People are offering us a lot of advice, guidelines, therapies
etc. which are based on non-Torah sources, on how we should
deal with our problems, raise our children, ensure marital
bliss, achieve our dreams and goals in life and so on.
It is impossible to make the study of human behavior into a
truly empirical science because human behavior is so complex.
Empirical scientific studies can only be conducted under
stable, controlled conditions involving a limited number of
variables. Theories of human behavior therefore comprise
hopefully logical analysis and explanations of behavior upon
which the author bases his advice and therapies.
Rabbi Simcha Wasserman z'l once explained that one of
the purposes of learning gemora is to teach us to
think logically. A contemporary godol once commented
that the criticism of someone who cannot learn Tosefos is not
that he cannot learn Tosefos but that he does not know how to
think correctly.
This means that before we consider any such theory, we need
to consult with daas Torah to ensure that the logic
upon which the theory is based is a valid deduction.
Before we can accept advice from anyone, we need to ensure
that the advice is directed to the same goal that we need to
attain. The goal of the non-Jewish world is the "pursuit of
happiness." In contrast, we understand that we need to
attain happiness in the circumstances that Hashem sends us.
The non- Jewish way is to look for the easy way, whereas
we understand that "the reward is according to the
discomfort." The non-Jew looks for happiness and comfort in
this world, whereas for us, this world is only a preparation
for the next world. So usually, the non-Jew is directing his
goals in a completely different direction to where we need to
direct our goals.
Many secular advice-givers support the theory of evolution
which preaches that each successive generation is superior to
the preceding one. They generally reject the wisdom of the
past and feel it is the role of the youngsters to enlighten
the elders. Thus, not only do they feel that they themselves
are not obligated to listen to the Sages, but they also teach
that each individual is not intellectually subject to any
higher authority.
Of course, this is in direct contradiction to our appeciation
of the wisdom of our sages and leaders and our total
subjugation to the Torah.
Advice is usually based on a basic understanding of what is
to be considered normalcy. Often, when the private lives of
non-Jews are subject to investigation, we find that their
concepts of normalcy have little in common with what the
Torah requires of us. In contrast, the more we investigate
the private lives of our great tzaddikim, the more we
wonder at their perfection and greatness.
In order to attempt to analyze human behavior effectively,
the investigator needs to have some understanding of the
workings of a human being. We know that the Jew is a
combination of the body and the soul and his prime driving
force needs to be the soul.
For example, if a Jew is feeling unhappy and goes for
counseling, the first question should be, "Are you learning
Torah and keeping mitzvos?" Because without that, the
soul cannot possibly allow the Jew to be truly happy.
Most non-Jewish sources of therapy and guidance totally
ignore the soul. They also have no concept of the conflict
between the yetzer hora and the yetzer tov and
how they interact.
Most non-Jewish sources believe that a child is born innately
perfect and needs only minimal training and can be relied
upon to make the correct decisions if he is left to choose
his own way in life. We know that "Man is bad from his youth"
and needs intensive training to grow up into a good Jew.
Similarly, a non-Jewish concept is that Man has an innate
feeling for knowing what is right and wrong and this can be
used reliably for making important decisions. Therefore, a
person only needs to meditate and think into himself in order
to know what to do. Using such techniques, they develop their
own systems of guidance and therapies. When a lady presented
this concept to one of the gedolei hador and asked if
she could make decisions based on her meditations, he laughed
and said, "Are you greater than our mother Rivka? When she
felt the conflict within her, she went to Yeshivas Shem and
Eiver to consult daas Torah."
For thousands of years, we have been successfully rearing
generations of people whose level of spirituality,
sensitivity and righteousness is so high that even now, it
can barely be appreciated by the non-Jewish masses.
The Talmud does concede that we can believe that there is
some wisdom among the nations, but the necessity for such a
statement in itself indicates that we would otherwise assume
that they have nothing to teach us.
This means that unless the advice is confirmed by daas
Torah, we should assume that advice from non-Jewish
sources on issues such as how we should deal with our
problems, raise our children, ensure marital bliss, achieve
our dreams and goals in life etc. is illogical, misdirected,
based on insufficient knowledge of the nature of a Jew and
ill-conceived.
