Part II
THE HOMECOMING
Synopsis: I already had three children at home... Thanks
to the blessings I received from Hagaon R' Elyashiv and Harav
Yitzchak Zilberstein, and the ongoing care of two excellent
doctors, to say nothing of the continual intense prayers of
my tzadekess mother, I gave birth to four healthy
sons.
Blessed Babysitters
I left the Mother and Baby Convalescent Home and returned to
my family, which now numbered seven small children. The
moment I arrived home, the Bayit Cham Chessed Organization of
Rabbi Lieberman's Beis Yaakov Seminary (Seminary Hachadash)
sent us volunteers who helped us round-the-clock, enabling me
and my husband to rest and even to eat. The girls came in
pairs and alternated shifts every two hours. Many of these
volunteers still continue to come, even though four years
have passed since the birth of the quads.
During this year's snowstorm, when there was no
transportation, it was very difficult to occupy the quads at
home. I tried to devise all sorts of activities and projects
to keep them busy, but eventually ran out of ideas. Suddenly,
the bell rang nbv. Two volunteers were at the door.
"Sorry we're late," they apologized. "It took us a long time
to get here by foot." But it was clear to them that despite
the difficulties, they had to show up. After all, this was
their regular shift.
Our entire neighborhood of Har Nof also participated in this
chessed, revealing itself in all its glory. Women sent
us warm meals, fed the quads and changed them. They also sent
their daughters to help out on a steady basis.
The girls would knock on the door and ask, "Can I take some
of the kids out for a walk?" These girls also came at night,
sparing us the major expense of a night nurse.
Help Round-the-Clock
One night, an eighteen-year-old neighbor arrived and said,
"Now you're going to sleep." Those words were magical for me.
In the middle of the night I got up, thinking that she might
need help. When I opened the door to the quad's room, a
surprise greeted me. The babies were all asleep and the girl
was sitting beside them saying Tehillim. I will never forget
that blessed night.
After the birth of my most recent child, Moishe, families in
Har Nof would take the quads out in the afternoons and return
them in the evenings, bathed and fed. All I had to do was put
them to bed. Thanks to these wonderful families, I was able
to organize myself, take care of the older children and of
Moishe, who was born when the quads were three. We doted over
him as if he were a ben yochid, which, in one sense he
was, compared to the quadruple blessing preceding. We
delighted in every one of his antics and enjoyed every ounce
of his sweetness. Apparently, there is no limit to the
strength Hashem can confer on parents.
How did I manage to coordinate all these volunteers? I hung a
large chart on the door of the quads' room, which each
volunteer filled when she finished her shift. The chart
included the names of the quads, when and how much they had
eaten. There was a special column for comments. One time, one
of the volunteers wrote, "Benzy sneezed." It was so cute.
That comment showed us how important each baby's movement was
for those volunteers.
One time, one of the quads was fed twice, at the expense of
his brother. And then both of them screamed -- one from
hunger and the other from a stomach ache. But that was only a
one-time blooper.
Both mine and my husband's family live out of town, so that
these girls were our main support. They helped us with such
mesirus nefesh and in so many ways. Bathing the
children was like working on an assembly line. Another feat
was cutting their fingernails, forty in one sitting!
The Other Children
Each of our other children reacted to this surprise
differently. Our only daughter, our princess, was very upset
that I hadn't been able to come to her first grade welcome
party. I was in the hospital at that time and was only a few
days before the birth. Even though I sent my sister instead,
my daughter felt lonely and deprived. When she came to visit
me that afternoon, she complained petulantly, "You were the
only mommy who didn't come. During the party, I went over to
the water fountain in the hall and began to cry. But no one
noticed me." But a number of days later, when the quads were
born, she jumped for joy.
