Opinion & Comment
Introspection

Throughout his lifetime man is occupied with thoughts, calculations, assessments, contemplations and private remonstrations.

Sometimes they center on his family, his friends, shidduch matters, parnossoh, his apartment, etc.

More distant from his assessments is recognition of himself-- his good traits, his bad traits, his abilities and talents, what could use improvement, what should be changed, what should be done away with and what should be honed.

In Shaarei Ho'avodoh, Rabbenu Yonoh's opening statements stress the importance of this matter: "The first gateway is for the working man [i.e. a person working on himself] to know his own worth and to recognize his good traits and his forefathers' good traits, their greatness and importance and the Creator's fondness toward them, and to always strive to bring himself to that level and to always conduct himself accordingly."

Maran HaRav Yeruchom Levovitz zt'l also stressed this matter. "The first lesson one learns as a child and throughout his lifetime is to understand and be aware of the condition he is in" (Daas Torah, Parshas Ki Seitzei, p. 3).

Elsewhere he writes, "Only the select few know themselves! You should be happy that you are learning [this] here, for he who does not know himself is not even considered a man, as is written, `A man absorbed in his own pride and without understanding, he is likened to beasts and resembles them' (Tehillim 49:21)" (ibid., Behaalosecha, p. 82).

This does not refer to our personal assessment in the eyes of Hashem. We find, for instance, that many of the greatest figures in Am Yisroel spoke of their essential worth. Avrohom Ovinu said of himself, "Who am I but dust and ashes?" (Bereishis 18:27). Moshe and Aharon said, " . . . and what are we?" (Shemos 16:8). And Dovid said of himself, "I am a worm and not a man" (Tehillim 22:7).

According to Chazal, HaKodosh Boruch Hu said, "When I bring greatness upon you, you reduce yourselves before me . . . But the goyim are not so. I gave greatness to Nimrod and he said, `Come, let us build a city and a tower' (Bereishis 11:4). To Pharaoh and he said, `Who is Hashem?' (Shemos 5:2). To Sancheriv and he said, `Who among all the gods of the lands . . . ?' (Melochim II, 18:35)" (Chulin 89a).

This concept also appears in Tashlich which reads, "And we shall recall our worthlessness," meaning we must emphasize and truthfully assess our value to HaKodosh Boruch Hu. This statement addresses the necessity for man to recognize himself and recognize the selfishness concealed in the heart of every man.

Let's try to comprehend this challenge, to make it easier to understand man's task in its entirety. We will examine how this self-awareness allows us to understand the uniqueness of every individual and how much this can contribute to strengthening oneself.

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Why is it so difficult for people to truly know themselves? This phenomenon is tied to one's essential being and day-to- day conduct. Knowing oneself can be surprising, embarrassing and perhaps even startling.

"One does not endeavor to study and know oneself and one's condition. As Chazal said, `It is forbidden to take pity on anyone who does not have understanding' (Brochos 33a). The Torah speaks only to one who is involved [in self- examination], but he who is not engaged leaves the realm of humanity altogether, Hashem have mercy" (Daas Torah, Parshas Ki Seitzei, pp. 3-4).

To know himself, man has to examine his soul.

HaRav Shlomo Wolbe presents a fundamental principle in the crucial matter of self-examination: "The word lehisbonen is comprised of two roots: binyon and binoh. He who examines himself builds himself through his understanding of his surroundings. When he examines the Heavens and their wonders, his place in the world in all of its smallness and greatness is revealed to him. This is an example of how one who examines [the world] builds himself."

When one reaches a state of self-awareness he can understand his talents as they relate to people around him. He begins to understand the differences between people.

Chazal teach us this concept. "Just as people's faces are not alike, so too their faculties are not alike; everyone has faculties of his own" (Medrash Tanchumo, Parshas Pinchos, 10).

In his commentary on the verse, " . . . lehiyos lochem le'Elokim, ani Hashem Elokeichem" (Bamidbar 15:41) the Emek Dovor quotes the verse from Koheles, "And walk in the ways of thy heart" (Koheles 11:9) adding, " . . . The constant pursuit of avodas Hashem is not the same for every man. Some engage in Torah and toil all day long while others withdraw to engage in avodoh and others [engage] in doing chesed, and all for the sake of Heaven."

This idea is also found in the verse, "Vayevorech osom, ish asher kebirkoso beirach osom" (Bereishis 49:28). Explains the Sforno, "To each of them he gave the individual blessing he needed; for instance, to Yehuda regarding rulership, to Yissochor regarding the Torah and to Levi regarding the avodoh."

This principle can also be found in HaRav Shamshon Rafael Hirsch's commentary on the verse, "Vayigdelu hane'orim vayehi Esov ish yodei'a tzayid ish sodeh veYaakov ish tom yosheiv oholim" (Bereishis 25:27), which explains that the difference between their personalities was the direct result of their respective upbringing.

Quoting the verse, "Chanoch lenaar al pi darko" (Mishlei 22:6), he writes, "Raise him toward the single, great goal according to his particular ways based on the trials awaiting him in the future. He who seats Yaakov and Eisov on the same study bench, and [teaches them] the same modes of living, educating them identically in the life of study and thought, is sure to ruin one of them."

