Everything is relative, of course. Someone who misses the bus
might think it's a calamity. A woman who just about copes
with the mounds of daily laundry and by Friday heaves a sigh
of relief that it is all folded, ironed and put away, then
groans as her two yeshiva boys turn up with enormous piles of
dirty clothes, which have to be washed, dried and ironed
before Sunday. Then one day, she hears the washing machine
emitting ominous noises. It shudders, coughs and comes to a
standstill. Till it gets repaired, or buried and they buy a
new one -- this lady longs for the daily routine of washing,
folding and ironing.
They bought an apartment which was still under construction
and were told it would be ready within two years. Meanwhile,
they rented an unfurnished apartment and bought their own
necessities. Unfortunately, the new appartment was not yet
completed when their contract for the rented place was up,
and they had to move to another one. A neighbor in their new
abode had to move, too, but did not have the ace-in-the-hole
that sooner or later she would be able to move into an
apartment of her own. She had no money to purchase one, even
`on paper.' The young couple realized that their troubles
were not really as tragic as they had thought them to be,
compared to their nomadic neighbor's.
"We were very happy where we lived, with good neighbors and a
nice home. That was until Michael arrived. Our life became a
misery. This eight-year-old junior neighbor was completely
out of control. He terrorized the children, vandalized and
destroyed anything in sight. In short, he was an impossible
child. Complaints to the parents fell on deaf ears and we
decided to move. Everything went well until our Danny was
born. We noticed very early on that he was not like the
others. He was irritable and restless, but we hoped that
things would improve with time. These were vain hopes; he got
worse as he grew older, wilder and more out of control, and
the neighbors began to complain about him. I remembered
Michael and deeply regretted the fact that I had not counted
my blessings in the old flat, that Michael was not our
son."
When Tirza reached marriageable age, people thought that she
would be one of the first in her class to get engaged. She
was the oldest in a well-to-do family, successful in all she
did. In any event, her classmates got married one by one and
by the age of twenty-six, Tirza had still not found her
intended. One day, her mother met Mrs. Freedman, a former
classmate of hers. She began to pour out her heart about the
trouble she was having in finding a suitable shidduch
for the girl, and that there were so many siblings in line
waiting to get married, when she stopped short. She realized
how ludicrous, even worse, how insensitive, it was that she
was complaining of her lot to a woman who didn't even have a
single child to worry about!
They were overjoyed when they finally had a little girl after
several boys. Unfortunately, their joy was short- lived when
they were told that she had Down's syndrome. The mother could
not come to terms with this fact and spent many days and
nights in tears. Then one day they were told that the little
girl had a serious heart problem. At this point, the mother
wished that her child had `only' Down's.
Avigail was seriously ill and her parents felt as if the
world had collapsed around them. They spent all their time,
energy and money on this one girl, wondering how she would
catch up on her schooling and eventually get married. Then
they heard of other children whose parents had no hope at
all, either because of a physical or mental illness. Who
cares about schooling or even shidduchim? Avigail is
going to recover!
A woman who complains that she is "dropping off her feet" and
is falling asleep standing up, should realize that there are
many under-fulfilled women who would gladly change places
with her, that there are many insomniacs who envy her ability
to sleep "standing up."
The hungry man who has not enough money to buy his food
should talk to the man who has absolutely no desire to eat.
He will then appreciate his own healthy appetite. Another
women who has her own babies to look after and perhaps a new
grandchild in the house, also has aged parents who need her
help, must appreciate that it is harder still to have nobody
to look after, nobody who needs you.
*
There is an old Indian saying that goes: "I felt sorry for
myself that I had no shoes -- until I saw someone who had no
feet." When we compare ourselves to others, we have a choice.
There are always those who are better off, and those who are
worse off.
It always pays to count our blessings because there is no one
in the world -- whether rich or poor, healthy or sick -- who
does not receive some bounty from the Giver of all, at some
time in his life.
