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Home
and Family
What Does Baby Need?
by A. Ross, M.Ed
When a young mother-to-be is given a shopping list of things
to get, she will, in all likelihood, consult with numerous
friends and then follow the dictates of her own heart and
purse. The emphasis in on the word `need.' When you claim
that you `need' a new dress, it is not always strictly true.
You would like a new dress. Manufacturers naturally
inflate the needs of a baby. They want to sell their wares.
What we are discussing is what a baby truly needs. However,
there are mothers and grandmothers who will hotly contest my
opinions. They are entitled to do so!
Many baby shops have printed lists of all babies' needs.
These lists include an electric bottle heater, a fancy holder
for disposable nappies (diapers), a cot bumper, mittens. The
list is extensive. Mittens are useful, they prevent the
newborn from scratching his face. A bottle heater is
wonderful if you wish to heat a bottle to an exact
temperature, but many babies are perfectly happy to drink
cold milk. Although the Creator has provided milk in a
sterile container at exactly the right temperature, there are
some mothers who are unable to nurse, for one reason or
another. Nevertheless, this article is discussing the
norm.
Thus, if you insist on buying baby formula `for emergencies,'
put it on the very highest shelf which is quite out of reach.
Once one gets into the habit of giving `just one bottle a
day,' that is the beginning of the end of breast feeding. One
can express milk `for an emergency' like the end of Yom
Kippur, in advance. An efficient milk pump should maybe head
the list of babies' needs. Instead, on the list of `needs,'
you will find four bottles, at least. One to drip under the
baby's crib, till the contents are too curdled to drip, one
to be lost and at least two to adorn the draining board.
A friend, mother of a large family, shocks me when she claims
that she doesn't even need a crib, since baby sleeps in her
bed, till the age of about two, or till the arrival of the
new baby, depending on which event occurs first. Nor does her
home sport a baby relax chair (infant seat or sal-
kal). This piece of equipment which is a boon to
thousands of mothers who are able to tote baby around from
room to room to maintain eye contact, is anathema to this
lady. Unlike many mothers who hold their babies round the
middle with their backs towards them, presumably to bring up
wind, this mother cradles her current infant much of the day.
When does she do her housework? It is not one of her
priorities.
Most little girls play with dolls and a doll's carriage at
some time in their childhood. As they get a little older they
dream of the time when they will have a real life `doll' in a
beautiful carriage or stroller. Once the baby has arrived, do
not be hasty in your choice. Think of your lifestyle. If the
stroller is going to be put into the trunk of a car or
collapsed to go on a bus, beauty should be your last
consideration. A well-made stroller which will not
disintegrate within a few months is important. But after that
the main feature is really practicality. Baby doesn't `need'
a Rolls Royce. On the other hand, if you plan to use the
stroller as a second crib, it has to be more adaptable.
One of the items on the list is a pacifier, or rather a few.
It is incredible how many mothers expend time and effort to
induce their child to become an addict. They will try
numerous pacifiers, hoping that one of them will find favor
in the eyes of their little darling. Some children are born
sucking one or more fingers, and admittedly, these babies
seem to cry less and settle down to sleep more easily. Many
mothers claim that it is easier to wean a child off a
pacificer than off a thumb, thus they persevere in pushing
the pacifier into the child's month. There is some truth in
the idea that babies who suck neither a finger nor a
pacifier, are more difficult to soothe when they cry
frantically, seemingly for no good reason. So mothers turn to
the motzeitz to plug baby's mouth and check the cries.
Before you do, think of the percentage of children who need
speech therapy because the soft palate has been pushed out of
shape and of the larger percentage of children who need
orthodontic treatment as a result.
Pharmacies are well stocked with every kind of cream and
lotion for baby's tender skin. Some manufacturers recommend
the use of a cream in the diaper area as a preventive
treatment. If there is a patch of dry skin, or any soreness,
it is sensible to use some suitable cream which the doctor
prescribes. As a general rule though, leave the creams in the
shop. If the baby is persistently sore, it may be the diaper.
Change the sort you buy till you find one which suits your
baby.
Each mother will decide what the baby needs, regardless of
these few lines. What she must remember is that above all
else, a baby needs a mother. He needs his mother's perfect
trust that Hashem has given her the most perfect baby, most
suitable for her. She is the one most suited to give him the
love and the warmth he needs. These are things one cannot
acquire in any shop.
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