Suddenly, it seems as if the entire world is full of twins!
At first, I thought twins were rather irregular on the
average scene. Apparently, not so. Everyone I meet these days
has a very close relation to the subject -- a sister-in- law,
aunt, neighbor etc. who also have twins. And by her it
was...
And here begins the megilla of eitzes-for-
free.
Even neighborhood children have something to say. As one put
it, "We have a special campaign here in Ramot: for every
child born these days, you get a bonus one thrown in." Or,
another popular axion, "Chaver meivi chaver -- One
member brings another." From my brief experience, I would
like to offer some advice to those of us who might follow my
footsteps in the future:
1. DON'T accept ANY advice (including this)! Want to know
why? Here is a possible script:
Concerning nursing, choose any of the following, or invent
your own:
* My neighbor nursed both babies fully, simultaneously, for
an entire year. You should really try it! For the information
of the uninitiated, there is a special twin-nursing cushion
that accommodates both infants without compromising the
mother's back. Your neighborhood may have one for loan as
part of a gemach. [If not, contact the Family editor
for more information.]
* Nurse one baby fully at each feeding, while giving the
other baby a bottle. Keep records to make sure that each gets
an equal chance.
* Don't dare nurse! It will drive you bananas. A mother must
know her priorities and know where to conserve her precious
energies. A mother cannot possibly nurse two babies
adequately when there are other children at home.
* There is nothing like Materna Mehadrin. Only kosher food
for your baby! Dairy formula? Under no circumstances? Only
soy! Why take the risk of allergies and complications like
diarrhea, earaches and running noses that result from
sensitivity to milk?
Another example of twin standards? Bevakasha!
Familiar with the well known debate regarding back-stomach?
(If not -- go ask the famous R' Amnon Yitzchak -- who has a
tape on it -- though his deals with the roasting spit of
Gehinnom...) What is the prevalent practice these days? Well,
it all depends where you give birth and what is popular at
the moment. Most authorities agree these days that during the
night and when the baby is sleeping, the back or side is
preferable.
When the child is awake, it is advisable to lay him on his
stomach, but if you put him to sleep on his stomach,
you are committing the worst sin/crime imaginable! (And I do
think it is considered legally criminal these days!)
Incidentally, in Hadassah, where I gave birth, I was shocked
to see the nurses actually laying the child on its stomach!
So go follow other people's advice...
2. How darling it is to dress twins alike! Everyone loves it -
- mother and siblings alike. Besides, it's good business for
photo shops.
But, if after half a dozen or more children up front, you've
accumulated some very nice baby outfits that don't have their
doubles or matches (girl-boy, if that is the case), don't
ditch them by any means. In most cases, the twin outfits
don't last more than half an hour before one of the babies
has spit up, dirtied, vomited or wet (check appropriate
choice) and needs an overall overhaul. Don't bother changing
the other. His turn will come before you know it. Just
remember to snap the pictures in time!
3. The only advice I accepted from wise women was not to
decline help when it is offered! Az men git dir --
nem!
Someone wants to take the twins out for a walk! By all means!
To send a girl over to wash the floors? Why not? Night shift?
Ironing? Thanks, and yes, thanks. It may require an effort on
your part to accept and be beholden, but it does lessen the
load and add hours to your day. Just remember to be duly
grateful and appreciative to one and all.
When it comes to outside food, it will probably make no
difference whether you decline or not. At the beginning, at
least, people will inundate you with cakes and kugels
without a by-your-leave. We filled our freezer and those of
our immediate neighbors with these, and still it was not
enough. No amount of refusals helped in this area, for when
we cried `Help,' all we got was another generous helping of
cake, with or without frosting. In this case, if there's room
to open your mouth to scream `Help,' there must be room for
another slice of cake...
There are plenty of other areas for advice-giving, but you
won't listen to me, anyway. Just one more example: If and
when you also have twins, and the probability seems to run
high these days, do your best to avoid anyone else with twins
(except for me, of course).
When I was in the hospital after the birth, I was
platzing for some sleep. My roommate was also
desperate for it, but sacrificed this overpowering need so
that she could enrich me with her own vast experience in
raising twins. After two days of her generous advice, I swore
not to share a room with a mother of twins in Beit
Hachlama. For the first two days, I had my wish. But then
along came a new mother who had just given birth to twins.
Where to put her, if not next to me, seasoned mother? And how
could I resist?
Conclusion? Draw your own and leave me out of the picture. I
have other things to do.
