When Shimon woke up one morning with a temperature of almost
one hundred degrees, Tova did not quite know what to do.
There did not seem to be anything else the matter with him,
no other symptoms, and he was in good spirits, so should she
send him to kindergarten? Anyway, is 100 degrees called a
fever? Some say it is, but others disagree. Is it enough to
keep him home all day? Besides, if Shimon stays at home, then
Tova will have to take off from work, too. When in doubt,
Tova always goes to her neighbor, Ahuva Dickstein. Ahuva will
make the decision for her. She will take the
responsibility.
Who is this Ahuva?
Leah knew what was wrong the minute she picked up her
screaming baby, so she started changing him. As he was lying
there, she heard a thud. Yehudis, her `big' daughter of
three, came in to tell her that Chaim had fallen off the bed.
Leah dumped the baby back into his crib and ran to see what
had happened. She was relieved to see that he was crying,
which was a good sign, and was not too worried about the
swelling on his head. But he wouldn't calm down as she held
him on her knee, trying to distract him. She tried offering
him a sweet, and then she said, "Show me where you got a
bump," but then Chaim threw up.
Leah was aghast. She picked him up and ran to her neighbor,
Ahuva Dickstein.
"Ahuva," she began. "My Chaim fell off the bunk bed and got
this huge bump on his head." She pointed to the swelling.
"And then he threw up a lot. What do you think? Should I take
him to the doctor or to the emergency room? Or should I wait
a bit? Does he look awake or sleepy to you? I don't know what
they mean by awake..." Ahuva calmed her down and told her
what to do.
Esther Weisberg made her way up the stairs to Ahuva's house.
She asked Ahuva if she could spare her a few minutes and the
two women sat down in the dining room.
"Listen, Ahuva, someone suggested a shidduch for our
Ruthie. It's the first time. You know Ruthie; she's really
tops and deserves the very best. You know why I came to you?
I just don't know where to begin. What to ask, whom to ask.
How to find out. What are the most important points, and if
they say only good things about the boy, how will I ever find
out his faults? Everybody must have some faults, and anyway,
how will I know if they are suited to each other? These are
difficult questions to answer..." Ahuva let Esther ask all
her questions and talk herself out, and only then did she
begin to enlighten her about the intricacies of finding out
about a shidduch.
Obviously, you do not know Ahuva Dickstein. However, you
probably know someone like her, the neighborhood adviser. She
is a pleasant, likeable woman who is never too busy to answer
questions, and always has time to help others. She will never
give you the feeling that you might be intruding. `Ahuva' is
always the oldest neighbor in her building, if it is a block
of flats. Age is relative, if the building is populated with
a dozen newlyweds, with perhaps one or two children. Or if
the oldest child in the building is about thirteen and
`Ahuva' is already marrying off children.
Ahuva has made her own mistakes and has several years more
experience than her young neighbors. She knows whether a
child with a raised temperature should be kept out of school
or not. She has married off a few children so she is happy to
give others advice about her own experiences.
Hashem has placed an `Ahuva Dickstein' in every block of
flats or in every street. Even if she does not admit it, this
is part of her vocation in life. Her neighbors have turned
her into the local agony aunt. They are astute, these
`customers'. They acquire the benefit of experience free of
charge, without the pain of making mistakes.
This Ahuva does not need an office, a secretary or
letterheads. She runs a pure chessed organization for
which she just needs three things:
Patience, patience and more patience.
