The definition of surprise is the emotion caused by anything
sudden or contrary to expectation. Something that causes or
is intended to cause someone to be taken unawares. A surprise
can be pleasant or unpleasant, but is only a surprise as long
as the listener or recipient did not have a clue that it was
coming.
Children might be expecting something special for Rosh
Chodesh or for their birthdays, and Mother or Teacher will
say, "I want it to be a surprise, so I am not telling you
what it is."
The surprise can be a powerful tool in education, but loses
its efficacy if used too often. The promise of a surprise on
the table in the morning is a wonderful incentive to get
children into bed or out of bed and dressed, in the minimum
of time. However, the promise should be used sparingly, and
with discretion. A surprise gift shows a child, or even an
adult, that the giver was thinking about him, and feels that
he is important, and that he is valued.
If a mother breaks with routine very occasionally — for
instance, she decides to take the children out after they
have eaten instead of beginning the bedtime routine —
this will be a complete surprise to them, and a memorable
experience.
A woman knew that her niece was in the country with her
husband, and decided to make a welcoming party for them one
night. Unfortunately, the boot was on the other foot. She
returned from work one afternoon, exhausted, knowing that her
house looked disorganized and untidy, and that she had not
prepared a meal for the children. There was a ring at the
door: her niece had decided to surprise her, so that she
would not go to the trouble of preparing anything special for
them!
A surprise, whether pleasant or otherwise, can have a
disastrous effect on the recipient if sprung too suddenly.
They tell the story of a man who won the jackpot, in the
national lottery. They decided that it would endanger his
health if he were to be told too suddenly, so they brought a
psychologist along to help prepare him for the windfall. The
psychologist broke it to him slowly: "What would you do if
you suddenly had $1000?" he asked him.
"I would probably invest in a new fridge," was the reply.
"And if you were to suddenly get $10,000?" was the next
question. "I would probably get my wife a new kitchen." Thus,
slowly, by degrees, the psychologist edged up to the amount
he had actually won. "What would you do with one million
dollars?" he asked finally. The lottery winner had no idea
why his visitor was playing parlor games, and answered
impatiently, "I would give half of it to you." The
psychologist collapsed onto the floor in a dead faint at the
unexpected reply!
A young woman heard that her parents were going to pay a
surprise visit to her sister-in-law, the mother of several
young children. Several years later, the young mother is
still grateful to the sensitive sister-in-law, for tipping
her off a few hours earlier, saving her from a 'surprise'
which would have caused her a great deal of embarrassment.
All the siblings wanted to arrange a surprise party to
celebrate their parents' silver wedding anniversary. The
married sisters were to supply the food, and the ones still
at home would set the table. They fixed the time for nine
o'clock at night, when the father usually returned from his
evening shiur and the mother finished her regular
evening class. The preparations went very smoothly: the
parents did not suspect anything, and the daughters outdid
themselves with their beautiful cheese cakes and other
delicacies.
It was well after nine-thirty before their mother came home.
She had gone to the wedding of a colleague's daughter (and
was now 'meaty'). She was effusive in her praise of all the
effort which had gone into the preparations, and was sorry
that their father would not be home till very late indeed. He
had gone to settle something at the other end of town. The
mother, who did not want to disappoint her family even more,
did not tell them that she had a pile of tests to mark that
night, before parent-teacher's evening the next day. She knew
she would have to be up most of the night when the family had
gone home. The party would have been more successful if it
had not been such a surprise, if they had planned it
together!
Some people seem to feel that animals also enjoy a surprise!
Many years ago, when knitting was in vogue, I was in a London
department store, choosing some wool. It was the middle of
December, when shops are usually crowded. A well- dressed
woman asked the assistant if they had any patterns for a
dog's coat. "What size is the dog?" "About so big," answered
the customer, spreading her hands to about 14 inches. "Why
don't you bring the dog in?" suggested the assistant. She was
too polite to laugh when the woman said, "Oh no, I want it to
be a surprise for her."
A man phoned his elderly mother to tell her elatedly that his
oldest daughter was getting engaged that night. The woman was
astounded and asked numerous questions, not quite believing
that they were speaking about her beloved granddaughter.
Finally, she asked her son, "Tell me, why didn't you let me
in on the secret a little earlier?" The son was too excited
to notice that his mother was rather hurt by the fact that
she was only informed when the engagement was made public.
It seems that most people are not too fond of being
surprised. In my experience, even small children prefer to
look forward to an event, rather than having it sprung upon
them. Adult sons or daughters who come from abroad
unexpectedly, without informing the parents, are not always
doing them a kindness. It really depends on the surprise and
on the person being surprised. As believing Jews, we expect
the Moshiach to come at any time of day, today, or any other
day. We have to remember to be ready for his arrival, and to
prepare for the event: that we are not caught unawares, and
that it should not be a surprise for us!
