaking to some avreichim in the
Mirrer Yeshiva about baalei teshuvah. He spoke
excitedly about their devotion, their readiness to sacrifice
for Torah and to study no matter what, and their other
remarkable qualities. I was delighted. I then understood that
just as I used to go home and tell my wife with admiration
about my meeting an avreich truly engrossed in Torah,
he used to go home and tell his wife with admiration about
the world of baalei teshuvah. In this way a good
relationship of mutual respect between him and baalei
teshuvah was formed.
This repeated itself when we tried to organize
chavrusas between baalei teshuvah and
outstanding avreichim of the Mirrer Yeshiva. In the
beginning the avreichim were afraid of how it would
go, but afterwards when we asked them what they thought about
baalei teshuvah they commented that they were
surprised and had genuine respect for them.
The truth is that every intelligent avreich who was
ever closely acquainted with a baal teshuvah, someone
not embarrassed by being a baal teshuvah and who does
not try to copy others, will find to his surprise that the
baal teshuvah is a gold mine of good qualities and
possesses spectacular tools for avodas Hashem. The big
surprise is that those baalei teshuvah who do not hide
their lack of knowledge and their confusion, and dare to ask
all the questions that bother them and even "demand" help
from avreichim in their Torah studies, are
immeasurably respected.
After building up this relationship, a new, mutual
relationship begins, with each side contributing its part and
strengthening the other.
You ask what baalei teshuvah can contribute to the
chareidi world?
Baalei teshuvah bring valuable assets with them to the
chareidi world, which is a blessing in itself. We do not need
to do fantastic things. Strengthening ourselves in avodas
Hashem, in studying Torah, in tefillah and
fulfilling mitzvos, if we do it with absolute seriousness and
genuine enthusiasm without any compromises, will make a
dynamic impression on the public and strengthen Klal
Yisroel.
A devoted and eminent rav, one of those who work with
baalei teshuvah, said that he attends the seminars and
deals with baalei teshuvah in order to strengthen
himself.
The gemora (Sotah 13a) tells about the episode
of Yaakov's burial in Eretz Yisroel. When the children of
Yaakov Ovinu arrived with his coffin at Me'oras
Hamachpela, Esav delayed the burial, because he claimed
that he had not sold Me'oras Hamachpela to Yaakov
Ovinu. Naftoli was dispatched to Egypt to bring the deed of
sale. "Chushim, the son of Dan, who was hard of hearing, was
also there. He asked bnei Yisroel why they were not
burying Yaakov Ovinu. They answered that they were waiting
until Naftoli returned from Egypt. He said to them: `Until
Naftoli returns from Egypt my grandfather will be disgraced?'
He took a stick and hit Esav on the head and killed him."
HaRav Chaim Shmuelevitz zt'l asks: Why did no other of
Yaakov's children ask what Chushim asked, "Until Naftoli
returns from Egypt my grandfather will be disgraced?" Why did
the Shevotim allow Yaakov Ovinu to be left in such
shame? The answer is that "they were in the midst of arguing
with Esav and with every argument they thought they would
win. Meanwhile, although Yaakov lay in disgrace, they became
accustomed to this condition. Man's nature is that he gets
accustomed to the worst possible conditions. Chushim the son
of Dan was hard of hearing and unaware of the argument being
waged between them and Esav. He suddenly saw the distressful
condition of `my grandfather being disgraced.' His reaction
was `taking a stick and hitting Esav on the head and killing
him.' Chushim, who suddenly saw what was happening, could not
endure it and ended the matter without delay" (Sichos
Mussar, 5731, 106).
This is one of the significant duties of baalei
teshuvah. As people say, "A guest sees all one's faults."
We have come to a new world and find out that not all that
people do or are accustomed to do befits a person who
observes Torah and mitzvos. Since we are new to the chareidi
world we cannot tolerate such impropriety and complain about
it. This vital duty of being a Chushim ben Dan is ours.
The Torah values criticism, and a parsha in the Torah
tells us about Yisro's criticism. Moshe's father-in-law met
Klal Yisroel in the desert. We were a nation for whom
miracles were performed and who had received the Torah, a
generation of spiritual giants, the Generation of the Desert,
the Generation of Knowledge.
