To the Editor:
After reading in your paper that the rabbonim of Agudas
Yisroel of America are planning to issue guidelines to limit
wedding expenses, I would like to suggest that drastic
measures should also be taken to control the improper music
played at weddings.
Four months ago I wrote an article for the Hebrew edition of
this paper explaining that rock and roll has no place at any
Jewish wedding, or at any simchah shel mitzvah, and I
explained that the main problem is not which songs are
played, but in which style they play them. Today the majority
of bands insist on playing everything in the same style as
American pop, or rock and roll, transforming even traditional
Jewish tunes into songs fitting to be played in a night club
or discotheque.
They also insist on playing the same instruments and at the
same unbearable volume as they play them in such undesirable
places.
I received numerous phone calls after that article was
printed, mainly from parents who asked that something be done
to enable people to make a respectable wedding with music
fitting to be played at a simchah shel mitzvah.
I would like to offer several guidelines to help parents who
want to stop their weddings from being spoiled by cheap
disrespectful music.
1. Before ordering a band, it is worthwhile to first listen
to them playing since many bands do not know or do not want
to play in a respectful way.
2. There are some bochurim who claim that there is a
minhag that the chosson chooses the band (with
the advice of his friend). There is no such minhag and
it is the right of the parents who are paying for the band to
choose for themselves.
3. The band should be told in advance how to play and how not
to play and which songs are not to be played. Do not be
embarrassed to tell them to change the tune if it is not
desirable.
4. To sign a contract with the band stating that if they
don't agree to play properly they will not be paid.
5. Since the parents and close family are usually too busy to
pay attention to the way the band is playing, it is advisable
to appoint a responsible person to make sure that they play
the way they were asked to.
6. To explain to the chosson and kallah that
the
day they are married is a day of teshuvoh like Yom
Kippur, and such an occasion should not be spoiled by playing
in a cheap, immoral way, and they should know that there is
no less simchah if the music is played in a
respectable
manner.
7. Ask Daas Torah how to handle all other problems.
We are not goyim! We do not have to follow their ways,
especially when we can see the effects this type of music has
had on the young people in the past 50 years. The Torah warns
in three places not to go in the ways of the goyim so
that we do not act like them.
It is our obligation to protect our children from bad
influences and not let them be led astray by the modern
"chassidic" pop stars. To add a posuk from
Tehillim to such music does not elevate the music.
Instead, it degrades the words of kedushah.
It should be known that this same style of music that we are
being forced to listen to was denounced in America in the mid
1950s after its effects were seen to cause delinquency,
immorality and rebellion to authority and parents. The
following are some of the comments made at the time: "It
appeals to the very base of man, brings out animalism and
vulgarity." (Newsweek, 23/4/56). "A tribalistic and
cannibalistic style of music." (New York Times,
28/3/56). And President Eisenhower said in a public
statement: "It represents some kind of change in our
standards. What has happened to our concepts of beauty,
decency and morality?"
The chareidi newspapers have been writing articles against
the Jewish rock and roll for many years, but very little has
been done to actively take care of the problem. Something
serious must be done to provide kosher music that appeals to
the chareidi public, including young people and the future of
the next generation depends on this.
Anyone who is willing and capable of doing something positive
to remove the bad influence or add good influence to Jewish
music, please contact me at: 03-6191973
Ephraim Luft,
Bnei Brak
The Editor Replies:
Most weddings in Yerushalayim include just a drummer and a
singer and thus do not have some of the problems noted by the
writer.