When a man understands that there is a difference between people in terms of who they are and where they excel, then he will realize it is not worthwhile to closely resemble another person. Rav Yisroel Salant stressed this point, saying, "Men darf ton, nicht noch-ton" ("One must act, but not through imitation").

Sometimes a talmid thinks if he wants to grow in Torah and yir'oh he must become like his rebbe, resembling him not only in midos, but even in his manner of speech and gestures.

In his axiom Rav Yisroel Salant teaches his talmidim that one should indeed strive to imbibe as much as he can from his rebbe--his ways in Torah learning, his hashkofoh and to adhere to his midos tovos. But the challenge is for the talmid to adapt all this to his own personality and characteristics. It is important for the talmid to properly form his own unique personality as his rebbe does, but this does not require that he imitate his rebbe's behavior patterns, which may be totally unsuited to the components of his personality. This is why people say imitation does not lead to success.

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Sometimes knowing oneself can be dangerous. In his imagination a person may think he is more important and more successful than he really is. Such a situation ruins one's self-image.

This can be compared to the darshan who thinks he is a fine speaker but in reality his audience does not like his droshos, or the chazzan who cannot understand why he is unwanted but his voice is not heard by his listeners.

The book Tenuas Hamussar records a brief exchange with Rav Yisroel Salant that pertains to the issue at hand:

A chazzan approaches Rav Yisroel Salant saying, "The congregations accords me great honor. How can I escape this honor?"

Rav Yisroel replies, "Take the tallis off your head and then you'll see how much they mock you behind your back."

When a man lives in the dream world of pride he is under the impression that everybody is constantly according him honor. Whether because of his droshos, his chazzonus, his organizing activity, etc. He lacks the tools to come down from his high level of pride and to realistically examine what takes place around him. Is all the glory and fame he feels true honor, or are those who accord him honor avoiding telling him the whole truth? For most people this is all a game. In reality they scorn this "distinguished" individual but he himself is unable to grasp the situation with a realistic outlook. He prefers to see things differently and think otherwise.

He is in a fool's paradise. Indeed such a fool may react by assuming the laughter he hears is an expression of the pleasure the listeners derive from the droshoh or the chazzonus. Thus he reinforces his erroneous, fabricated world. All of this is a form of self-defense to keep his ridiculous sense of pride intact.

Chazal warned us against this. On the verse, "You shall not defraud one another, but you shall fear your G-d" (Vayikra 25:17), the Torah Temimoh quotes the Ramo who rules, "He who defrauds himself may be defrauded." The Torah Temimoh then cites the Sma who explains, "This means he degrades himself and his soul, and the Torah did not warn against [cheating] such a person, for he is not called `amisecho' since he is removed from social mores and decent conduct."

On the other hand there are also people who do not know themselves and therefore have a limited and lowly view of their self-worth. Perhaps they did not have the opportunity to uncover their true strengths because they followed the herd, studied with everybody else, acted with everybody else and never uncovered their individual propensities and unique talents. Some people never excelled in their studies, but had they been given a chance to perform they would have discovered the extent of their strength in some area and may have increased their acts of chesed, or some other area.

By knowing oneself, an individual can find, with precision and clarity, what his true ambition in life really is.

It would seem the word "chizuk" means to strengthen what already lies in one's personality. When chizuk is needed it does not mean the element in question is completely broken. It exists, only the matter has to be identified in order to further reinforce it.

A clear recognition of oneself can bring a person an awareness of his weaknesses and virtues, allowing him to better build himself, to strengthen whatever needs strengthening, to encourage whatever needs encouragement, to grow through the merits dwelling within.

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Not long ago a yeshiva bochur approached me as I was going to the beis knesses and asked to meet with me, saying he was in need of chizuk. I told him we could meet soon, but in the meantime I asked him, "Do you think that you are the only one who needs chizuk? Everybody needs chizuk in certain ways."

Apparently there is another phase involved. Every person has an obligation to provide others chizuk. If somebody says a dvar Torah, even a brief one, why not respond with an "yishar koach," whether to a man, a woman, an elderly person or a child? Such words give the boost needed to continue.

A friend told me that after the mussar shiur at the yeshiva on leil Shabbos he went up to the mashgiach and said a few words of appreciation. The mashgiach thanked him warmly and said, "Nobody came up to speak to me after my droshoh. How could I know whether my remarks were properly understood or not?"

Everybody is in need of chizuk in such a situation. Why not thank the baal korei every Shabbos to let him know he is carrying out his task in an exceptional manner?

Aren't all of us in need of encouragement and a "yishar koach?"

There is a beis knesses where the rov gives a droshoh every leil Shabbos. His expertise comes through in the area of halochoh. It's interesting to note that after the tefilloh every member of the congregation passes before him to wish him "a gut Shabbos," "Shabbat Shalom" and "yishar koach" for the droshoh.

All of the above merely outlines these matters. In the future it would be worthwhile to delve further into the topic and write about it. This is just a beginning. We will close with a remark by Rav Yeruchom: "One should examine this and teach himself to recognize and know himself, for then he will be happy and well. Perhaps you have come here for no reason other than to learn to recognize and know yourselves--and that would be reason enough!"

Readers are welcome to send comments to R' Yisroel Nulman, Rechov Bayit Vegan 35, Jerusalem.

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