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7 Nissan 5763 - April 9, 2003 | Mordecai Plaut, director Published Weekly
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Grab that Chessed
by KSR

In ancient times, at this very season, 24,000 of R' Akiva's students passed away. Based on who they were, they were judged guilty of not according enough respect to one another. The days between Pesach and Shavuos are a time that we are expected to work on our interpersonal relationship. The Giving of the Torah is being counted-down, or rather, up, and we must make ourselves worthy of receiving it. At Har Sinai, Bnei Yisroel were encamped as one united nation, a people of whom Hashem said, "This is My people."

One quality that is a sign of descent from Avrohom Ovinu is chessed. Jewish chessed is outstanding, but in our busy lives, we may sometimes find it difficult to fit it into our day, that is, discounting the very vital chessed to our families on a round-the-clock basis. Maybe there is another option: grabbing the opportunities that come our way.

Following are some real-life examples of women who grabbed chessed, with just a little sacrifice. Some of these could only have been done by newlyweds, others by older women, but all of them made things significantly easier for others.

Night Duty

The first year of marriage, especially for couples coming straight from their home countries to Eretz Yisroel, can be difficult. On the other hand, young couples have an opportunity that older couples don't. They can help families with children. Many times, as their date approaches, expectant mothers worry about the possibility of having to go to the hospital in the middle of the night. Who will tend to the other children? A young couple is the perfect solution. For two of my own births, I called young couples in the middle of the night (with their approval beforehand). They rushed over in no time and slept the rest of the night in our home, got the children ready and off to school in the morning.

Most of us do not live near immediate family, so this option is a tremendous reassurance. Young women should volunteer their services to expectant neighbors.

Along the same lines is offering to spend Shabbos in the homes of mothers near term.

Eager Little Helpers

Women with children have numerous ways of grabbing chessed. A young mother may suddenly run out of milk or bread and be unable to run down to the grocer. Often, neighbor children are more than happy to run down and do this errand for them. It makes them feel trusted and important.

You can send older children over to a neighbor with young ones underfoot, and have them offer to keep them busy while she works around the house. I still remember trying to organize my first seder, alone, with a bored two-and-a- half year-old. My wonderful neighbor sent over her seven-year- old who provided my son with a blast with this older hero while I shredded my horseradish, boiled my eggs and blended my charosses.

FAnX a Lot

Another easy chessed is to offer the use of your FAX machine. It is so easy to receive FAXes, and sending one is not much more difficult. It does cost a little, but you can think of it as your personal gemach with the outlay being insignificantly worthwhile. What comes easy to you and is a boon to another, saving time and hassle, is a true chessed.

Sholom Zochor

Another innovative kindness is helping new parents plan a sholom zochor. A man in our community offers his advice as to amounts of food, drinks, paper products to buy and whom you can ask to help out, like making chick peas. His experience is invaluable for Friday births!

I'm On My Way

On your way to the grocer, or to town, knock on your (elderly/ housebound) neighbor's door and ask if you can do anything for her. Going to the bank? The post office? Drug store? You can save people entire mornings with errands you are doing, anyway.

And the thought behind the gesture is worth at least as much!

YATED

We would prefer that EVERYONE have their own subscription, of course, but we wouldn't want people to miss out on Yated, either. My cousin's former neighbor used to give her the newspaper each week after she had read it. After they moved to Kiryat Sefer, they continued to send it via a commuter!

Time for Change

Another timeless and thoughtful kindness. I recently attended an evening chizuk rally for which there was a five shekel admission charge. I came with a hundred shekel bill, which they couldn't change at the door. A young woman came over with a bag of small change, which she had brought for this very contingency.

Are you ever on a bus when the driver doesn't have change for a passenger? Try carrying around enough small money at all times to help others change a fifty or hundred shekel bill. A tremendous favor at the right time. Even for your grocer. [My grocer is thrilled when I can give him my five agorot coins.]

[Another reverse favor -- people collecting at your door are sometimes loaded down with small money. Offer to change it for a large bill. A full circle for this chessed of venosnu, a palindrome (something that reads the same backwards and forewards).]

Day Camp

There is a remarkable chessed that I wouldn't dare to recommend if I hadn't seen it done! A neighbor of mine who is going away for the seder decided to be Pesachdig a week earlier and actually switched over the kitchen. She ran an afternoon day camp throughout the week before Pesach for 25 children! This particular tzaddekes did not charge money, but even for a considerable sum, it would have been well worth it for a mother to take a needed rest, or just to forge ahead in the quiet!

Opportunity knocks at our door all the time. It is up to us to open it and let the warm sunshine of chessed into our lives.

 

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