Yisro inspects the camps of Yisroel and sees his son-in-law
Moshe judging the nation, as is written: "And it came to pass
on the morrow, that Moshe sat to judge the people, and the
people stood over Moshe from the morning to the evening"
(Shemos 18:13). Rashi explains: "He was sitting like a
king while everyone was standing. Moshe's degradation of the
honor of Yisroel disturbed Yisro and he rebuked him about
this, as is written, `Why do you sit alone and all the people
stand over you from morning to evening?' (V. 14)."
HaRav Yeruchom Lebowitz, the mashgiach of the Mirrer
Yeshiva, writes: "Yisro's greatness was in the enormity of
his power of criticism. He was a ger, who just now
came to Klal Yisroel, and he was already criticizing
and rebuking the nation's spiritual leader. . .. The strength
of this criticism was his virtue . . .. of having criticized
all the avoda zorah of the world and thereafter coming
to take refuge under the Shechina's wings. With this
power he also criticized Moshe, although Moshe had reasons
for doing what he did . . . Yisro, who had this enormous
power, saw more truly and understood as Hashem did, that it
was preferable to appoint dayanim" (Daas Torah,
Shemos, pg. 181). This is the power of many baalei
teshuvah too.
From Yisro we can learn what true criticism is. It is not
exposing someone's shame and does not result from feelings of
inferiority and a desire to show that "they" are not so good
either. It derives from genuine love and concern for others.
"The foundation is `You shall certainly rebuke your neighbor'
(Vayikra 19:17) and `You shall love your neighbor like
yourself' (ibid., 19:18), since without love for the other it
is mockery instead of rebuke" (Daas Torah, Shemos, pg.
173).
Yisro made a brocho when he heard that Yisroel were
saved, as is written: "Yisroel said, `Boruch Hashem, Who has
delivered you out of the hand of Egypt and out of the hand of
Pharaoh, Who has delivered the people from under the hand of
Egypt.'" (Shemos 18:10) He rebuked them lovingly.
"After such love, after making a brocho on Yisroel's
being saved, he could rebuke others. He was the man who could
truly rebuke them. Yisro was concerned with their good and
felt forced to tell them what he thought was for their good.
He could not bear seeing their suffering without rebuking
Moshe. How could he not tell them the truth?" (ibid.,
173-174)
Naturally, when someone's criticism stems from love, the
criticism is made with proper thoughtfulness and care, after
considering how to say it, to whom and when. A person who
hears such rebuke will surely accept it.
As mentioned before, baalei teshuvah can fill this
important task of constructive criticism, which gushes from a
desire to help Klal Yisroel, and help mend
shortcomings that have struck roots.
In the neighborhood where I live was a place near a
shul which was set aside as a genizah. This
place was small and filled to the brim. Despite its being
full, people continued to bring sheimos that needed to
be put in genizah and instead placed them in sacks
near the shul. Children began playing with the sacks
and burrowed within them. The sheimos scattered all
over.
On erev Shabbos when people came to the shul
the whole area was covered with dapim of
gemora, newspapers containing divrei Torah, and
other items needing to be in genizah. People walked
into the shul and stepped over the divrei
kedusha.
One baal teshuvah who saw what was happening was
surprised to see such indifference and disinterest in
sheimos that were scattered in disgrace, but he
remained silent. After Shabbos the dapim remained
spread all over without anyone picking them up. This baal
teshuvah started thinking how improper it was that those
avreichim were overlooking this disgraceful condition.
He did not want to pick up the sheimos by himself nor
could he in any case do it alone.
Another week passed without anything being done about the
matter. Our baal teshuvah could not endure this any
longer and asked the gabboim and the avreichim
why they were not taking care of the matter. They answered
that technical reasons were preventing them, but that did not
satisfy him. He continued "pestering" the avreichim
about this and finally even asked the neighborhood's rav what
could be done.
Eventually the avreichim woke up and realized what had
happened and began attending to it. The scattered
dapim were quickly gathered up. The weekly bulletin
distributed on erev Shabbos reprimanded the
tzibbur about the disgrace of the sheimos, and
during the week notices were put up throughout the
neighborhood asking people to stop bringing new
sheimos until a suitable solution was found. (There
was a problem of where to bring the sheimos.)
