All women's magazines and weekly newspapers periodically
feature articles with hints for "Getting Ready for the Big
Day" -- i.e. weddings. As you see, YATED is no exception.
How to Plan, What to Plan, How to Anticipate, What You Cannot
Plan For. All these vie with the more common "Ten Ways to
Choose a Wedding Dress" and "Eighteen Hints for the Mother of
the Groom" articles.
The amazing thing is that though I no longer have any
children to marry off, I still read these articles. Every one
of them!
Perhaps this is due to a natural curiosty to see what I might
have missed when I was host to my own child's wedding, or
it's a morbid interest in what I might have overlooked and
not even been aware of but can no longer change.
I hope that at least a significant part of my ongoing
interest in these wedding-survival articles is to be able to
offer cumulatively more helpful advice. So here is my current
"Don't Forget" list for weddings and for general catered
events.
I do hope you will want to CLIP AND SAVE these hints for a
later date or for a friend.
1. Don't forget to start wearing the new shoes you bought
especially for the simcha as soon as possible, at
least two weeks before the event.
As soon as you return home from wherever you've been, instead
of running for your slippers, put on your new shoes. This is
a must for all women members of the family and will hopefully
mean that you won't have to shlep two or three different
pairs of shoes to the wedding hall. (Yes, many people do
this.)
2. Although you already gave your photographer a list of
people you want to be photographed, designate a friend to be
in charge of working with him. Her job is to alert the
photographer to particular people you would want to have
photos of and to point out important shots he might overlook
(like Aunt Sarah who survived three heart operations and is
hugging the kalla etc.).
3. Demand ironed white shirts on the male waiters and modest
length skirts, sleeves and necklines on the waitresses. Let
the caterer know that there will be a penalty if this is not
adhered to. This is another good reason for giving the head
waiter half of his tip before the event and telling him that
the rest will be forthcoming at the end of the affair.
4. Be sure the caterer puts out lots of paper cups and
napkins [serviettes, to our British readers] at the buffet,
food and drinks replenished and that empty cups and dirty
plates are constantly removed. Preferably, there should be a
waste basket nearby.
You can designate a friend to keep an eye on that and be in
touch with the serving staff.
5. If there are no place cards or assigned seats, ask a
friend to keep her eyes open for empty chairs so that when
guests arrive late, she can help direct them to an empty
seat. It is very uncomfortable to stand at the entrance,
looking around a crowded room with everyone seated, and not
knowing where to sit down.
If there is dancing, this same friend can also be in charge
of elderly guests, or of guests who do not know any of the
other guests at the simcha and might feel
uncomfortable sitting alone.
6. Instruct the caterer not to remove any of the tablecloths
until after the last dance. Sometimes, in the staff's
alacrity to clean up, guests can end up returning to a bare
table, an unesthetic situation. [Also, we wouldn't want any
stray rings to be swept up and discarded...]
7. Have a friend in charge of distributing your personalized
benchers or borrowed gemach ones -- and gathering up
the extras afterwards for future use.
8. Be sure to bring large, heavy duty plastic bags or boxes
to transport gifts from the hall. Designate a friend to be in
charge of bringing the gifts to a locked room. Make previous
arrangements including the fee for their transportation after
the wedding.
9. Bring plastic food containers and designate another friend
to see that food leftovers are packed away for you and the
young couple [who will be ravenous at various times in the
upcoming week]. If a friend can take some extra food home to
be stored in her freezer for you, all the better. You'll
certainly appreciate it later.
10. Be sure you have a girl Friday, a `handy helper' assigned
to be near you at all times. Her job is to run and fetch the
things you suddenly realize that you need, or to tell things
to the people you have designated for responsibilities, or to
give messages to people you see from afar and have to say
something to. Ideally, she should also have at hand extra
lipstick/makeup, safety pins, needle and thread, pen and
paper and the various sundry other emergency items you will
need.
11. Make it extremely clear to all staff concerned that you
expect them to periodically check to be sure that the
bathrooms are clean, supplied with paper and that the waste
baskets are emptied. Used paper towels take up an inordinate
amount of space, yet this is one area that is often ignored
in an otherwise elegant affair.
Enjoy, but keep on top of things.
[Ed. In Israel, there are many sources of chessed-
help. Ask friends and compare lists. One person who has done
a lot of research will provide you with invaluable help. Call
the Wedding Planner Gemach at 054-453-7939. Call 02-5372303
for free dowries for families of 9 children and up / single
parent families / baalos tshuva etc.]
