Welcome to the city of Bedrest, located in the Land of
Lowered Standards. You probably didn't choose to be here, and
hope that you won't have to stay long. The scenery here is
OK, but after a while you find it getting pretty boring. The
population can be incredibly limited or not; partly it's up
to you. The climate of Bedrest usually is even better than
that of the rest of the world; you never get rained or hailed
on or have to deal with mud on your shoes. In Bedrest,
there's no waiting in line at the post office or having to
stand up on the bus when there are no empty seats. Despite
these advantages, many in the populace of Bedrest suffer from
unpleasant emotions.
There are two most common thoughts. One is of feeling
useless, of not being productive (as if only someone who is
productive is of value). A sentiment frequently heard from
Bedrest citizens is, "But what am I DOING all day?" They need
to be reminded that they are involved in the great
mitzvah of guarding their health (and if expecting,
that they are additionally building Klall Yisroel). Hashem,
Himself, has invited them to Bedrest, as at this time in
their lives, He sees that this is the very best location for
them.
The other sentiment is of anxiety and exasperation, feeling
that the house is going to pot without the mainstay
maintenance person to valiantly wage the daily (hourly?) war
against chaos. It's tough, no denying it.
Fortunately, former residents of Bedrest who have since
returned to the World at Large have researched these issues
and offer these tips: A positive attitude is your strongest
ally. As far as feeling unproductive, combat that suggestion
of the Yetzer Hora by taking out a Tehillim and praying for
your own health, that of your unborn baby if applicable, for
your family, and for Acheinu Kol Bais Yisroel.
What power: praying selflessly for all other Jews who are
sick, in need of livelihood, longing for children, searching
for their mate, facing antisemitism, fighting terrorists, or
struggling to find their way to Yiddishkeit.
Homebound elderly, this applies to you, too. You might find
that your sojourn in Bedrest has been THE MOST productive in
your life!
Fortunately, in this age there are plenty of Kosher books,
newspapers, tapes and magazines available, and depending how
organized you are, you could have a daily seder in
Shmiras HaLoshon, Hilchos Shabbos, and mussar,
say, before diving into your "for pleasure" reading.
Writing letters (articles, or books) can be done in bed, as
can mending, embroidery or needlepoint. Now you finally have
the time you always wanted for thinking about and deciding on
life goals. You can start a "gratefulness list" and see if
you can find at least a few items to add each day.
Eyes getting tired? Give them a break and listen to music
tapes or shiurim. If you have a phone jack nearby, you
can use the phone for chessed ("visiting" the
homebound, giving chizuk to others, making
shidduchim, etc.) as well as ordinary goodwill
conversations with friends. Those are standard ideas, but if
you want something a little more unusual, you could try
jewelry making, weaving, quilling, crocheting, drawing, or
whatever you can convince someone to pick up for you in a
crafts store.
Regarding the other problem, of the house falling apart,
well, Bedrest IS located in the Land of Lowered Standards.
The choices here are to either get outside help, prevail upon
family to pitch in, use time and energy savers like
disposable plates and convenience foods, to accept that for
now the environment is not going to look as `immaculate' as
it usually does. [Let it look maculate for a change.] Take
comfort that hardly any homes in Bedrest are spotless,
either. You can also use your time making menu plans, grocery
lists, and jobs to be delegated to help whoever is taking
over for the homemaker in the interim.
Try to look for advantages and opportunities in Bedrest, so
that although you might not want to live there, it will have
been a growth experience to have visited.
(Attention: Former and current residents of Bedrest: others
would love to hear your ideas/suggestions - send them in to
the Yated HOME AND FAMILY EDITOR: FAX 02-5387998,
email shyated@netvision.net.il or Weinbach, Panim Meirot 1,
Jerusalem, and we'll all be helping each other.)
