With a soft knock on the door, my husband peeks into Room
405. He finds me reclining on a propped-up bed, reading a
book, with little Shaina sleeping peacefully in the bassinet-
on-wheels next to me. "This looks like a good set-up," he
comments with a satisfied grin.
And he's right. It is a good set-up. That happened yesterday,
my first day in the Beit Hachlama since my most recent birth.
And now as I again recline on my soft bed, I am filled with
appreciation for the luxurious opportunity this special place
provides.
For those who have not yet tasted the Beit Hachlama
experience, (I only began coming after my fourth was born), I
will describe the scenario. When you first walk into the
building with bundled baby in your arms, you are greeted with
a tastefully furnished lobby full of double seats and coffee
tables. A pleasant secretary greets you with a sincere "Mazel
Tov!' After answering some basic questions, another woman
leads you to your room.
You can choose between a private room and shared room, the
latter being somewhat less expensive. She opens the door to
expose a carpeted, immaculate, attractively decorated room
with textured walls, a wooden closet, bed and night table.
Each room has its own washroom and air conditioner/heater. A
maid comes in daily to clean and vacuum. In other words,
welcome to a 5-star hotel. [If there is no swimming pool, the
lavish menus make up for it!]
The hostess explains visiting hours and meal times and shows
you where the nursery is. How much you want to see your baby
and keep him/her next to you is up to you. Those with private
rooms may keep their babies with them at night, so long as
they sign accepting full responsibility. Each mother can
request which feedings she wishes to give herself and which
she prefers the nurses to give, either with formula or her
own expressed milk.
To add to the pleasant ambience, the walls throughout the
building are decorated with pictures of pleasant scenes and
cherubic babies. The nursery, too, has a nice atmosphere, and
the baby attendants and nurses are generous with smiles. What
I find most accommodating is their understanding of each
mother's desires, either to rest as much as they can ("Please
feed and change my baby") or to quietly bond with her baby
("Please let me know as SOON as the baby cries"). Of course,
with so many babies to care for, it is no easy task, but they
try their best.
The spectrum of mothers at the Beit Hachlama always amazes
me. In the dining room, one hears a chorus of English,
Hebrew, Yiddish and Russian. Some women are here with their
first child, while others are mothering No. 12. Some with
twins, or even more! Some come wanting to shmooze and spend
an hour and a half at each meal, while others prefer to keep
to themselves.
While the backgrounds differ, all the women come here with
one goal: to recuperate from their pregnancy and birth, so
they can return to their homes refreshed and ready to adjust
to their new family circumstances. I've met here first-time
mothers who worry about taking on the full responsibility of
caring for a newborn. The young women's mothers live far away
or maybe live here but have a whole brood at home,
themselves. One woman told me her mother wanted to come from
America, but with a 2 1/2 month-old baby of her own, she
wasn't sure who would be helping whom. This 20-year-old woman
did not yet feel comfortable in her new role. The Beit
Hachlama is a good transition for her.
Many women with small or large families at home come because
bringing a newborn into the hubbub of family life is simply
too difficult. A few days [perhaps it is the nights], or even
a week or two, help a mother build up a milk supply and give
her the strength to face the tremendous responsibilities and
tasks of running a home with children. The strength mothers
gain in their stay also imbues them with patience, improving
their state of mind and quality of mothering.
The benefits of staying at the Beit Hachlama are manifold:
physical recovery, emotional stabilization (i.e. lessening of
post-partum blues), psychological fortification ("Now I can
face the kids and the laundry"). Another benefit is an
eagerness for the next baby. Not that we look forward to
another child so that we can run off to Beit Hachlama, but
knowing that a chance to be pampered comes at the end of a
long pregnancy eases our concerns over managing a growing
family. As one woman put it, "When I found out I was
expecting, I said, `Yay! I get to go to Beit Hachlama!'"
On the other hand, many women choose not to go to the Beit
Hachlama. Maybe they have a doting mother or mother-in-law
who happily opens her home to the new mother and grandchild.
Or maybe the couple feels they cannot handle it financially.
Perhaps they just like being at home or cannot bear to leave
their children. I can understand that.
For me, being here is neither a social opportunity nor a
chance to spend time away from the kids. I miss them, my
husband and my home. But I try to bear in mind that being a
mother does not equal being a martyr. If I could handle
coming home to a full or even partial load of
responsibilities two days after giving birth -- without my
husband, my children, or myself suffering -- I would. But in
reality, the time spent away is an investment for my physical
and emotional health and for my family.
In previous generations, circumstances were different. New
mothers generally went to their parents' home for a few
weeks, or their mothers moved in to take over managing the
home. Relatives lived close by. For those of us who do not
have these advantages, the Beit Hachlama is a lifesaver.
[Ed. We would like to inform the general public of the
opening of a new Beged Yad Leyad clothing gemach in Telz
Stone on Rechov Bloch 24. We are hopefully arranging for
transportation from the Beit Hachlama for new mothers to
come, as is, in robes, to shop for lovely baby wear and
clothing for the entire family. For pennies, they can stock
up and spare themselves the first laundry load!
For hours and details, for volunteering and clothing
donations etc., call 02- 5345382.]