A while later, her teacher told me, "Your daughter is so
cute. Do you know what she did? After you gave birth, she got
up on a chair announced, `My mother had quadruplets.' That
takes courage, especially for a child in first grade. At the
time, I smiled at what I assumed was an imaginative joke and
told the other teachers about my spunky student. But then one
of the teachers who had already heard the good news said,
`She's right. Her mother just gave birth to four boys!' I was
stunned and rushed into the classroom and gave your daughter
a big hug."
After that, my daughter doted on her four new brothers. My
youngest child, though, was a bit frightened and confused by
the new additions to the family. On the one hand, he had
received a special gift: four new friends. However, Ima and
Abba were so up to their necks in work that they were unable
to give him as much attention as he had received before. We
tried not to neglect the other children, but raising the
quadruplets involved a mad round-the-clock race: changing
thirty to forty diapers a day, running to Kupat Cholim and
Tipat Chalav and feeding the quads non-stop is quite a feat.
Before the fourth had managed to burp, the first was always
hungry again!
In addition to the special strength which Hashem gave us at
that time, He also endowed the quads with special
chen, charm and sweetness, which to this day gives me
the strength to plod on. Every one of their chochmos
recharges my spiritual batteries and enables me to continue
wielding this complex and extraordinary project. Every stage
in their development excites me. Look, he smiled! Wow!
He's cooing. Did he really say `Ima'? My, he's crawling
already! That's how it is with each one, even if you have
a tribe at home.
Their Bris
I'll never forget the day of their bris. Boruch
Hashem, incredibly, we merited to celebrate all four
brissim on the very same day, when they were a month
old. We had many honors to allocate, especially since we owed
debts of gratitude to many rabbonim who had encouraged and
supported us during the pregnancy. The honors of
sandak were given to Harav Yitzchok Zilberstein and
Harav Yaakov Horowitz, Rosh Yeshiva where my husband studied,
as well as to both grandfathers.
If some parents have difficult choosing a name for one child,
imagine how hard it was for us to find four names. We called
one Ben Zion, after Harav Ben Zion Abba Shaul who had given
me a blessing several days before his parting. He had been
ill at the time but due to my special situation, I was
allowed to speak with him before my hospitalization. I was
one of the last to merit that privilege.
During that period, I also visited Rebbetzin Kanievsky, who
blessed me very warmly and said that all of the infants would
be healthy and that I had nothing to fear. She advised me to
say a number of chapters of Tehillim to provide me with
spiritual nourishment at the time.
Each One Separately and All Together
I try not to relate to the quads collectively but on an
individual basis. They are very different in their
personalities, even though they look very much alike. Two
need a lot of love, warmth and personal contact, while the
other two -- beware and keep your distance!
I send each one off in the morning with his own personal
greeting, such as "Shalom, Yosef!" or "Good morning, Benzy."
In the afternoon, I welcome each one home on an individual
basis, even though they arrive one after the other. Each one
is greeted with a "Shalom" and a "Hope you had a nice day" as
well as with a drink and a hug.
Every now and then, I try to give one of the quads undivided
attention. At that time, he is my only child. Such times are
very important for them. I also never call out, "Quads, come
to eat!" Each child is called to meals by his name; each
receives a private invitation to dinner.
They themselves enjoy being quads, and spend most of their
time communicating and fighting with each other, too. Yes,
fighting is also part of the game.
We sent them to nursery and kindergarten in pairs. Sometimes
a teacher would call and say, `Someone who looks like a quad
in our school arrived, but he's not ours." The bus driver had
simply gotten confused and had sent part of the set to the
wrong kindergarten. Today, each studies in a different
cheder.
At night, when they are in bed, my husband and I like to
listen to their conversations, which have a special sweetness
and charm.
"Bentzy, how was cheder today?"
"Boruch Hashem, great!" He asks Yosef. "How was it by
you?"
"Great! Do you like your rebbe?"
Then Shlomo and Yishai chime in and tell about their day. In
that manner, they share their experiences with each other and
make up for the time when they were apart.
[Final installment next week.]