Eventually a number of avreichim got together and
collected money to buy a large container for genizah.
The container was bought and the problem was solved.
Another asset of baalei teshuvah is their sensitivity
to any secular or non-Jewish influence that has penetrated to
the chareidi world. Often baalei teshuvah meet
chareidim enjoying "chareidi" tapes of secular pop music.
This disturbs them terribly, and they are amazed how this
unruly music has become part of the world of people who
observe Torah and mitzvos.
One day a baal teshuvah walking down a chareidi street
suddenly heard a song from a "chareidi" tape that shocked
him. The words were, it seems, from a tefillah, but
the tune came from a barbaric German song that had won first
prize in the Eurovision Contest of popular music. He could
not control himself; he went over to the listener and said to
him, "I want you do know what you are hearing. This is a non-
Jewish melody written by a rock band composed of German
savages." And he went away.
The same is true with other improper influences. We can
certainly warn against them and explain about non-Jewish
influences to Torah-observant people who are interested in
listening and strengthening themselves. Of course, this
rebuke must be done wisely and with love and concern for
others.
Besides rebuke and telling mussar more examples of
blessed initiations of baalei teshuvah needed in our
times are available.
More than three years ago, on chol hamoed Sukkos, the
mashgiach of Yeshivas Kfar Chassidim was a guest in
our neighborhood. A baal teshuvah who knew him and
heard his plan to stay in our neighborhood during chol
hamoed asked an avreich why no one was asking the
rav to say a shmuess. The avreich answered: "On
the contrary, go and arrange it yourself." He added that the
baal teshuvah should first try to find out whether
people are interested in hearing the shmuess. The
baal teshuvah went over to various avreichim
and received evasive answers, together with suggestions about
how to arrange the shmuess in a more efficient manner,
along with a wealth of imaginary doubts, until it seemed to
him that there would be no hope of the shmuess ever
taking place if he went on speaking with the
avreichim. He rejected all the suggestions of how to
set up the shmuess more efficiently and went over to
the rav himself and asked him to say a shmuess. The
rav agreed.
Afterward our friend started having weighty doubts that
perhaps people would not come to hear the shmuess and
began regretting that he had not done as the avreichim
had told him. But he immediately came to his senses and
girded up his loins, printed announcements about the
shmuess taking place, and hung them throughout the
neighborhood and those nearby. He prayed that nothing bad
would happen.
On the night of Hoshanna Rabbah the shmuess
took place in the shul, which was packed. After the
shmuess some avreichim approached him and
thanked him, saying yeyaeshar koach. They told him
that they were impressed by his initiative and the efficient
arrangement of the shmuess. In the coming years the
shmuess on Hoshanna Rabbah night became a
permanent feature in the neighborhood.
I heard a wonderful story about an old-time baal
teshuvah who thought that a kollel should be set
up whose members would study at a quicker pace than is normal
in the yeshivos and kollelim. He asked HaRav Shach
shlita whether he agreed to the suggestion, and told
him the name of the man he intended to ask to head the
kollel: an eminent talmid chochom zt'l.
Afterwards he approached the talmid chochom with his
suggestion and added that HaRav Shach had agreed. The
talmid chochom thought it over and said that he
already gave shiurim the whole day, so his schedule
was already full.
But the baal teshuvah did not take "no" for an answer.
He begged the man's pardon, and then told them that before he
had done teshuvah his whole life was also perfectly
set up, but nevertheless . . .. The next day the talmid
chochom called him up and said that because of his rebuke
he had not slept the whole night. He accepted the offer.
We have cited some minor anecdotes where the criticism and
initiation of baalei teshuvah were a blessing. The
truth is that we encounter daily small incidents in which we,
the Chushim ben Dan, who are not used to certain conditions
and ways of behavior, jump like someone bitten by a snake,
while others who have become accustomed do not see anything
seriously wrong. This is our opportunity to be helpful to
Klal Yisroel.
Without much fanfare, modestly, without verbal violence or
show of force, we should point out what should not be done,
and we should repair breaches in Yiddishkeit, initiate
projects, shiurim or shmuessim, and utilize the
freshness and vitality that characterize baalei
teshuvah, so we can add to and benefit Klal
Yisroel.
